Love knows no age?

India
June 4, 2011 4:31am CST
Friends, 'cougar' relationship is a new phrase catching up the news these days. It refers to a relationship where a woman is romantically involved with a much younger man and it was the theme of the 2009 super hit film 'Wake Up Sid'. Audiences loved watching Ranbir Kapoor falling in love with the older Konkona Sen Sharma and even thronged the theatres for it. This trend is not so uncommon in India. It has been around for some time now. Somebody has very rightly said love knows no age. The dynamics of marriage are changing rapidly and youngsters are experimenting with their lives. The phenomenon, whether people like it or not, is increasingly coming out in the open. In the past too, such relationships existed but were not talked about too much. Way back in 1967, Hollywood came out with its well-known classic 'The Graduate', where Anne Bancroft, an older woman, seduces a much younger man, played by Dustin Hoffman. And such experiments were not restricted to the celluloid. Quite a few Hollywood celebrities have had successful 'cougar' marriages and the recent example is Demi Moore who has enjoyed marital bliss with 15-year younger actor Ashton Kutcher. Other such couples are Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins (12-year age gap), Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon (10-year age gap). Even pop diva Madonna, known for her experimental looks, tried it when she tied the knot with 10-year younger Guy Ritchie. But they separated. In India, the most publicized cougar couple was Saif Ali Khan who married Amrita Singh way back in 1991. She was 12 years older to him. Their marriage had raised a lot of eyebrows, with people questioning the compatibility and the big age-gap, but it lasted a good 12 years. In 2004 they got divorced. Even master blaster Sachin Tendulkar's wife Anjali Tendulkar is five years older to him whereas Bollywood actress Manisha Koirala has married seven years younger Samrat Dahal and choreographer-turned-director Farah Khan exchanged vows with eight-year younger Shirish Kunder. The age difference of a year or two doesn't even qualify for the term 'cougar', and there are many examples of such couples in the Hindi film industry - Bollywood actors like Aishwarya Rai and Shilpa Shetty have respectively married Abhishek Bachchan and Raj Kundra who are two years younger to them. Even legendary actress Nargis was a year older to her actor husband Sunil Dutt. Sometimes such marriages are seen by society as an attempt by a woman to have some fun in her life or by someone who wants to tame her partner and can do so by marrying a younger man. This psyche was beautifully portrayed by director Ajay Sinha in the popular television serial 'Astitva - Ek Prem Kahani', about a young photographer marrying a doctor who's 10 years older to him. Just as a woman would look for a father figure or fulfill her needs for protection in an older man, a man would look for a mother figure or fulfill his needs for tender care and love in an older woman. Moreover, a drastic shift in the financial status has made today's women independent and they enjoy the power to pick and choose their partners without worrying about age, money and caste. Women today, just like the men, are experimenting and are also sure enough of them to take such chances. In this whole discussion, we must not make it a feminist thing as it is as much a woman's choice as a man's. The younger man is also, at the same time, taking the decision to marry an older woman. DATA COLLECTED FROM YAHOONEWS. Here in our family, wife is generally younger than the husband; my wife is 7 years junior to me.So also my daughter in law, daughter are. [b]What about you and your place? Is cougar relationship common there? Please respond and share your valued opinion. Thanks in advance.[/b] Professor ‘*Bhuwan*’. . Cheers have a lucky day ahead.
2 people like this
21 responses
• United States
5 Jun 11
Hi Professor I so believe love has no age, so as long as the couple together are mature enough to withstand and honor the marriage as it is suppose to be done. I would not say in my culture it is common but am sure there are a few that yes do engage in cougar type relationships and or marriages. The one I do know of has been happily married now for almost 25 years. She was 32 and he was 18 at the time but a very mature 18 year old. Though many of us doubted the validity as it was odd to us to see her with such a young man. But they have proven our doubts to be wrong as they have been living in a wonderful and happy marriage this whole time.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Jun 11
Heyya HWG! There's that "prime thing" that I mentioned in my response. I was kinda thinking that maybe the relationships that are coming about with older women and younger guys are maybe based on the times when we, as males and females, hit our primes. There is quite an offset in that timeframe. Your friend would have been in hers and the young man just hitting his...hmmm...interesting. I am with you...if they are happy..hugs to them.
