Age to have children

Canada
June 12, 2011 7:44pm CST
Hi everyone, At what age is it most suggested to have children? I always believed that if you feel financially stable, it is the perfect time to have children, and not just when you feel in "love". Children must have the resources to survive right? That is why I have always been in favor of having children when financially stable. At what age did you have your first child? and how did you feel about it? Did it add certain stress? If not financially stable by 100%, at what age do you feel people should have children (socially and mentally mature wise)? thanks.
1 person likes this
17 responses
@angelo315 (232)
• Philippines
13 Jun 11
At the age of 29, I gave birth to a healthy 7 pound baby angelo. I think it is the time I am emotionally, socially, spiritually, physically and financially ready. In my own opinion, there is no best age to have a baby, but we should consider the age of majority. It really depends on the maturity of the person involved. If you are matured enough, then I believe you are ready to have kid/ kids. :)
1 person likes this
• Canada
13 Jun 11
That is wonderful, and congratulations of course! Yea, it depends on the maturity level of people. It can result to many disastrous situation for you, and especially for the child. If you are not mature enough for children. Many are easily fooled, but people have to be able to give their children as much attention when possible. Thank you very much for your post.
• Vietnam
13 Jun 11
I had my first baby at the age of 29. Now, i have two angels. I really feel happy.
• Philippines
13 Jun 11
My baby is now 3 months. I think I am matured enough to face the responsibilities of motherhood. There are lots of sacrifices, lots of changes in lifestyle.... to include physical appearance (I have three kilos to shed). But these sacrifices are nothing compared to the happiness that our bundle of joy gave us. I am happy being a mom...it's a fulfilling experience. :)
• Philippines
13 Jun 11
I got married at age 33. Conceived at age 34. Had a child at age 35. And I admit that it is a BIG RESPONSIBILITY and definitely not just a "walk-in-the-park" kind of thing. It is really hard work to be able to nurture and nourish a child physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I believe that it is not a question of age, but more about whether or not you are physically, emotionally, and yes, financially ready (all at the same time) to have a child and take responsibility for his/her life and future.
1 person likes this
• Canada
15 Jun 11
I agree, though I can only imagine that it is a huge responsibility. But I absolutely agree that it is. You are pretty much required to offer 100% of your time to your child without questions. I also agree that it is not 100% based on age, however I believe people tend to develop mindsets much better when they are at proper age. They may need to develop more in order to meet the requirements you listen. But yes, if they do meet the requirements you listed and they feel that they are ready, then they are perfectly fit to become a parent. Thanks for your thoughts.
• Philippines
17 Jun 11
You're welcome! Sure thing! I just figured that if I STILL FIND IT HARD having a kid and raising him or her, AT MY AGE and WILLINGNESS...then what more people those younger than I am who still have a hard time committing to their promises, jobs, projects, etc.? It's a great discussion by the way! :)
• United States
13 Jun 11
I haven't had kids yet, but I think once you've established a career and have a home big enough and the means to take care of them it is the right time. A lot of people will call couples in their thirties with no kids selfish. I don't understand that seeing as either they aren't ready to have kids or don't think they're there financially. However when people have "accidents" and end up not being able to provide for the children, is quite a travesty. I'm roughly guessing that I can have kids when I'm 28 or older.
1 person likes this
• Finland
25 Jul 11
Should be mature enough to know that to have a child is big responsibility. Its not like you have baby then she or he will play, do things by them self and you just relax feet up on wall. I'm 27 years old and have 2 child, one 3 years and other almost year and new baby on the way. The best age i think it would be over 20 years for woman to have baby, then hopefully she is mature enough. Also money is big factor in having children, if you cant afford it, shouldn't plan it. There is so many teen moms now days i have no idea how they manage them life. Teen mom means kind of also that no education. After high school everything just stops. Very rarely woman they can go for better education same time having baby at home.
