What will you do if your gf/bf always do things you don't like?

Philippines
May 21, 2011 3:28am CST
I am so confused my boyfriend always do things that I hate like DOTA an online game I don't know why most of the guys are addicted to that game for me it's a waste of time.He would rather play that game than to be with our daughter!and we always argue because of that but he keeps on doing..I don't know what to do with him..I love him despite of that..haist
3 people like this
12 responses
• Philippines
21 May 11
You cannot force your BF to stop doing things that he is passionately crazy about. But if his passion is already getting in his way of parenting, you should really assert yourself. Your being a mother to his daughter gives you leverage over him. You have every right to assert yourself cause as a mother you don't want your child to be forsaken by his father. More so, you need to assert yourself because the reason for his negligence is very childish. I agree to all our fellow mylotters, you need to really communicate with your BF. Settle things before it goes out of hand. God bless and welcome to mylot!
• Philippines
22 May 11
Thank you very much for your warm welcome here..actually I sign here last year but I didn't continue because I don't have time..Like what Ive said I already talk to him many times but it didn't work maybe I just have to accept that if he really wants to change he'll change I just hope that when that time comes he realize that were still together
• Philippines
22 May 11
thank you so much sophie I hope that he will realize that.I'm gonna try my best to make him realize that family is more important than anything else
• Philippines
22 May 11
Oh it's a good thing that you have the time nowadays. Honestly,MG you really need to ASSERT yourself..not just talk to him. Make it clear to him that your daughter's well being is on the line because of his "addiction". You cannot just wait for him to change, he really need to realize that this is a serious matter.
@moirai (2842)
• Philippines
22 May 11
Hmm... well, maybe you can try to ask for a compromise. I wouldn't ask him to stop playing altogether, because that might only irritate him more. Instead, I would ask him to maybe try to divide his time. He can still play, it is something he enjoys... but half of the time he should try to spend with his daughter because she needs him too.
• Philippines
22 May 11
Ive said that already..but like what I've said it didn't work maybe i have to reflect on myself and figure out what to do
@moirai (2842)
• Philippines
22 May 11
Maybe the boyfriend hasn't really reached that level of maturity yet. =P
@Lexus656 (672)
• United States
22 May 11
I believe your going to have to give him an ultimatium. I know that sounds horrible but you and your daughter deser e a lot better. Its ridiculous that he cant spend time with her. I've been in the situation and now we are a lot better off. Its not going to be easy you'll have to be strong he will realize that there's more to life them video games and what makes him happy.
• Philippines
22 May 11
Thank you for the advice i will do that i hope it will work
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
22 May 11
If my boyfriend was doing things that i didn't like and he knew that it bothered me, i a m afraid the relationship would suffer. It would be hard to keep resentful feelings from interfereing with the balance of the relationship and what was important.
• Philippines
22 May 11
Thank you for your advice I really appreciate it:) I think I'm going to love my lot
• United States
21 May 11
If my boyfriend was always doing things I didn't like, I'd let him be and that's because I'm sure there are things that we do that boys don't like and they just deal with it because it's not hurting them. I think you should let him be happy playing his game because it will cause a rift in your relationship.
• Philippines
22 May 11
If we don't have a daughter who needs his attention I will let him play 24hrs..my daughter needs more attention than that online games..
• United States
22 May 11
Well, I didn't know you guys had a daughter.
• Australia
22 May 11
Hi there, Welcome to Mylot! This used to happen at my home every single day. My hubby is obsessed with his XBoX360 and i am sick of it! I told him every single day that we need to spend some time together, talk to each other or may be go for a drive. But no, he goes 'hun, i am tired today, let me relax myself a bit..we can always go out tomorrow!'. What else could i say, i just kept quiet and started doing my stuffs. Few weeks later, i took his xbox and hide it at my friend's place. He got so angry that night but calmed down the other day. He promised he'd never give priority to xbox over me. I didn't get him his xbox back for a week and finally when i felt i could trust him...i gave it back to him. These days, he plays on it only on weekends or whenever i am not at home... I your case, you could try disconnecting the internet for a while so that he can spend sometime with you and your lovely daughter! Good Luck!
• Philippines
23 May 11
wow..that's nice I will try that too..hope it will work:) thanks for the advice
@zhpshql (693)
• China
21 May 11
Hi, well,love one ,then love his dog...^^ you can try to talk with him,and tell him that you don't like that...I think if he love you,he won't do that again...
• Philippines
22 May 11
He said he love me but he keeps doing things i don't like..I talk to him but it didn't work
@Lexus656 (672)
• United States
22 May 11
I believe your going to have to give him an ultimatium. I know that sounds horrible but you and your daughter deser e a lot better. Its ridiculous that he cant spend time with her. I've been in the situation and now we are a lot better off. Its not going to be easy you'll have to be strong he will realize that there's more to life them video games and what makes him happy.
@gaiza12 (4884)
• Philippines
21 May 11
Why not ask your daughter to speak with your boyfriend, if she can already talk. Ask your daughter to seek attention to his father so he will be forced to leave the game and spend time with both of you. Good think my bf never plays online games. He was mad at me at some point when I was the one addicted to playing online games. I stopped because it was not really worth it losing someone who loves me so much and the time and money is also a waste. There is no better way to solve this issue out but to talk with your boyfriend. At least that's how we did it before with my bf, and good thing I was the one who quit before anything bad happens.
• Philippines
22 May 11
good for you.I already talk to him many times already but he will just say that he will quit but after a week he will do it again..he gives me headache and heartache..I don't know what to do with him anymore he's a hopeless case haist..thanks for the advice
@narnia007 (1050)
• India
21 May 11
Instead of telling this here,You tell him directly,Tell him how much you love him and also how much you want him to leave that game.Trust me,there are wonders a gal can make their guy to do.My brother was so addicted to gaming and trust me,it was his wife who completely changed him and now he hates computer games.Try your luck.Surely your feeling could be understood by him.Happy mylotting.
• Philippines
22 May 11
Thanks for the advice.I wrote this because I want to release this burden inside of me..Good for your brother that he change..I already did that but it didn't work..I just hope that someday he will realize that being with his family is better than online games..
• Portugal
21 May 11
talk with him^^ thats the best way. say that its ok that he plays that game but he should also take time for your daughter and for you too. the day is 24 hours so im sure he can find time for take care of his gf and daughter and to play the game too. just tell him how you feel and im sure he will change. i mean he should know that you are more important than a game :) and there is always time for everything if we want.
• Philippines
22 May 11
thanks sweet for the advice It's nice to know that people I really don't know give me advice:) I already did that I just hope that it will sink in his mind
@yoniarnon (1079)
• Israel
21 May 11
I think you should talk with him, tell him what you feel, tell him you think he should play with that less and try to ask him why he like it so much, cause may be he play with that only to run away from some thing else..
• Philippines
22 May 11
I already talk to him but its useless..he said he will change but after a week he will do that again