Life is nothing good, please help
May 30, 2011 10:40am CST
I want to do something about my life. The way I am now is caused by an incident when I was in high school. I fell ill and depressed for 10 years already but lately I notice I have no interest to work and enjoy life. I have no one to talk to because once I told mum she was mad saying I am blessed and should not complain and go get a job asap. But I am unable to work under pressure. I told dad and he understand. I have one best friend whom I go out once a week but she is also a depressed one. I want to do well in work and make a good relationship with people. I want to work flexible because I know only this can make mye happy but mom is against me saying I should set a standard since I am a diploma graduate. The question is: 1. How could I jump out of this depressed world and lead a happy life? 2. How can assure mom that I will success in my flexible job?
7 people like this
• United States
3 Jun 11
Sorry to hear about the way you are feeling, and that in turn it makes you feel the way you do. So many times there will be people who are like this, but the Good thing is you are recognizing the symptoms, etc. and want to talk about them out in the open as well. This is a first step and very helpful in many ways for sure. Just from you choosing to want to talk about it, even here, is a thing that could help calm some of your fears, etc. in life as well. I know when it comes to Depression and trying to motivate yourself to want to do other things can be hard. It might mean you having to find a Counselor, etc. who can help you and see if there is a medication or something out there that could end up helping you more as well. Maybe it is just a situation or maybe a unbalance somewhere, in reality sounds like you are wanting more as well. Looking into meds and counseling is not always a solution, but better than doing nothing and allowing it to get worse. My thoughts are Prayers are with you.
• United States
1 Jun 11
Coming from a person that has struggled with some degree of depression throughout my life, I think that one of the most important things that you need to do is to have a therapist that you can talk to. That, in and of itself really does make a huge difference. Additionally, when you are looking for a job, you should be upfront with your potential employers. It might be difficult, but eventually you will find someone to work for that will be sympathetic to your needs.
3 Jun 11
@dorannmwin Maybe I could be upfront with my boss but in many cases of several times, they just ignored and terminate my employment. I feel discouraged and never attempt to try again. This happens for 10 years already. Imagine a working life for depression and disabled people in Malaysia. Could life be better?
31 May 11
Hi Choi Yee, You have to prove to your mom that you have grown up and matured enough to make decision for yourself. Action speaks louder than words. We are living in a competitive & stressful society. We need to work inorder to survive in this world. How you make the best of your job or career is all up to you. Destiny is in your hand. It's all in your mind; if you choose to be depressed, you will always be depressed. If you think positively and share happy moments with others, you will feel good & lighter. Always look at the glass as half full instead of half empty. So learn to be happy & enjoy life while you work. It doesn't matter whether it's a flexible or non-flexible job. Learn to have a work balance life. Once your mom sees the positive change in you; obviously you will get her blessing & trust. Hope that's help...
30 May 11
I noticed that you're really frustrated about what's happening with your mom. You are correct, no one, even your mom, has the right to judge whatever it is you want to do with your life. But there are some things that you need to know when it comes to these matters. For example, do you still live with your parents? If you are, then I have to say that you have to brace yourself for more of this -- parents will always have some form of expectation from their children. I'm not saying that you shouldn't pursue what you want, it's just that this thing with your mom wouldn't go away soon. (Of course, some parents do this just because they think that nagging helps, so always remember that you just have to give your mom some slack too.) I also know that there's a feeling that you want to 'prove' something to the people around you, especially your parents. That's hard, and it's something that all of us have gone through at one point in our lives. My advice? Well, acceptance helps too. Since there will always be that nagging feeling that you have to prove something to people, then just take note of it and continue with whatever you're planning. We will always have our critics -- and our fans, too -- so we should just do whatever we would want to do. Last bit of advice: if you really want to be happy, then you should go and expose yourself to the world. Help people. Give to charity. Make a random person smile. It seems all too wishy-washy, but there's a good bit of scholarly research on it.
10 Jun 11
It's very simple (to say), I think: 1. "How could I jump out of this depressed world and lead a happy life?" - Try to give thanks for everything we have, instead of complaining and feel sorry for ourself because of anything we couldn't have it for now 2. "How can assure mom that I will success in my flexible job?" Just prove it. No other way, I think :) Yes, it's easy to say. And hard to try. But if we don't try it, we'll make it even harder for ourself, right? ^_^
9 Jun 11
Hi choiyee~ If you want to follow your heart you need to be strong and determine~ Forget and let others say what they want to say. Sounds easy to speak than do right?? Yes, because it is hard to do you need the strength and be strong.If you keep complaining and blaming things you will keep it 'alive' and you will do the same thing again and again. If you feel that you can succeed in your own way you need to be strong, patience and bear with it to resist all the bad words from others. You need to believe on yourself first as your words really shows that you are not sure with it and easily give up~ Why don't you try it out??
• United States
8 Jun 11
I think maybe talking to a councellor might help you understand just why you are depressed and things you can do to feel better about yourself and your life. You seem to worry a lot about your mom's opinions and it sounds as if you feel you need to live up to her expectations for you. I'm sure she only wants what is best for you but really in the end, the work you do and how you live your life is entirely up to you. Your job should be something that you like to do. You are young and you have your whole life ahead of you and you can try different things. If you get into a job that you don't like then you can just look for another one. I am not one to stay depressed for long so maybe I don't really understand. I do know that when I am feeling sad or upset that it is a sign that I need to do something different in my life. I think if you look around that there are plenty of jobs that have flexible hours or at least hours that change up from week to week.
