so he told me i am weak
May 17, 2011 10:11pm CST
During one of our school's meeting with the grievance committee, our assistant to the principal told me pointblank and in front of every member present that I have a weak personality. How do you take something like that? I opted to keep my thoughts to myself, twisted my tongue and sealed my lips. But that didn't keep my mind from working and coming up with thoughts like, "the nerve of this man to analyze my personality...", you know, stuffs like that really comes out when you're hurt and angry and in denial. Actually, I, also believe I am weak. I get hurt easily with things or events which are actually no big deals. And worst, I cry a lot. I don't understand why I am like this. And this doesn't help my professional growth. You see, I am working as a science teacher in a public school. I have been designated as a Year Level Curriculum Chairman for five years where I have to monitor if the curriculum is properly implemented and in doing so I have to interact with my colleagues. However, at times its inevitable that you get to be in trouble with those who refuse to follow thinking they know better. Perhaps...but we are not in liberty to deviate from what we were required to do...surely, that's understandable, is it not? Since, I don't want to have conflict with anyone from my workplace, I begged off. Just when I thought I was already off the hook, my principal designated me again to a new position, this time as department coordinator. And again, I am having the hardest time handling the teachers in my department. These people are all science teachers with intelligence you cannot question but comes with it are attitudes. The I-am-better-than-you attitude. Oh, I don't really mind if they are better because I know they really are but to them, maybe it means a lot that only someone like me is heading the department. So that's where the conflict started, and again, I begged my principal for replacement. But this time, he stood his ground by saying, "No, you are staying as the department coordinator. You have to prove them wrong." If there's anything I hate, its proving myself to anyone. I only encourage myself to seek professional growth for my own sense of achievement and not to show off. But I guess, you cannot achieve professional growth if the people around you do not trust your abilities. So I stayed, tried to iron out the differences...some have been settled but there are still gray areas, which I can only work on after I have strengthened myself...
• United States
19 May 11
You are very humble. You don't care to impress anyone, but maybe you can look at this as a challenge for yourself to prove to yourself that you are a good leader. Your boss seems to think so. There is something about you that he likes, and he sees something in you. Perhaps you need to prove him right. This decision he has made for you is not only for you, but for him. Stand your ground for the man who has your back and be the best coordinator you can be.
18 May 11
I have a friend like you, she also has a weak personality and she knows about it. She used to cry a lot when things go bad or when a customer discusses grievances with her. After a few years, she became tougher and the frailty was eliminated. I guess she grew tired of being pushed around because of her weakness. I think you should too. Try to think about things and just don't give sh*t to whatever they're saying about you. The most important thing here is for you to be able to develop yourself in the process. I think you are given those responsibilities because they're trying to help you and develop your personality - I think they already know you have got potential that is why they're assigning you to those things. Just hang in there and don't think about what others say but rather just do what you can and try to enhance your personality by joining groups and just talking in front. Boost your confidence and show them what you've got! Good luck!
19 May 11
After reading your post, I'm almost tempted to ask about your friend and how was she able to toughen herself. But I guess, that's it, when you grew tired of being pushed around, that's when you'll stop and think why are you letting this people rule over you. And you can't take this negatively because you'll ruin yourself in the end. I have to look at things from a positive angle so I can move on to developing myself into someone who is more than just good. Thank you.