Those with anxiety disorder..do you drive alone and/or stay at home alone?

@apickett (123)
United States
May 28, 2011 7:11pm CST
I have had anxiety disorder (anxiety attacks) off and on since I was 14 years old. I am now 31. My anxiety issues have hindered me from doing many enjoyable things. The anxiety has also kept me from driving alone and staying at home (or anywhere) alone since I was about 18. I am blessed to have a loving and understanding husband that never leaves me alone (when he is working, he takes me to my parent's house or my grandmothers house). It truly sucks, for lack of better words. I am just wondering if anyone else has this issues or if anyone has had this issue? I have been in counseling and even tried exposure therapy (although I didn't continue because my counselor left the place I was going to) to no avail. I want to drive, work, and stay at home alone if needed but feel like I never will. :( Any thoughts, suggestions?
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7 responses
• United Kingdom
29 May 11
I can relate to you on this and I find it quite embarrassing to talk about but all the same I have been suffering with anxiety for a number of years. I live alone and I have read countless books on how to rectify and improve my situation and some books have helped put me in the correct frame of mind. I also received counselling in the past and this helped me a great deal. Once my counselling had come to an end though I felt that I was left to my own devices! Well, I don't suppose I could continue to see the counsellor forever as some things just have to come to an end. My greatest fear and the time when I feel most anxious is when I am in crowded situations. I don't like this situation that much and I have to just silently walk away, I need an escape route. I'm thinking that there is help for you and the best thing you can do for yourself is to communicate with others that share the same issues as you and you have made a good start with this I think. You are lucky in that you have a husband who can support you through the difficult moments. Unfortunately I don't have anyone so I have to support myself and read self-help books and the like and I guess they then become my teacher, my mentor if you like! I try to remain positive each new day now and I try to do a lot of what I enjoy and that is regular cycling! I really push myself quite hard when on the bike and I suppose I release a lot of the anger and stress by doing this activity on a regular basis. I really wish you well. I don't know if you have read any self-help books on this particular issue but I would recommend that you do this as they are a great source of information or even do some research via the good old Internet. Good luck. Andrew
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@leonsan (49)
29 May 11
The biggest problem that we all face with phobias and disorders is the most obvious one, in order to overcome 'it', we have to face it, and we don't want to: "I know you're scared of snakes, do you want to hold this snake?" Duh!! The problem is in the brain, it knows it's scared of something and it's as simple as that, now if the brain can be taught that it there is nothing to fear, then things can sometimes get better; BUT, if not, then you have to work around it as best as possible. If the exposure therapy was working, try that with a friend, relative, or your husband. The counselor was an aid, not the therapy itself, give it a go, and see how you go.
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@apickett (123)
• United States
29 May 11
So very true! I am going to try to see if my hubby can help me face the fears, I just got to put my mind to it and "stop" the "what ifs" that my mind keeps repeating. Thanks for your reply!
@celticeagle (118615)
• Boise, Idaho
29 May 11
I have severe depression with anxiety attacks. I have had depression since I was in my mid to late teens as well. I have my good days and my extremely bad days. I usually stay(with the help of my meds) somewhere in between. It took alot of work to find the correct medication for me. I would hate to see how I handled things without the meds. You must by this time know your own limits. I would be sure to have planned ahead and have plenty of stimulus to keep you occupied. If you know when people will be there I would work mentally toward that time. And having available contact by phone or email with someone is very important. If you really want to work on trying to be alone I would do it for a very short amount of time at first and then work up to more time alone. But always have a back up plan.
@apickett (123)
• United States
29 May 11
Thanks for your reply. Anxiety and depression are both horrible but I thank God that there are meds for them. I can't imagine being without the meds either. I would be a basket case. As far as limits, I do have several but I have had no way around certain ones at times (ie: going on the interstate, being in a traffic jam, going into crowded stores, etc.) and I feel that has sort of helped me get a bit more comfortable with them. Of course my husband or another "safe person" was with me to help me through the anxiety. But as far as trying to stay alone and/or drive alone...I just can't do it. I have tried so many times..sigh. I wish there was a pill that would make you "forget" that you have anxiety disorder. Would be awesome for sure. Thanks so much again!
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@celticeagle (118615)
• Boise, Idaho
29 May 11
I can't be around alot of people. And as far as forgetting the disorder, you need to realize what causes it and hit that head on. WOrk that out and you will be fine.
@apickett (123)
• United States
29 May 11
That's true, I use to keep a journal and wrote down each time I would have one. My counselor told me to do this and look back to see what might have triggered it. I need to do that again.