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
5 Jun 11
Agree~ here there is celebrity who is 30 something with 3 children if I am not mistaken and married to 20 years old man. It is great to hear such young guy ready to hold the responsibility as a father to 3 children. Hard to find this type~ My sister is 30+ and she is single yet many young guys are trying to make her as their girlfriend.
• United States
5 Jun 11
It is always wise in my opinion to wait and or be patient as getting married is a big step, so when the time is right for her she may.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
5 Jun 11
It is becoming more common here and accepted. There are still those circles that ridicule people for such things, but the truth is, that as long as the couple are happy...who cares? I think everyone deserves to be happy and if it happens to be with someone a bit younger then so be it. I think you bring up a great point about women being able to pick and choose. To experiment a bit with their lives. I wonder if the "primes" of our male and female lives have a little something to do with it too. Women wait until they are in their 30's and men are usually in their 20's..that is about the age gap we are seeing.
• United States
5 Jun 11
Though I have not been in this type of relationship, my personal thinking in the "cougar" cases is that so as long as the younger man is responsible and mature enough, there should not be a problem. The only time I foresee an issue is when the younger guy is way too immature and well then the "cougar" may have to help raise the younger guy. lol
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
5 Jun 11
Helping and raising her husband??? That sounds....hehehe... But honestly most of the guy who married to older women looks really immature to me. Yet I just look at it so I don't know, perhaps he is a responsible and mature man!Geeee~
@blue65packer (11835)
• United States
4 Jun 11
Here we have all types! We have the cougers! We have the couples were the woman is only by like a few months older. My oldest nephews wives are older then they are. One is 2 months older and the other is 5 months older. When my parents were married, My mom was 2 years older then my dad. Most couples I know are the same age or the wife is a few years younger then the husband. Then once in awhile you hear of a guy marring a very young woman like in her teens and he is in his forties! Then once in awhile you here of a woman,like in her twenties,who marries a rich guy in their 80's! That usaully means she is out for his money and not in it for love! Cougers are coming more popular and if I cared to date agian,I would be one! LOL!
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
5 Jun 11
Owh, blue is planning to be the future cougar!
@devijay78 (1575)
• India
7 Jun 11
Hello professor. I do know some people in real life who have marriages like this, older woman - younger man. And till now they seem to be happy and have not had any ego problems. As far as marriages are concerned, I guess it depends on the persons involved and their willingness to work things out.
• United States
7 Jun 11
We have that all of the time where I live in California. Women where I live are always dating and marrying men who are no where near their own age. I am dating a man that is four years younger than me. Do I care? No way! If I cared, then I wouldn't be dating him. Also, that caste system is SO 12th Century! Who the heck gets married for money and possessions nowadays? People should marry for love, not because someone is rich and has money. I could never marry a man that I didn't love. I would probably end up fighting him everyday if I did marry for money, not to mention that we would probably want to beat the living tar out of each other. I am too outspoken for most men to handle. That's way my boyfriend loves me so much because I don't hold back and I am willing to say what is on my mind. I don't feel that anyone should be silenced or told what to do in a relationship. Marriage and relationships should be about love, compromising, and forming a bond that can't be broken. If women want to date younger men, then that is our right. We shouldn't be told who to date or marry, and we shouldn't be told how to live our lives.
@aerous (13474)
• Philippines
6 Jun 11
Well, I don't comment on the content of our article friend. I just started on the title of the article. I have no idea about it because not watching the film... In my opinion. Age doesn't matter if we consider those relationship love. Because love is not choose who is involve into it...love is every where and we can feel it any times when we see someone who is catch up our affection...
@twistzao (72)
• Portugal
6 Jun 11
Meh, I don't see that cougar relationship much here. Sure, once in a while, 10 years difference at most... The rest is just about 5-6 years older. Not big differences much. Portugal all the way! We do have a lot of cougar "fun" .
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
5 Jun 11
hi Prof. Here ladies with older man or guys with older women is common as well. It is no surprised to see those couples and their relationship with marriage. I am okay with it. Even if some people might feel disagree towards the issue I don't think it is wrong to married someone who is older than us. Yet there are still people who likes to search for the same age or younger couple.
