My bestfriend confessed that she's inlove with my boyfriend! what should I do?

Philippines
May 27, 2011 9:04pm CST
Annie and I are bestfriends forever. We've been seatmates since 3rd grade and we're still together until college because we also took the same course. Ricky has been my bf for 2 years now and we're very much inlove. I and Annie met Ricky during a training at school, he's one of the emergency trainers. Annie never had a boyfriend and Ricky's my first. Few weeks ago, Annie told me a very shocking confession! She said she's inlove with Ricky that's why she did not entertain suitors and the worst part is, she has been diagnosed with leukemia few months back! It was the worst day of my life. I told Ricky about this and he was also confused. I love Annie so much and would do anything to make her happy on the last days of her life but I love Ricky too..
2 people like this
16 responses
• United States
29 May 11
I think that you should do whatever makes her happy and if being with Ricky for a last few days of her life will make her happy then make that sacrifice. Because maybe sometimes we need a little bit of a perk to keep surviving.
• Philippines
31 May 11
I sure wish I can give her everything that would make her happy! I have talked to Ricky about this and honestly, he's hesitant to even give Annie clue that he might be in love with her. He told me that he would do whatever would make Annie happy but he does not want to be unfair to me or to Annie because he said Annie's like a sister to him. It gets more confusing and difficult. Annie does not know that Ricky knows abut this.. :(
• United States
31 May 11
I don't think that you should do that to Annie, I think that it's great that she confessed this to you but I don't think you could make Ricky do that Annie. If I were Annie, I probably would've told you so that way I can let the guilt out before my last few days. Did she ever say that she wanted to be with Ricky?
@kquiming (2999)
• Philippines
28 May 11
well that's really sad.... i think the best thing you could do for her (assuming she doesn't have much time to live) is to make her feel loved... how? well i can't tell exactly how, you're the one who really knows her, and i know you can figure out what to do. make her feel happy. not just you, also your boyfriend. and if she loves ricky, she would want him to be happy. which is, to be with you... since the guy is happy with you, right? and i'm sure annie loves you too, and would want you to be happy as well. so just do things or activities, the three of you together, to make her happy, accepted, loved, comforted, etc..you know what i mean. she needs her family too and all the support she can get from other friends or relatives... maybe you could include these other people in your plans too. take care of her...she won't be around for too long.
• Philippines
31 May 11
Thank you much for your advice.. know what, I try everything I know to make her happy. If I'm off work, I bring dvd's at the hospital then we watch it together, like the old days. I wish we can do more like badminton- like in college but she's too weak now. She has been starting chemotherapy last month and I think she's starting to hate herself because of the changes and pain.. It always make me cry to see her getting weaker, uglier, everyday. I just wish I can do more. Ricky and i talked about this and we haven't come up with any decision yet- Annie does not have a clue that Ricky knows about her confession.. I know she'll freak out if she'll know..:(
@kquiming (2999)
• Philippines
4 Jun 11
yep, she'll likely freak out and hate you if she finds out that you've told ricky about her confession. anyway, let's just pray for her...there's nothing else to do, you've been doing everything you can....it's really saddening to hear about your friend's story :(
@ravisivan (14055)
• India
28 May 11
You have mentioned Ricky's my first. That mean there can be second bf. So decide. Regarding your friend having leukemia let it not be like in movies a anti heroine tells a lie ! I wish it should so and hence your friend will not be in danger. Once you know Rickie has been after another person how come you are still in love with that person. You must only decide after thinking twice. have a good day.
• Philippines
31 May 11
Yes, Ricky is my first. I am not sure if there will be second or if there will be, when will he come.. He's my first love and I am soo happy with him. I haven't watched the movie anti heroine, I wish I had so that i would understand what you mean.. I am also not sure what you mean on the second paragraph- "Ricky has been after another person how come you are still in love with him" Kindly clarify it please.. but I really appreciate you're concern. Thank you..
@ravisivan (14055)
• India
1 Jun 11
I said the situation resembles a movie story. I am not meaning any particular movie. The second line tells -- u are willing to take Ricky inspite of his affairs with another girl -- meaning ur acceptance of him even though he is loving another person. --I am sure u will understand now. In life many times we think - we cannot be without a particular thing or a person. But experience has proved we can exist, we can be more happy, we can be more effective even without those possessions/people whom/who regarded as indispensable. have a good day.
• Mexico
29 May 11
Hi Nikki blobelle: I think that's sad but at the same time, it's your boyfriend. I don't think she needs to take your boyfriend to be happy again. At least she was honest with you. If she is a really loyal friend she won't hurt you. Why don't you encourage her to meet some other boys. I don't know, what about going out and meeting new persons. Maybe she is just confused with her feelings. ALVARO
• Philippines
31 May 11
Thank you so much for the concern and the advice.. I can try to do that- to encourage her to meet other guys but the saddest part is-- she's starting to pity herself because she's now starting to lose her hair due to the therapy.. it always makes me cry to think..I don't know how long will she last.. she's getting really weak:'(
• United States
28 May 11
I feel sorry for her being diagnosed with leukemia. But I dont think I could trust my friend being around my boyfriend for awhile since she's in love with him. Especially since she said she doesnt have a boyfriend herself because she is in love with your boyfriend. That to me means that if she ever got the chance and if he ever came on to her she would go for it. I could see if she said she's in love with him but she would never do anything with him becuase you are her friend. she didnt say that though she basically said that she is in love with your boyfriend and she doesnt have a boyfriend because she wants yours. I mean why else would she not be interested in any other guys? Again I feel sorry for her but that still is no excuse for her to disrespect your friendship.
