May 24, 2011 4:06pm CST
I met a girl months ago, who lives in the block of flats across the road from my house. She's got a little boy of about a year and a half. She's also got a girl who must be 3 months by now. I have never found it easy to make friends so I was happy that she sought out my acquaintance. She has now started asking me to come over and knock, any time, and have a coffee with her. I saw her today and she said to come over tomorrow. Her on/off boyfriend and father of her kids, I now know, if a bit of a wild card. A druggie by all accounts and goodness knows what else. She has kicked him out at the moment but I know it isn't their first split, and I am a little concerned about getting involved. Am I being silly? She seems a lovely girl and I would like to be friends with her, its just that we live so close and I don't want any problems caused if her ex kicks off
1 person likes this
• United States
24 May 11
Ok, so first if u want to be friends, go ahead no one is stopping you. Don't get too involved with their life though. If there will be any problems one of them (maybe the guy) will blame you for making her turn on him and such. You can give her advices and get to know her and her problem if she is comfortable sharing it with you. Tell her that if she needs you in anything you will be there, but don't go rushing in her problems
25 May 11
I see your feelings for her. You should I guess, should come over your feelings, and think frankly to yourself, If what you want is right or not? It is good that want to make sure that your neighbours do stay happy. Sometimes you may not want yourself in trouble for it.
• United States
24 May 11
one thing that most people know about friendship is: the closer we are to someone, the more likely we are to be involved in his/her personal problems. so, in your case, it is no wonder if someday you will find your self really involved in her family problem. I think you should re-consider your willing to befriend her. why do you wanna befriend her? is it merely because she is a lovely girl and a nice person to have a chitchat with? is it because you feel pity and empathetic to her having problem with her boyfriend? if the risk is too high, it's better not to step in her life too deep. you still can be her good friend by visiting her sometimes and listening to her stories, but you don't have to become her best friend who must sacrifice your own energy, time, maybe money, or even life for her. you know that crossing the limit to be involved in a best friend's personal problem can be a dangerous thing to do. but if you are already sure to make a deeper friendship with her for whatever reason, you should help her as much as you can. it's like almost 100% involvement in her personal problem. that is what a best friend does for his/her best friend. you know the risks that you will be facing and you already prepare yourself for the worst thing that may come as a result of your involvement with your best friend's personal life. I hope you will make a right decision. happy friendship.