Torn: Should I do this or not?

@laydee (12814)
Philippines
May 17, 2011 8:09pm CST
For those who have read my discussion about my brother cheating on his girlfriend (who works abroad) with someone who knows her too, what are your thoughts on my probable action? I am thinking of talking to the girl through facebook and telling her to back off. Is it right that I do that or am I meddling too much? I have seen him talking to her on the phone and found messages on his phone yesterday and today, I'm just not sure of what to think.
2 people like this
13 responses
• Philippines
18 May 11
I think that it is best to have a talk with your brother first. Tell him he needed to shape up if he wanted to share the rest of his life with his "official" girlfriend. And if needed be, you will talk with the "official gf" if he won't budge. Do not, I repeat, do not communicate with the other girl via any means. It will only jeopardize your relationship with your brother and will make matters worst. It is sweet that you thought about your brother and its kind for you to be sensitive of other people's emotions. You may not need to turn over a blind eye over this, you obviously have the means and capability to help..meddling is not that bad, just don't overdo it. Your intentions are for the good of your brother.
@SIMPLYD (83178)
• Philippines
18 May 11
I totally agree with all you said sophiecheer. She should talk to her brother about how it bothers her that he is doing that to her official girlfriend who's abroad. But when he does that, she should do it in a manner that is not confrontational but in a lovingly way, as a sister as to her brother and vice versa.
2 people like this
• Philippines
18 May 11
I am glad that we share the same opinion about this matter, Simplyd. And I agree that the manner of her approach should not be condescending to her brother. As you said, it should be in a "lovingly way". Blessed day.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
18 May 11
I have already talked to my brother, he knows that I'm not tolerating it, but sadly he doesn't see anything wrong with what he's doing. The new girl keeps calling him and he says he has no choice but to answer because he pities her. Anyhow, I'm still thinking bout it but I know I don't think it's right to talk to the girl but I'm jut angry that there are these types of women who know that the men they're flirting with are attached. Oh well I guess there's really nothing I can do about this one.
• Canada
18 May 11
i dont think you should get involved in that manner. if you tell that woman to back off it probably wouldn't stop the situation.if you must get involved at all confront your brother about what he's doing or even let his girlfriend know.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
18 May 11
I have confronted my brother about it, I am yet torn whether or not to tell the girlfriend because she's far and it's tough in her situation because she can't really do something about it.
• Philippines
18 May 11
I am Sure you'd help the girl friend because i do remember that her situation is reminiscing a bit to yours when it happened to you, i remember those discussions. but if you do this, chances are that you're brother could hate you for meddling his flirting but the good side is that you'd give that girl a chance to let go of the chain.. you're choice laydee, but remember the possible consequences if they do break up and he finding out that you intervene. have a nice day.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 May 11
I think you should talk with your brother first. the ask us again what you should do next. the relationship is between your brother and his girlfriend, and the other woman. talk with your bro, ask him why is he in a rel when he has a gf working abroad. if he's cheating tell him that's wrong and he should decide who he loves and then stop his rel to whoever he does not love
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
30 May 11
Yes, I have already talked to him about it and have decided that I would no longer meddle with his affairs. If he's going to continue his ways and things would go bad, he no longer has the right to blame me for not doing anything about it. I think he's old enough to decide for his own. Thank you for the response. Have a great MyLot experience!
• Philippines
22 May 11
There are matters that are within your reach but there are matters that you should back off. You should be talking to your brother directly if you would want to help. Your brother might be wrong but you do not have a full understanding of the situation. Talk to your bro first before you take further action.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
23 May 11
I have talked to him and have decided not to take further action. It's difficult to fight for a love that perhaps isn't there anymore and forcing him to do something that he no longer feels doing would be something I too would regret in the end. I know the girlfriend might think ill of me for not telling her so, but I think I should take the more 'mature' side of things and instead of just reacting, I shall take time understanding both their sides for now. My friends here and in mylot have proven a great point. Good relationships may be difficult to find but it's more difficult to keep, I cannot stop a person from doing something that I think is 'wrong' because it's his life anyways. I should only not lack in reminding him of the mistakes and pray that he would understand and get my point before everything is too late. If by chance it would be too late, then I can punish them both forever for the mistake that they have done. hehehe.. Thank you for dropping by.