• Philippines
31 May 11
Thank you so much for your comment.. I completely understood your point but somehow at this time, I just can't think to put Annie in bad light. She has been like a sister to me, maybe that's why she's in love with Ricky because even though in grade school, we have almost the same interests. If Annie is not sick, I could slap her and tell her to get away from us. She's getting weaker now and everytime the pain starts, I just turn my back and wish I can comfort her and give her everything that would make her truly happy..:(
@original8 (108)
• Belgium
28 May 11
I also adviced as shown here to do something nice with the 3 of you, just enjoying the time, know that when positive thoughts are experienced by annie then her disease, will go away.
• Philippines
31 May 11
Thank you for the advice.. I also bring dvd's at the hospital and we would watch it together. because we both love watching movies when we were in college. I hope what you said will be true- that we can be with her a little longer.. She's getting weaker everyday..:'(
• Philippines
4 Jun 11
I'm sorry to hear that. But for me it is not fair to give your boyfriend to your friend just to make her happy. It wouldn't be fair to her either knowing that your boyfriend will only notice her cause of her illness. And it's not love at all it's just a lie. But of course if I'm in that situation I'll do anything's possible to make her remaining days the most memorable and happiest days of her life.
• Philippines
28 May 11
hi, nikki! that is so sad to hear. what kind of leukemia does she have? ask her about it and ask her doctors if there's still time to treat her. But You know you don't need to sacrifice your relationship about this. JUst be a true friend to her. You don't need to give your BF to her and let them have a relationship. In the end you'll all feel awful about this. Just continue being a friend and hopefully her leukemia can be treated
@ellebj (784)
• Philippines
28 May 11
i think you do things together but not necessarily give your boyfriend away. If you really love your friend, you won't let her to be hurt. Because if I were her, I will not be happy if I my bestfriend will give her boyfriend to me because I maybe be dying. And I will be hurt even more if you will be hurt. And I don't even want get the guy who don't love me. To make it clear, you don't have to give your boyfriend to your bestfriend to make her happy, it is more on understanding her and spending time with her. Because i think a guy will be hurt to give him away because you are sorry for your bestfriend. and giving him to her will make you lose your boyfriend also. Maybe, the reason why your bestfriend told you that, is, because she will not have peace if she keeps on keeping her feelings with her. Don't worry that much. Think of it deeply. and also, the decision of your boyfriend to be with your bestfriend must come to your boyfriend and not yours.. because, it is very painful to pretend to love someone that you don't love. you will just hurt each other.
• India
28 May 11
well its not her fault. love just happen from the heart. and also she hasnt done anything wrong, she confessed that she loves your boyfriend. which is a good thing. make her last days count, hangout together. messing up things with her wont really help, and then regretting later wont change anything after she's gone. so yew an your boyfriend should talk to her about this, and may be try and help her to get through and be happy.
• China
28 May 11
Sorry to hear that. Maybe I can know your feelings. The difference is my friend is OK.About this I think you three should sit down and have a talk. Your friend is in love with you bf, but what about your bf?
@Sanitary (3969)
• Singapore
28 May 11
This sounds like a drama out of a television series. Whatever it is, don't give up your love to someone who's dying because it's not fair to your bf, Ricky. Your best friend, Annie might be able to get her wish fulfilled, but at what cost? If she's really your best friend, she won't want u to give up your bf for her, knowing her own condition. She might be happy, but what's going to happen after she leaves peacefully? Will your relationship with Ricky remain the same?
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
28 May 11
I am so sorry you have this to deal with, Nikki. Depending on the type of Leukemia your friend has, she might be able to be treated and survive. What have the doctors told her? This is awfully heart wrenching for you, but you don't need to sacrifice your happiness for her. It sounds as if your boyfriend is not interested in her. You could both just be her friend and help her through any difficult days ahead. God Bless you all.
• United States
28 May 11
That's so sad. Make her last days count, make them the best ones she ever had. It's not her fault she loves your bf, and you should be glad she was sincere and not hiding it from you.
@lajonez (478)
• Poland
28 May 11
It's very sad, but you're saying like she's going to die... is not hope for her? The one thing you can do for her is to be there, to help her with anything she will need, but you shouldn't break up with your boyfriend, because then 3 persons will be hurted because of this situation not only 1, I know you wish to make her feel better about Ricky but you can't... you can just stop talking to her about Ricky and meet with her without him, or maybe Ricky has some friend he would be interested in your friend, then you should make some double date, maybe your friend is not in love with Ricky, maybe she is just thinking she is because she never had boyfriend before, and now you're in relationship and she wish she would also be in love.
@tiina05 (2319)
• Philippines
28 May 11
hello, Oh? I am sorry for your friend. You know it always your decision if you really want to let go your boyfriend with your friend I know it will hurt. Don't get me wrong with my words but please think of yourself before anybody, I know you love your friend but will you risk your relationship?. I know you don't like to be selfish but this is really difficult you must talk to your friend about it because you and ricky have a good relation now. Tell what you really feels about it.