How to handle online bullies

@stary1 (6622)
United States
May 16, 2011 6:23pm CST
I have been to a number of discussion groups and inevitably some bully posts nasty 'out down' messages. It really makes me wonder why..why does someone want to hurt a total stranger whom they have never met?? I think it is an insecurity problem. I think some who have low self esteen feel stronger about themselves when they blast someone else. I like to ask a bully..'Did that snarky remark make you feel better about yourself?' Often that is enough to stop them :)
5 people like this
12 responses
@Janey1966 (24127)
• Carlisle, England
16 May 11
The worsed culprits seem to react to articles on Yahoo (mainly to do with football) as it gives them a good excuse to slag each other's teams off. So juvenile it's untrue. I really don't think sites that allow comments are moderated properly. The BBC site seems to be an exception. As for discussion sites, I only use this one so I can't comment on any others..but I do know what you mean. These people appear out of nowhere don't they? It's a shame there isn't a "Bully Alert" F key you could press to get rid of them. How satisfying would that be? Haha!
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
17 May 11
Some sites do have reporting to managers and managers often do try to monitor, but I just think it is so juvenile. I mean what grown person does this.
@Janey1966 (24127)
• Carlisle, England
17 May 11
I don't know. It's the facelessness of it that gets me. No way would one person bully another face to face, unless he/she had friends around them. Online bullying is easier as one person can bully to their heart's content without any comeback at all. It's not right.
1 person likes this
@Janey1966 (24127)
• Carlisle, England
23 May 11
This is one of the reasons I'm actually glad I'm not in the workplace. Cumbrians have a strange sense of humour, especially the women. I would keep my head down on occasion and was accused of "being too quiet" or that I looked "miserable." One woman (my boss) even accused me of bullying HER! I was so taken aback I didn't know what to say. However, it was obvious she wasn't cut out for management as her people skills were non-existent..and she left. I then realised that the people I worked for after that were just as bad so I ended up leaving as well.
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
17 May 11
Hey, can I use that "snarky remark" comment on my sister??? I think it might be they do have low self-esteem, or in my sisters case, she thinks she knows more than I, even though I do more reading and listening to teachings than she does..
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
17 May 11
LOL was that snarky :O ??? Just kiddng..but it isn't as snarky as some :)
1 person likes this
• United States
17 May 11
There you go, that way I can confuse the perp..
@yoyo1198 (3644)
• United States
17 May 11
Most of the forums that I visit that have a comments section, etc., also have a method to report offensive remarks. I've taken advantage of the 'report' buttons several times. On the political sites, it's just a given that there will be trolls and nasty comments. Ignoring them and not commenting back to them or about them will usually result in them going away.
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
17 May 11
I have also reported some. I like political sites and do not think there is any excuse for bullying. It's fine to disagree. It's not fine to attack someone personally for their political view.
• United States
17 May 11
Cowards I say because how on earth would they speak that way in face to face situations unless they are truly that way. But you are right they exist everywhere and low self esteem and this type of behavior must boost them some how. I do enjoy myLot because it is carefully monitored and unless it is healthy debates, bullying and or fights are not tolerated.
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
17 May 11
Mylot does seem like a really good site. I haven't seen bullying remarks..lol maybe they were removed before I could see them or I just haven't been here long enough. Good to know they are not allowed. It's hard not to misunderstand a post, and the benefit of the doubt has to be used, but in dealing with a bully I tend to want to slap them down...:(
@dawnald (84148)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 May 11
I have no doubt that it's self esteem, that and impulse control and anger problems. And the anonymity of the internet makes it that much easier to let loose.
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
17 May 11
Good point. I guess it's like the old 'kick the dog' saying...still it's too bad.
@EdnaReyes (2628)
• Philippines
29 Jun 11
When you react negatively to any comments you received in your discussions it only shows you are not yet ready to be in any forum sites. Yes, there will be nasty remarks but it is all for discussions sake and you should never take them seriously and into your real life system. Most of those online are for earning money and only a few can really give you sincere comments.So don't fret, just smile and keep on typing your discussions!
@katrinapaz (2438)
• Philippines
18 May 11
i have found a hater or bully in one of my posts. At first i did not reply but then the person pissed me so i said that it would be of help if he commented something relevant to the discussion. I rated him a negative. If he does it for the 3rd time i will really report it.
• Mexico
17 May 11
Hi stary: Just ignore them. As you have mentioned if they enjoy attacking people they don't even know they have a really big problem. I have been in some forums where you have the option to 'block' a person that is sending you offensive messages. Try to do this or simply ignore them. They are just stupid persons with low self-steem. ALVARO
• Canada
17 May 11
You're right about insecurity problem. I dont care if I write something and someone will try and bully me. Most of the time, I wont even bother to reply. Of course if it happens on my facebook, then I delete whoever is bullying me. If on a chat messenger, I block them......end of story!
@cynthiann (18619)
• Jamaica
17 May 11
I only log on to Mylot. There has been some incidents of trolling and bullies. I was a victim myself a few weeks ago. So I now do not enter political discussions or when I do I choose my words carefully. A friend posted a light heared discussion about Donad Trump and all hell let loose! So stupid and hurtful. I suppose some people just get a perverse leasure as it is not face to face
@ajk111 (2527)
17 May 11
I feel cyberbullying is more prevailent online because it is so much easier to be nasty hiding behind a monitor. i am not to bothered about silly bullying as it only reflects on their intelligence and i can assure you i went up against a lot in my working life and if you stay calm they always crumble!
@thesids (22358)
• Bhubaneswar, India
17 May 11
Hi Stary That is sad dear. When I was a kid, I was told nd yes it was more believed that a stranger is safer than a known person as a known person may have an ulteriror motive but a stranger who knows almost nothing will not be that harmful. But over the last 35 + years I have seen that belief turn out to be a myth... today stangers are getting unsafe. On the Internet as you mention, there are different kind of people and yes, there are some/many who are frustrated from their real lives... they try to enact or impersonify what they are unable to do in their real world here on the virtual world... thanks to the anonymity. Such people are the ones who normally act as bullies here and the better thing is that they can be avoided... as there is not much fun in getting into disagreements and all that to spoil your time on the internet... I find a few here too ... but stay away from them as I dont find it better to get into arguments or discussions where people are on a high and unwilling to discuss beyond their ideologies.