@jazzyrae (1747)
• United States
29 Jul 11
I'm not a teen mom but I find what you say ridiculous. I have a friend who got prego at 16 she's married making 70,000 a year. Some girls are traditional and don't want higher education they want to get married and settle. It's better than sleeping around till 25 till you decide to grow up. Newsflash women were created to stay home take care of thechilldren and have them and get married. That's a fact it's in the bible
@trina89 (16)
• United States
13 Jun 11
i am 21 and just had my first baby 3 months ago. being finicaly stably is good, but i will say that me and my husband do have credit card bills and loans, but we decided together that we wanted to have a baby. so finances do play a role, but all in all to put an age on the right age to have your first child you cant really do, the best age is when you and your significant other believe it is the right time, and plus whenever you decide your ready to have a baby you still have at least 9 months to prepare and be finicially set, which is plenty of time to get your money straight. I child is a wonderful thing!!!!!!!!
• Canada
15 Jun 11
Congratulations on your first baby! Yours and your partners decision and understanding for each other is always key to raise a child i believe. If the relationship and bond between the parents are strong, the bonds between the parents and the child is stronger. I congratulate you and your husband once more and thanks for your thoughts.
• Jacksonville, Florida
13 Jun 11
I feel that it is a part financial stablility and also at peace with yourself and in a strong committed relationship. I feel that if it's something you cannot stop thinking and dreaming about then your ready. I had children young and I am glad I did. Their all close in age and I will still be able to play with them when they get a little bit older. =)
• Canada
15 Jun 11
I agree, in addition to financial stability that you should be at peace with your self and be strongly committed to your partner. This will develop into a strong relationship that is best for your child. I congratulate you on your success, and i thank you very much for your thoughts.
• Philippines
13 Jun 11
for me, the right age for having children is when you reach the maturity of mind. Means that you are stable in all matters, because if you are not matured enough your children will grow in a wrong manner. having a children was not easy as playing dota. it's a serious matter that the couple must talk with.
• Canada
15 Jun 11
Ha ha, it is absolutely nothing like DOTA. I agree, both partners must communicate about their decision and situation. There has to be a checklist that both partners must meet before deciding to have a child. This includes stability in the manners of, financial, physical, mental, and perhaps time. As you are required to offer time for them. Thanks for your post.
@nezavisima (7419)
• Bulgaria
13 Jun 11
I think there is no age at which you become a parent. It is very important to feel ready for this step to have a family home and children. I have two children they were twins I got pregnant at 21 years.I can say that I am financially stable but there are always children. So when you want to have children all depends on you.
• Canada
15 Jun 11
Congratulations on your twins ^-^. I agree, feeling ready is very important. Thank you very much for your thoughts.
• Philippines
13 Jun 11
Although I do believe that starting to raise a child needs to have a good amount of financial resources to back it up... the psychological maturity of the married couple would weigh much more than being financially stable. Raising a child can be easy with the help of money to support its needs but developing the child into what kind of a person he would be eventually doesn't involve money at all (as far as I see). The responsibility there is completely different.
• Canada
15 Jun 11
Wow, thanks for a well thought comment. I agree 100% with everything you said. However, I personally would still make sure that I can be financially stable to support a child. As i would love to offer everything they wished for (with moderation of course). Mainly because it may be difficult to save up fully for their education for example, and perhaps economic strikes like we are having today. Though children who grew up under love and support of their parents are more appreciative of everything they have, that is why I agree with you.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
13 Jun 11
For me 25years of age it is good to have a child not old and young to care for the child because it is hard to deal with the baby.
• Canada
15 Jun 11
Yea, people may face difficulty when they are physically and perhaps mentally unfit to care for a child.
@sjvg1976 (16778)
• Delhi, India
13 Jun 11
Hi way2vision, In my opinion when one get financially strong & feel that he is able to take responsibilities should have children does not matter what is the age then but should in between 25~30 years. But one thing i also would like to share one should always try to have children before 30 years because this is my view your children should stand on their own once you get retired from work its not worth that you are retired & your childern are still going to primary school.