@didi13 (2927)
• Romania
5 Jun 11
So says a word old, and where there is love, not even the age difference matters. Love knows no age limits, and love has no mirror to see our faces in it, you'll see wrinkles or gray hair. Love lives through heart and soul feels, loves and can not be seen only by love itself! When we fall in love first love to the soul of the person next to us, the way we look, where we smile, the way we talk, the way that makes us feel. We love that twinkle in the eyes of loved ones, the laughter that fills our life and soul of joy, we love everything that person. In Calvin's Geneva - XVI century - it was illegal to be officiated a marriage if the age difference was more than 10 years. One reason was the disproportion of power relations. Young wife was similar to an ornament. And psychologists say that the difference allowed is 10 years. But important is the environment in which the partners have lived until they met, they each have values ??and must not be diametrically opposed. For the older it is important not to feel exhausted, deprived of many things that can give your partner. If in a relationship both partners are different, as concepts, ideals, hobbies, that relationship will not last too long. If we talk about love, any differences appear dimmed in the eyes of subjects, hence the "blind love", but the firm noted. And maybe, and they will notice when the feeling will disappear.
@krieyszel (330)
• Philippines
5 Jun 11
As the saying goes like this, age doesn't matter and it's really true. Love doesn't choose but it leads to what a heart dictates and feels. Age it's not the matter as long as the love that a two person had, it true and genuine.
• Portugal
4 Jun 11
Hi mylotter, in my opinion, love have no age! yeah, normally man is older than a woman, but i think when we fall in love, never mind how old, you know...
@gamma9967 (607)
• India
4 Jun 11
yes love does not know age and i have seen a lot of examples relating to this ,the famous one is the founder of playboy who is 84 or something got married to a 24year girl and so many else.Love is an internal feeling and it is blind so age being the factor is not a possibility.
@tigeraunt (6331)
• Philippines
4 Jun 11
hello professor, this is older women to younger men.. i dont see anything wrong at all. as long as the woman will not be the family bread winner. that will be very different from my eyes. the woman has to be loved like how the young man would love a much younger woman, cared for, be proud of, and be loved like a wife should be loved. that is the thing needed for the right chemistry. a society seems to be very judgmental but i guess when you love, age would not matter. have a nice day. ann
@BambiDee (114)
4 Jun 11
true... love knows no age... I have an uncle who's in a relationship with a girl who's as young to be his daughter. It only proves how love really moves in mysterious ways...:)
@vandana7 (67618)
• India
4 Jun 11
I read that one. :) In a way in our society it should be followed because we have such nasty customs relating to widows. On the other hand, with divorces becoming so common place, it is rather risky for older women.
@surekharathi (14134)
• India
4 Jun 11
This is right sir love can not see the age, the money, the beauty. In any age person can fall in love. I think the God is also ready for this so they meet those type of persons to each other. Sachin's wife is also younger than sachin.
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
4 Jun 11
Hi Professor, I'm not familiar with the term cougar relationship but I agree that love knows no age. When I was growing up, it was very rare to find a man married to an older woman, but the man was often much older than the woman. My own father was seventeen years older than my mother and although such an age difference was unusual, a difference of ten years wasn't. Today I find that the opposite is often true. Two of my three sons are married to women some ten years older than themselves. My youngest son's wife is three years older than him. I see nothing wrong either way as my parents were very happy together, and my sons and their partners seem to be doing OK. Blessings.
• Philippines
4 Jun 11
love is boundless and breaks bounds...even age difference. follow your heart no matter how at odds it is your desire against the world. your heart knows best, it will never fail it can only prevail.
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
4 Jun 11
The "cougar" concept is popular here in the U.S. but I don't think the practice is that widespread. It is mostly something that the movies and TV use to titillate the audience and rake in money. I don't like the idea of older women preying on young men, especially when those women are married or single with children. I don't know why but it is just a bit disgusting to me.
• Philippines
4 Jun 11
Yes, love does knows no age...some women in my family married younger men but the biggest gap is only 5 years...but here in my country most people still feel that the age difference matters a lot, I'm not one of them though because really, if it makes them happy, who are we to stop their joy?