Why our child sometimes do not listen to us?

Philippines
June 11, 2011 12:46pm CST
I have a 5 years old little girl. When she was 4 years old I starting teach her to write her name or any letters to be familiarize to her. But everytime I told her to write this or let her follow me sound the letter she refused. But one day, she was in our fried's house, my friend taught her to write the letter she immediately followed her. I thought to myself that maybe I have something wrong with my teaching or maybe she was afraid to my friend. What do you think?
4 responses
@sweet_pea (3326)
• Philippines
13 Jun 11
Before you expect your child to listen to you, you should learn how to listen to your child. If a child feels she is not being heard she is more likely to whine, shout or throw tantrums to get your attention. When you talk to your child, give your full attention, stop what you are doing, get down to your child's height , make eye contact and listen to what she is saying. How you say it is also important as what you have to say. If possible use encouraging positive tone. Use a lower authoritative tone when you disapprove,but don't shout. Avoid nagging. Ask once nicely, once firmly and then take action. If you continuously repeat yourself before you take action, your child may just ignore your initial requests. Avoid accusing (“you never listen!”), criticizing (“you’re so lazy”), or threatening (“if you don’t hurry up, then I’ll leave without you”). Use the “when ... then” technique to focus your child on what needs to get done. “When you’ve brushed your teeth, then I’ll read you a story." Praise and reward cooperation. Let them know you appreciate when you listen to them.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Jun 11
Very good idea. I would like to try this. Maybe I am more into nagging and scolding when my child can't get right away what I want. Yes, that accusing? many are victims of that because they think, this would help their kids to obey. Good ideas.
@sweet_pea (3326)
• Philippines
20 Jun 11
Thanks for the BR. The when and then technique always works for me. Just be creative and have more patience with your child.
@Bebs08 (10689)
• United States
12 Jun 11
Most kids obey other people than their parents specially when it comes to doing something. This is because of over familiarity. Even parents who are teachers, their own children wouldn't follow them when they teach them because the kids believe more than their own teacher in the classroom than their parents at home. I have one student before, her mother was a teacher but she doesn't believe what her mother told her because she believe her teacher more than her mother.. the mother said that she is also a teacher and she knows about it.. but the kid reasoned and said.... " you are not a teacher in my grade.. you are a grade 2 teacher and I am now in grade 4. "This means, they know their parents too much.. very well familiar.. that is the reason why.. But this also depends upon how you motivate the kid to learn. You must be creative, do an interesting presentation which would make the her interested to do it.
• Philippines
12 Jun 11
Ah... that is why they believe in other people than their own parents, hahaha... So what can you suggest about this matter?
@Bebs08 (10689)
• United States
12 Jun 11
You must be firmed in all your dealings with your kid. Let them understand that you know what you are talking about and that you mean business. If you said no, ti will never becomes yes. Some parents are not firmed.. they said no, and then it will become yes in a few minutes.. The kids will lost respect with that kind of dealings. As a parent or adult, you should be consistent to what to say. When I was teaching, the kids really mark my words because when I said things, it will really happen and that they are careful not to disobey. Some kids really tried,, to find out if something will happen well, they get what they want.. then I will ask them why this has happen? they are the once who tell it to me in detailed.. they knew why... because they dis obey. I don't need to repeat it to them.. I just ask them why and they are the once who tell me about it. I am not scolding or repeating things to them... because there was an instruction from the start.. they are the ones who remembered it and promise not to do it again because they don't like the consequence. My no is no...and they remember that.
1 person likes this
@masang (295)
• Philippines
13 Jun 11
Change your strategy. Apply strategies like games to make it appealing to your child. Be gentle enough to your child and be patient.
• Philippines
17 Jun 11
that's a good one too?
• Philippines
16 Jul 11
there are times that they are trying to test us their parents, but they are actually want that.