@cream97 (29166)
• United States
18 May 11
Hi. laydee. I think that you should just talk to your brother and let him be honest with his girlfriend. Don't get into the middle of anything. Your brother should be honest with his girlfriend. Lying will not help at all. Your brother should be honest and stop messing around with this other girl.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
20 May 11
I have done my part and I don't know if he's listening, but if his life will go to rubbles, then that's his life.
• Philippines
18 May 11
Your bro is big enough laydee to make a decision for himself. Talking to his girlfriend is meddling too much. Talk to your brother and let him realize that what he is doing is not right. If he won't take your advice, that's his call. The point is you already made your part. It's time that your brother do his part too. If he won't, tell him to face the consequences of his doing, and then focus on your life.
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
20 May 11
Yeah, I have decided not to meddle. It's just futile because ultimately it's his decision anyway. If he's going to make a mistake, that is his life and that was his choice at least I told him my thoughts and warned him beforehand.
@SangsTurks (1447)
• India
18 May 11
If you are going to do anything,think twice. They can just be good friends who like to spend time together. If you do have to talk to his girlfriend, be very very sure about your brother dating someone else. Do the messeges indicate that the are going around, i mean romantically? Oh, why am i even saying this, firstly you shouldn't be spying on your brother. Its a question of your brothers life, what if you complain to his original girlfriend and then you get to know that your brother was just friend and nothing more with this girl? You would end up spoiling your brother's relationship with his girlfriend. Just think before doing anything, and if possible don't interfere, life is full of ups and downs, his girlfriend would also come to know about it.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
18 May 11
I'm pretty sure they're more than friends because she comes over. Once I even saw that she was upset about something, at first, I thought it was only because of the frustration about her job. But when he told me that she was romantically linked with her (and promised he ended it) I totally got the idea of what's really happening. I know I should not interfere, but how do you turn a blind eye for this one if you know that a person out there is loyal and is working so that they could have a family when she returns???
• Mexico
18 May 11
have you ever try to talk to your brother? maybe he change his mind about his girlfriend, or broke with her days before who knows, anyway you cannot be in the middle if you dont know all about this two, the best is talk to him directly and if he is really cheating on her, one on the things you can do is advice the girl to leave your brother because he cheat on her, that is all
1 person likes this
• United States
18 May 11
You should probably stay out of it. It might be hard to stand around and watch but it isn't your issue to get involved in.
1 person likes this
@obe212003 (2302)
• Philippines
18 May 11
the best thing to do is talk to your brother. Express your opinion and hopefully you could find out what the reasons for his actions. Sometimes a change of heart is possible due to absence of the one we love, and also there is a possible have fallen with someone else. There is no need to meddle unless he needs your help, okay?
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 May 11
Hello Laydee, Maybe it's best if you shouldn't intervene anymore. if you're brother doesn't listen to you then it's his choice, for all i know he's taking advantage of the situation and probably might realize it when it's too late. he's a kid anymore but of course, he can't blame it on any one if he makes a big mistake in the end. you have to trust him and move on, if he fails to take care of the situation then it's his fault. not yours.
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@arielfu (59)
• China
18 May 11
I also think you should talk to your brother frist,if he insists on being with that girl together,then you tell her girlfriend,but it maybe cause conflicting between you and your brother.
1 person likes this
• India
18 May 11
I think you should talk to your brother before telling her. Just put yourself in his shoes and think what you'd want him to do. And I don't think you are meddling too much;he is your brother after all. You are just looking out for him. Good Luck anyway. :)
1 person likes this