1 person likes this
• Portugal
29 May 11
i also think maybe i have that problem :( bcs im always feeling nervous. if im not distracted watching tv or in the computer i start to feel very nervous. so i guess i understand your problem. i guess that i also have a problem but about anxiety disorder i dont know. but the truth is that sometimes i feel so nervous that my body is like i feel it is weird inside you know? and my heart beats sometimes not normally. im sorry that you cant have a lot of freedom :( about your hubby is really cute that he is good to you :) at least you have a good loving guy cheer up and if need to talk just message me^^
@apickett (123)
• United States
29 May 11
Awww, yes it sounds as though you may have anxiety too. It can cause your heart to beat faster and it can also cause the strange feeling, the way I can describe it is almost as if you are in a dream or something. Kind of like you are moving in slow motion and your head seems to be floating :( Its horrible. You are right though, it is wonderful that my husband is here for me. I thank God for that. Thank you so much for your reply! The same goes for you, if you ever need to talk you can message me as well :)
• Portugal
29 May 11
thanks so muchy^^ i really appreciate that. yes i guess im too anxious and nervous lately. i just wish i could also have a bf to help me feeling better. i had a few time ago but he just gave up on waiting me. he found someone else without warn me about it. i just feel like now i have nothing. i was trying to find a job so could go and be with him bcs he lives so far. but now he has someone. i just wanted a chance to talk to him and say some things. but he isnt giving me that chance. what makes me feel even worse. i feel a bit lost in my life lately :(
@apickett (123)
• United States
29 May 11
You're very welcome! Awe, I'm so sorry that your boyfriend treated you that way. You don't need him if he is that way. You will find someone special and worth your wait. You seem like a sweet girl. Don't give up on love, there are many others out there who would be so happy to be with you! **Hugs**
@locakai (166)
• United States
29 May 11
I have driving alone anxiety issues. If I don't know the place, or where it is, or the parking, or what street to take. When I drive alone, I'm scare that I am going to die. Idk why, but that it. I do bring my bring my phone. IF I know where the place is I try to psych myself out to drive, and get there safe as possible. I'm not scared of myself but from the other drivers. I wasn't driving, but was in a very bad car/truck accident,the driver of the truck was drunk, and hit us, because he needed to get home before his wife go there. Its sucks, I don't trust other drivers, and it makes me wonder if the person in front, on the side, or behind me is drunk. I have anxiety about being home alone, but I also psych myself out. I do something, ie, mylot, cooking, cleaning, and have my DH call and check on me when he has a break. I think it is the mind of a person, I do have anxieties, but I somehow, figure out that anxieties can not rule my life.
@apickett (123)
• United States
29 May 11
I'm so sorry that you were in an accident :( I can't stand drunk drivers. UGH. The state I live in has really really toughened DUI laws. I'm glad for that, but sadly people will still drink and drive. Such a shame because if they want to put themselves in harms way, then whatever, but innocent people is who they put in harms way and it isn't fair at all. I think it's awesome that you don't let anxiety rule you..that's wonderful and I applaud you for that! I would love to have at least a tiny ounce of that willpower, or whatever it's called. Thanks for your reply!
@locakai (166)
• United States
29 May 11
I write affirmations to myself. I use post-its, I put one on the steering wheel, It reads, "K. You can do this, I'm God, telling you that I'm with you. You have your cell, you have me...Let go of your worries, anxieties, and believe you can." If I don't have it, I say to myself, you can do this, it would be ok, if you feel like crying pull over, and pray, or meditate. Staying at home, well like I said before, I do something, and have my DH call me to check up. Another thing that might help is to write nightly and daily all the anxieties you have, and write how you will change it, make sure the change is positive. Trust yourself is the first step, the second, is to know your anxieties, and weakness. Choose one, take small steps, and before you know it, the anxieties is less than before. It takes time, be confident, no worries.
@apickett (123)
• United States
29 May 11
That's awesome! Thank you for the suggestion. I will have to try that. I certainly want to overcome these fears that I have so I can start being more independent.
• United States
15 Sep 11
i cant stay home alone either i always have to have some one with me, i have problems going out into public, and really anywhere thats not my house. i have an amazing boyfriend who deals with me and my amazing mother to help me out. they completely understand for the most part and they dont get upset when i cant do something. they stood by me when i had to drop out of school. and when i had to get my ged. they try to never leave me alone. i can drive by myself most of the time but if i feel like its going to be a bad day then i dont attempt to or if i feel like my meds are messing with me too much then i wont.
@apickett (123)
• United States
16 May 12
I know this is an old post and I'm sorry I am just replying to you. I'm also sorry you have anxiety issues as well. It's great that you have understanding people in your life. I have understanding ones in mine as well. I still can not drive alone or stay at home alone but I want to start seeing a counselor soon to try to get over my fears. Hope you are doing well.
@ANIME123 (2473)
• United States
30 May 11
I also have that it is very hard, but you know it's like you have to take one step at a time and move slowly up from there. For me right now my biggest challenge is to drive alone I am really afraid to do that don't really know why, but I am. I guess that I am afraid that I will crash or something along those lines hopefully I can learn to get over that so that I can continue on with my life and not have to depend on others. We all will get over our fears with due time.
@apickett (123)
• United States
31 May 11
Hello, I'm sorry that you have it as well. For me, I am afraid that I will pass out behind the wheel if I am alone. I know that may seem pretty irrational to some people, but it is a valid fear to me. I think you are right, eventually we will probably all get over our fears some how.
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