My little daughter : "Who you like first, me or dad?"
By besthope44
@besthope44 (12123)
India
June 6, 2011 10:59am CST
This is strange when my little daughter interrupted my work with her doubt today. She suddenly raised this question of whom i like first or who is my priority. I replied both of you are important. She keeps pondering me to tell one name. I was afraid if i have to hurt her answering only one person and of course its her dad!. "I said i don't know the answer, i love both and both of you are first!". She then replied that When she asked same question to her dad today, he said its mom! Because without mom he would not have been gifted with the little angel. I was so moved to know that my hubby handles the kid very well than me and his love for us!
If you are in my position, what will you answer the kid. Will you tell honestly or will you lie to make sure she is not hurted? Who will be your priority..tough question though!!
5 responses
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
6 Jun 11
This is an oft repeated question in our house. I will go with the answer "I like both". However the way your husband has handled is also nice. this only proves there cannot be definite answers in certain situations. This is one such situation. I think I child will feel happy when it is told that I like you or both. opinions differ. have a good day.
1 person likes this
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
7 Jun 11
Hi Ravisivan, True. Its tough to say a single name and she is so little, it can hurt her easily. And true, opinion differs on the situation. My hubby handles any situation with kids and for the kids, he is the super hero!
@ravisivan (14079)
• India
7 Jun 11
excellent ! I agree with you. U know the children, ur husband knows the children and things go on very well. have a good day.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
7 Jun 11
You are right. May be when she grows up, I can tell her honestly its dad. By then she will understand the love of mom for her dad! Cheers!
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
6 Jun 11
Hi besthope 
Although it was easier for me as my children would ask me who like better me or my brother. Of course I loved them equally but was always able to get away with saying to my daughter, you are my favorite daughter in the whole wide world. To my son I would say, you are my favorite son in the whole wide world. The smarties use to say to me each, but mom I am your only daughter and I would say, yeah but my favorite in the entire world.
I perhaps will suggest that when she says mom "who you like first, me or dad?" that you say, you are my favorite daughter in the whole wide world. There is no other special daughter like you. If she says but mom, I am your only daughter that you say, yeah but you are so special because you are my favorite girl in the whole wide world. Being that I love so many see how special you are.
If she says yeah but how about dad? The you say he is my favorite dad in the whole wide world and he cannot be a girl, see how special you are. lol That will make her smile besthope it worked for me all the time.
Although it was easier for me as my children would ask me who like better me or my brother. Of course I loved them equally but was always able to get away with saying to my daughter, you are my favorite daughter in the whole wide world. To my son I would say, you are my favorite son in the whole wide world. The smarties use to say to me each, but mom I am your only daughter and I would say, yeah but my favorite in the entire world.
I perhaps will suggest that when she says mom "who you like first, me or dad?" that you say, you are my favorite daughter in the whole wide world. There is no other special daughter like you. If she says but mom, I am your only daughter that you say, yeah but you are so special because you are my favorite girl in the whole wide world. Being that I love so many see how special you are.
If she says yeah but how about dad? The you say he is my favorite dad in the whole wide world and he cannot be a girl, see how special you are. lol That will make her smile besthope it worked for me all the time.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
7 Jun 11
Hi HWG, Thats a smart answer and it reflects the true love perfectly. I appreciate it. By answering your way, i can feel no one would be hurted and we dont need to lie.
You would be a great mom! Hats off!!
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
7 Jun 11
I think I would just say both and leave it a that. I would not want to hurt her either or make her feel like you are having to make a choice.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
7 Jun 11
Hi Stephcjh, You are right, thats the best way to make little one feel happy and hurtless. I do wonder, where these kids learn to ask such questions.lol.
@purplealabaster (22094)
• United States
6 Jun 11
That is a very difficult question and a tough situation to be placed in, but I think that you both handled it very well, even though you gave different answers.
I do not remember my girls ever asking that question, but I would not lie to make sure that their feelings were not hurt. I would not have to lie, because my girls are my priority, although their fathers are also a priority. We made a discussion a long time ago that if we were placed in a life-threatening situation, then we would take care of the children first and then worry about the other parent. We did this because we are adults and can take care of ourselves better. The children depend upon us, so they need our help more. We brought them into this world, and it is our job to protect them with our own life if necessary. I know that some people do not think this way, and that is their right, but that is how I feel.
I do not remember my girls ever asking that question, but I would not lie to make sure that their feelings were not hurt. I would not have to lie, because my girls are my priority, although their fathers are also a priority. We made a discussion a long time ago that if we were placed in a life-threatening situation, then we would take care of the children first and then worry about the other parent. We did this because we are adults and can take care of ourselves better. The children depend upon us, so they need our help more. We brought them into this world, and it is our job to protect them with our own life if necessary. I know that some people do not think this way, and that is their right, but that is how I feel.1 person likes this
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
7 Jun 11
Hi Purplealabaster, You are right, its a difficult question to answer which eye is important. Its so nice to hear of how you decided to take care of kids, its so great of you both!
When we both were in love, he use to ask me that the love for him will decrease after kids. I said even if i had 10 kids, first would be him. One main reason, for me he is my first kid and love! And his gift for me is the little angel. So difficult to answer one and hurt her feelings.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
7 Jun 11
Hi Samkat, True, I was quite silent for sometime how to answer her. Will my words hurt her and she may feel in-secured. Moreover she is bit sensitive and she reminds these words in every task i do. So when she grows up and ask this question, I will definitely answer her the truth. She will understand my love for her dad!
