If a person close to you kept putting you down all the time,

@joystick (1680)
May 29, 2011 8:43pm CST
how would you really feel inside.If the person that was close to you said, go and look in the mirror and all the usual stuff, also bad mouthed you about anything as well as everything, making you sound really hopeless how would it make you feel, as well as how would you feel about the person saying it.I mean what can you really do about it.Also being told that noone likes you and noone wants you.
7 people like this
19 responses
@lajonez (478)
• Poland
30 May 11
omg, that's very paintfull for sure :/ I think nobody could take it, probably I would get depressed, and I would not think about this person as close to me anymore :(
@joystick (1680)
30 May 11
This is something that has been happening to my friend for sometime now and i think that she has had enough.Her partner use to make her feel bad about herself and to get her feeling more positive took some time.She is in torment about this and i will say that i know the last time he done this he had help from his friend keep making her feel like rubbish, this time he is doing it all on his own, well and with him getting the children to say things.
1 person likes this
@lajonez (478)
• Poland
30 May 11
that's really sad how partner can be cruel! and she shouldn't believe him, probably he's the one thinking noone would want him, so he wants to bind her to himself, try to convince her she is the bad one :( she should really consider leaving him and going to psychologist to understand that he is the problem!
@joystick (1680)
13 Jun 11
I feel really sorry for her and i am going to show him what she can feel like again, as in human and not something trodden in.I know that she could do a lot better than the person that she is with, but what i really think it is, is it is a way of normal life to her and she is use to that.
@Masihi (4228)
• Canada
30 May 11
That's how I feel. My husband often makes fun of my looks and laughs at me, and that my ideas are dumb and stupid. I won't ramble on about this stuff, but it hurts down in side. I only wish to be encouraged, to be called sweetheart, to be loved without complaining, that sort of thing. I've never really been loved before, in any relationship. So what do I do? Nothing, I suppose. It's all I really know, and well, I don't know what to say or think.
@Masihi (4228)
• Canada
30 May 11
Yeowch, I just read the comments...well, maybe like my husband her husband is hard-hearted and afraid to open up or something, my husband told me that he'll never give his heart to anyone because he doesn't want to get hurt again because of his childhood. I had a crappy childhood as well, but I *want* to be loved...I, too closed my heart after being hurt and crying by my husband in our dating years and early in our marriage. I guess our past really messes with us...
• United States
30 May 11
I would ignore them!!!!!! I would not listen to such non sense!!! If someone is telling you those things don't listen to them they are not a real friend!! And probably have something wrong with them!!
@joystick (1680)
30 May 11
This is happening to my friend all the time, but it is her husband that is doing this to her.I think what he is trying to do is make her feel worthless, also with him telling people that she is hopeless, has really put the nail in the coffin.I am going to try to get her to come out with me and get her all dolled up and show her that there are people out there that are nice.
@asliah (11148)
• Philippines
19 Jun 11
hi, so sad when i will hear that to my closest person or even to my friends,i could feel the hurt feeling while realizing that words keep remaining to my mind,i dont want to hear that such bad words because i dont know what can i do for that person.
• Southend-On-Sea, England
12 Jun 11
You don't say if this person is a friend or a relative, but for a moment assuming they are a friend, I think they would drop off my Christmas card list very quickly. Whether family or friend it sounds as if this person is either a bully who wants to have power over you because it makes him/her feel good to make you feel bad, or alternatively (and perhaps sometimes these are one and the same thing), it could be that he or she is extremely insecure - possibly jealous of you - wanting you to change so that it gives him or her more attention from other people. If it's your mother....well my mother was a bit like that sometimes when she was in a bad mood. I think it was because she used to go through phases of being very worried about life, money and such things, and that would put her in a negative, depressed mood whereby whatever she looked at, whether it was me or something or someone else, all she could see was the bad side. She wasn't like that all the time though. I think if it was me going through what you are, if it were a friend I'd probably break off the friendship, as friends should accept us as we are and not try to change us. I suppose similar goes for family in that they should accept us as we are, but it's more difficult to break away from a family member than it is a friend. I think I might take another, trusted family member into my confidence and tell them what's being said, how it makes me feel and see what their opinion is. It could be that person might be of help in having a quiet word with the family member who is doing all the putting down and criticising.
@jugsjugs (13045)
4 Jun 11
Well it do demorilise you if you get that all the time, from a person that is supposed to love you.I think that some times people say things that they do not mean, as well as say things in temper, then it is all to late when things are either said or done.