• Canada
15 Jun 11
I agree, I assume most people are ready between the ages of 25-30. At that age people tend to have careers and jobs that have thought them important lessons in life such as dedication that may be key when it comes to caring for a child. Though it may not seem appropriate to become a parent at an older age, depending on your physical status really. I congratulate those who had children at an older age, as many people do try to have children but have never been successful. Thank you for your comment
• China
13 Jun 11
I think when you are economically indepent,you have a sense of responsbility,you have enough money to feed the children and provid children good education,you can consider to have babies.
• Canada
13 Jun 11
Those are very good points, very good goals. Hard to achieve but not impossible. Many tasks still to complete in the journey though. Thanks for the reply.
@stary1 (6622)
• United States
13 Jun 11
I think 30s is the best time. You are still young enough. I think 20's is the time to set up a career and mature somewhat before you have a family. Of course it depends on many other factors as well and everyone is different. Late teens, early 20s in my opinion is way too young. I was 26 with my first..I wish I had waited, though financially we were good, there were other things I would have done first.
• Canada
13 Jun 11
Yes I agree, way too young. Very foolish also. I believe there are more to experience in life before settling down at a very young age. And I agree, early 20s are still equivalent to late teens, especially with the influence from the 20 year old's with the media. Many mistakes can be made. But congratulations to you, hope everything is well and good luck in the future. Thanks very much for your thoughts.
• Philippines
13 Jun 11
Having a kid doesn't really rely if you are financially stable or not. Being mature enough, I guess is the big key. Be ready for the responsibility and know your responsibility very well. Openness to learn new things from a new world is a great challenge also. You must be prepared physically, mentally and most of all emotionally.
• Canada
13 Jun 11
I totally agree. But, I think having financial power may help a lot. Its just a bonus i guess. But being able to love your child is probably the most important. I just hope to be financially stable eventually so that i could offer them more than what i was offered. Saving up for their tuition will be hectic. Thank you very much for your thoughts.
@jazzyrae (1747)
• United States
29 Jul 11
Money is not everything yes it's Important to have enough but in my opinion 20'sare the best. You are more fertile you have more energy. Of course once I have a child I will become a stay at home mom and let my husband provide
@maximax8 (27048)
17 Jun 11
I think that biologically the best age to have children is around 24 years old. Therefore it is great if a lady has her baby between the ages of 24 to 29 years old. Then she has her second child in her early thirties like age 30 to 34 years old. Hopefully by age 29 years old she would be financially stable. I bought my first home when I was 19 years old. I traveled around the world from age 20 to 21 years old. Then I got married and my baby son was born when I was 22 years old. My marriage lasted 6 years and then we got divorced. I had another relationship and my disabled son was born when I was 34 years old and my daughter was 36 years old. I felt happy to have all my children and totally ready.
@tink91879 (746)
• United States
13 Jun 11
I think the age to have children depends on you. I would recomend some one under 20 to go out and activly try to have a child, but who knows. I think you should be in a stable relationship or if you have done the relationship but want to be a single parent have it where you have a good support system. Financially stable. Now trust me you will never have enough money for children unless your already rolling in the dough. Children are so expensive so if you waiting till all debts are paid, awesome, but that cld take a long time and you might miss and awesome oppertunity. I fully recomend having money coming in though where you dont have to rely on others for food, clothes and shelter. I had my daughter when I was 23. Not planned at all. I had my son when I was 25. With my daughter my husband and I were shocked, our son was planned. I have to say from 23 to 25 I was a different person. From 25 to 30 I changed a lot than too. I personally think 25 is a good age to start. Even with all my experience with children when I had my son at the age of 25 I felt different, more ready more adult like. So I think its up to the person when everything in their life is where they feel comfortable with it. Children bring a ton of stress and a ton of joy.