1 Jun 11
Hi! I think your depression is not too bad, as long as you can socialized, you will find that to get into a normal life is not that difficult. Try to find some motivation books and you will find that life is actually wonderful and meaningful, you can actually try to handle the work pressure slowly and not to press yourself too hard, you can set some simple target at the beginning and when you achieved that, set another slightly higher target and make yourself to achieve it, in that way, when everytime you achieved you target, you will find yourself be more confident and when you have more confident, you will be able to achieve something more difficult and until you totally gain back your confident. I am not really sure what you mention here about your flexible job, but if you can actually show some results to your mom, I believe that she will also support your decision. The most important is you must first gain your confident.
31 May 11
Parents are always at our side ready to support no matter what. Your Mom's nagging or pushing you to look for a job is her way to tell you to go out there and explore the world, meet and talk to people instead of hiding in your shell.She is just trying to help you, because deep inside she is hurt seeing you in that situation.Go out, join a club, choir or have a hobby to keep you busy and ask God for guidance too. You could talk to your Mom or make a deal with her to let you work in flexible job and if it doesn't work than you would follow her advice to look for a regular one.Always think on the positive side. life is wonderful
• United Kingdom
31 May 11
This sounds like quite a difficult situation for you! I have been depressed myself and there are still days that I get a little down. Like you I'm not too keen on pressure and stress, I find these two things very difficult to cope with. I think the best place to start for you would be to see some kind of counsellor! There's nothing wrong with this and it can help towards your recovery and growth. I remember seeing a counsellor myself and I found her very helpful. All I can really say is follow your heart as generally it's always right and you know inside what you really want. I really wish you well. Andrew
31 May 11
Hi choiyee Your mom is correct, you are blessed in a way. You have you a family who cares for you, especially your dad who understands you. To get out of your depression, you need to open up yourself and not stay in your shell forever. Go out, mix around, get to know people and start building a good relationship with people. And most importantly is to seek God for help and comfort cause He is always there whenever you need Him. You can assure your mom of your success by working hard and showing her that you can do well in your flexible job. Never give up, just keep doing until you succeed one day. Then your mom will be proud of you.
31 May 11
Hello!How happy life,different people have different explanation.But I'll tell you,the most important is to should be confident,must be brave and believe that "inherent my material needs useful".Go out and find a suitable work earnestly,down-to-earth and do his work.So,over time,you'll experience life bring you happiness.Bless you!
• United States
31 May 11
Hi Wongchoiyee. You want peace and happiness in your life? Turn your life over to God and let HIM be your guide in this life. http://www.shepherdschapel.com/index.htm Go listen to this man and he will teach you the truth about Gods word and your life will turn a 360 degree around and you will see the changes. I know I was always depressed when I was with my ex husband and I hate myself. I started listening to the true word of God and everything changed. I became a better person and met a great man that I married and have a pretty good life now. And it is all because I started listening to that man to make my ex mad. He woke me up at one am then went back to bed and told me to stay up and wake him up in a few hours so he could go to work. I found that Teacher of Gods word and turned it up loud so my ex could hear it and I started listening and now we listen to him every day. God sent me a great man after this. Now my life is mostly happy all the time.
30 May 11
We have to remember that there are still people who support and can encourage. With the help of relatives we can rely on, hope and belief, we could learn about the things that make us glad. I had a job that at the end made me feel depressed because of the acting director. It made me scared to search fro some other job. There should be chance to work as a self-employed person, maybe to be a contractor.
30 May 11
Work at what you enjoy and thats the way to success. make new friends and most importantly go and seek help from a psychologist for your depression. Your past seems to be bugging you too much, mine did too. and I took professional help and I am fine now. you know all through high school I felt I was not good in Maths, recently I learned that our teacher used to take money for passing the students in the exam, this really put a different perspective on things doesn't it. May be all these years while I was struggling and accepting that I was no good was not entirely my fault. Find out and share what you experienced in high school it will help you too.
30 May 11
first of all, if your best friend is depressed, you're bound to feel like that too. you two should try work things out together. if you can't solve these problems yourself, one will do that for the other and viceversa. trust me, i know how it is to be depressed and i still have no idea how i got out of that state, it happens and you might not even realise it at that point. thing is, even though you say you don't have any interest in enjoying life, you really should try doing something you like, cause i assume you do have hobbies. make your mind and soul remember that you DO like doing certain things. but before you do all this, you should really first solve the problem that got you here in the first place. after you'll solve it, there's no reason why you should keep being depressed cause the problem is gone. and your mom can be assured you can success at that job by proving her you can. talk to her, let her know that you'll work at a flexible job for a while, show her you're able to succeed there. don't just give her words, she has to see it happen before she can actually believe it
30 May 11
So sad to hear you are in that kind of solitude. I understand your mom when she says you are blessed because it is indeed true. You are blessed because you recovered from that illness unlike other people who always wanted to get well. Get out from your old shell. Convince yourself that you are now able to do things on your own. Look for other people who might be a big help for you. Try to look for someone who can understand you and might help you boost your self esteem. As much as possible, stay away from people who are also depressed just like you since they might be less helpful compared to those people who are living somewhat a happy life. Try to open your doors to happy situations around. Don't just stay at one corner and wait for someone to rescue you, rescue your own self. If you want to work, assess yourself and decide which kind of work will make you happy not what will make your mom happy. At this point, you must think of yourself self and I am sure that once your mom will see that you are doing well then she will be more than happy for you. Show her that you can live a normal life again. Away from stress and depress. Good luck my friend..
30 May 11
1.do you have any hobbies?doing someting which you have passion for may help.i love playing the violin and everytime i do so i'll feel relaxed no matter how awful i've been feeling.try to look the bright side of life.there're so many pleasant things happening every single day. 2.does a comprise work?you could persuade you mother to let you have a try this month.if you can show that flexible work just turns out quite suitable for you,i think you mom will understand and support you. best wishes!