@locakai (166)
• United States
1 Jun 11
Is this a relationship, bf & gf, wife & husband? Or is it a friend, or family? I only ask is because everybody is different. I heard, listen to those things for a while from my sister, and her friends. I just told them that I'm not going to change they can think what they want of me, I just won't acknowledge them in anyway, deleted her friend off my FB, and the only time I talk to my sis, is to tell her she has mail. If its an relationship, then get out. That is abusive, and no one, not even wife should abuse her husband. There are hotlines, to call, I don't have them with me, but you can look them up. And if it is a friend, you don't need them, move on and find someone who loves you for you and not bring you down. No one should hear that stuff. My hubby told me that one time, I'm like, "Uh--really, so you don't want me, God doesn't want me then I just leave and God can hate me, because I want you and God." Or be honest with that person and tell them that it make you feel bad, and you don't like to feel that way. Good Luck.
@free_man (7337)
• United States
31 May 11
Hi Joystick. God created you and you are a special person don't take any bull stand up and tell that person to kiss where the sun don't shine if they don't like you. God gave you and everyone power over all evil in Jesus name Luke 10:18-19. Trust God to guide you pray about it and then whoop their bottom they won't say anything else bad about you. It is pure evil trying to make you feel bad don't take it you are a Christian we don't give ground we take ground. Trust in God and keep the faith you must be doing something right for the devil to try and hurt you. Tell him get behind me satan in the name of the LORD Jesus Christ and he will run from you!
@AmbiePam (49494)
• United States
31 May 11
I would do my very best to cut them out of my life. And if I couldn't completely cut them out of my life I would limit the time I spent with them. I might also speak up and call them on all of the ugly things they say.
@bounce58 (17526)
• Canada
30 May 11
Not to that extent, but I do have one here that keeps putting me down all the time. Like you said, this person is close to me, so I don't have the choice of moving away. So, instead I keep it all bottled inside. Hoping that one day, it would all come to pass, and be realized that given the chance, I am not all that bad.
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
30 May 11
Hi joystick, We must never put another person down and if someone continues to treat you this way, there is no choice but to stop seeing and speaking to them. Everyone of us is important and has lots of abilities if given the chance to develope them. Parents often put down their children which is a form of child abuse and must be treated as such. Blessings.
@vnrsudhan (1514)
• India
30 May 11
Hi joystick, It really depends on who's saying or doing that to me.If it's my parents or other relatives i'd not even consider it.If its my partner,i will feel bad about it,but i'll just let it go,since there will be a good reason as to why she did that.lol,really,call me weird,i'd be really glad about it when my partner gets mad at me,'cause i think it's one way she shows her care and possessiveness,. Happy mylotting!
@Devilova (5396)
• Indonesia
30 May 11
I will prove to whoever that told about such thing to me. That they are making mistake told that to me. Whoever or whatever they are, they don't have a right to told that to me. Even the most close people of mine.
• Philippines
30 May 11
But that is downright cruel and deplorable. I don’t think I would like to have such a negative person as a friend. I have always veered away from negative people as their aura would bear you down and make you feel depressed unnecessarily. I remember one guy who told me that nobody liked me but he said it because I disapproved his request. There are reasons why people say things (good or bad) and it redounds to their own personality, again pleasing or otherwise. Cheers, joystick.
• Philippines
30 May 11
I think that the best thing to do is to keep a distance from this person.A person who always keeps you down doesn't deserve your friendship or companionship at all.We deserve to be respected and to feel good about ourselves; and being close with these kind of people is not a good idea.Maybe he or she can realize you are important to him or her as soon as you will be out of his/her life.
@daiweian06 (1408)
30 May 11
On my opinion you have to be true to yourself. If you feel uncomfortable to that person then show it to her on a nice way. Telling her what you feel inside will make you free on thinking the things you really don't know the answer. Sometimes we just feel negative on the person but on the other side that person is just being honest and don't really mean at all. So better to tell him/ her what you feel inside. Talk to them and voice out your feelings. Then if you really don't want to be with them that would be a sign to find another person to talk about. Good day! God bless!
@bird123 (10501)
• United States
30 May 11
Communication is key in all relationships. Point blank, ask them why they do this. It might be embarrassing to them but they will either have an answer that you both can work out or they will realize what they are doing and stop. If you choose to ignore them, they think nothing is wrong. Since this person is close to you, we should care enough to let them know what they are doing. What greater love can there be??
@celticeagle (118586)
• Boise, Idaho
30 May 11
Well, that is really mean! If I knew the person to be otherwise I would wonder what made them lash out like this. I would want to talk to them and try to get to the bottom of this and see why they chose to be so nasty. I would be very hurt and it might take me a while to get my barrings.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
30 May 11
At first this would probably sadden and depress me. then i would just find it annoying because I don't think that i deserved to be treated that way. I have my good points and my bad points just like everyone else. Having my bad points commented on all of the time is unnnecessary and insulting.