I need to get over the father of my son

Kenya
June 2, 2011 9:13am CST
I met the father of my son five years ago.those where the best years of my life until i got pregnant and gave birth to our son.since then we fight over everything.he has changed a lot and all i wanted from him was the wonderful man i fell in love with.now i am so tired of the pain and the anger and i ended it.but i have come to realize that no matter what i do he will still be a part of my life because of my son and because i am still in love with him.i need stability in my life right now and that is why i have to get over him.
1 person likes this
7 responses
@jacklintan (1302)
• Malaysia
3 Jun 11
Dear leegumz, you're loving the imaginary man, and the "real" him. Either, it's you, the problematic person OR it's him, OR both, just can't get along.
1 person likes this
@kramsgir (146)
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
Just give him some time. Guys usually get matured later than girls. Maybe he needs an ample of time to sort things out. Good lUCK! and just focus on your son.
1 person likes this
@edb225112 (125)
• United States
2 Jun 11
What you don't talk about is what caused the change in the father of your son. Did the change in him happen suddenly or did the change come during the pregancy? My guess would be that once the child was born, the man felt he was not an important part of your life. Mothers do focus on the child and a father can feel he is no longer needed. He may be angry and not even know why. A child changes the way a man and a woman relate to each other. How do you see the father's relationship with his son? You do say, my son not our son. Being a father is a hard role to take up if the mother doesn't have a good view of what that role should be. Men need to feel they are still needed in a loving way and not just a paycheck. You need to sit down with someone and find out what is causing the anger. It is not good for the child. Get some professional help before this anger has a negitive effect on the child.
• Philippines
2 Jun 11
Give it time and you'll get over it. You can focus your attention to your son and work to provide for the both of you. You need to be strong for you and your son. :)
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@meticulo (1286)
• United States
2 Jun 11
hi leegumz! I can feel that you are in a difficult situation now. It's really hard to get over with someone especially that you have a son with him. If you are a believer in God, I guess it's time for you to ask His mercy to pour on you since this is a very hard thing to do. Always remember, if everything else fails, God is the only refuge. Pray that you will eventually get over with this man. It will take days, weeks, months or worst years but I hope you persevere because this is what you wanted to do. You will surely meet him along the way because your son needs his presence too in his life. So try to be civil and move on with your life. Thanks!
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Jun 11
Only time and space will give you this. take your son to the park and met new people. Walk around the mall and have lunch. Take yourself out of your normal routine and you will soon have space and time. I was like this over my ex but it was this time ans space that did it for me. I am forever in a better place now. I hope your feeling better soon. Take care.
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@mythociate (15964)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
1 Sep 12
You are 'the father' of Jesus Christ's "Prodigal Son"-parable (in which your ex is 'the prodigal son'). As he left with what is due to him, you can consider him 'passed away' (and I'm sure you try to keep any contact with him because of your son to a minimum anyway). If he should return as the man you fell in love with, I'm sure you'll have no trouble restoring him to his former position. If not, you can do as my mom did (after divorcing my dad, her husband of 20-something years): focus on your work and on your son and on any grandchildren. And yes, she still loves him too. But--as guru Sting says--"If you love someone, set them free." Dad's caged life was too painful, and he just had to fly free