What you do when your EX sent you a message?

@maean_19 (4663)
Philippines
June 14, 2011 10:42am CST
I am just wondering how you deal in a situation when your ex-boyfriend sent you a message? What if that ex-boyfriend of yours was the same person who cheated on you, lied to you and broke your heart the most? Maybe you have forgiven him and even tried to forget the bad memories, then suddenly out of the blue, he would text you, the least expected for him to do. How will you deal with him?
8 people like this
42 responses
• United States
14 Jun 11
Although I would have to change the gender to answer this question, I would say that I would probably ignore it. Actually, I doubt that I would really be able to resist if my ex girlfriend sent me a text message. While I might like to think that I could be the bigger person and do the whole "forgive and forget" thing, I doubt that would be the case. Most likely, that person would receive a very rude message back from me. This is not the perfect thing to do at all, but it is just what I do feel would happen. Very interesting topic.
@maean_19 (4663)
• Philippines
16 Jun 11
Too bad for the ex receiving rude messages from you. But, yes he/she deserves it because hurt or pain is not something to forget overnight. Besides, he/she was the one who almost ruined your life and will sent you messages as if nothing happened.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Jun 11
hi maean, Well if you really don't have a feelings towards your ex then you have a choice you can ignore him or you can reply him back and be civil to each other. But if you don't have a reason or feelings anymore simply ignore him Or give him a chance to lie,cheat and hurt you again happy mylotting
• Philippines
15 Jun 11
I agree with bhabycatch013 (1067).. I had the same experience with my ex boyfriend. But on my case, I was not able to fight my feelings back for him because I still love him even though he cheated on me ahaha. I replied him back but I made it point that not to let him know that I still do love him.. Good day:)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
15 Jun 11
I agree with bhabycatch013 (1067).. I had the same experience with my ex boyfriend. But on my case, I was not able to fight my feelings back for him because I still love him even though he cheated on me ahaha. I replied him back but I made it point that not to let him know that I still do love him.. Good day:)
@maean_19 (4663)
• Philippines
16 Jun 11
Hi ladies! Yes, there is always a choice whether to reply or not, or to give in or not. There is always a choice. And I choose to reply him the next day. It is good to know why he sent a message or his intentions. But, good for me I did not give in with his attempt to soften my heart. And I choose to ignore after.
@ElicBxn (59547)
• United States
15 Jun 11
you text back "GET LOST LOSER!!!"
1 person likes this
@maean_19 (4663)
• Philippines
16 Jun 11
..Well, I think that would be something so immature. I was not bitter to say such words.
1 person likes this
@ElicBxn (59547)
• United States
16 Jun 11
He "cheated on you, lied to you and broke your heart" I don't think that's nearly as immature as how HE acted and then tries to "suck up" to you again - JERK!
• Philippines
14 Jun 11
If I were in your case, I will ignore him. I mean what is he after in sending you a message? Is he trying to get some kind of attention or what? Cases like that really annoys me most especially when he did something like cheat on me and lied on me on so many things. Don't try to give me any thing that would encourage and make him think that you're still thinking about him.
1 person likes this
@maean_19 (4663)
• Philippines
18 Aug 11
You are right my friend. Don't worry as I have pointed out to him that I am no longer interested. Although, he is trying to get my attention, I never deal in softening my heart. Enough is enough.
• Philippines
14 Jun 11
It's situational.If you haven't heard your ex for a long time and you're not in a relationship, maybe you can reply to him.If you are in a relationship with someone else, you can still reply to him with a message that you are already happy and doesn't want anything to do with him.It also depends on his message, if he just want your forgiveness, then why not give it to him?After all,it's so difficult to carry all those grudges in years.If he started to have romantic relationship with you without even asking for forgiveness,don't ever mind him.
@maean_19 (4663)
• Philippines
18 Aug 11
I am still single at the time he sent me those messages, but I am happy with my present situation. I have replied to his message, but things are different now. At least, I could already tell that I am finally free because I could manage talk to him without my heart throbbing...
@inu1711 (5290)
• Romania
14 Jun 11
Hello Maean, If something like this happened to me, I would reply him and tell him that I am not interested in his messages any more. I would nicely explain to him that things between us can't change after what he has done and he shouldn't waste his time (and my time, too) trying to make me change my mind. I hope this is only something theoretical and nothing bothers you, my friend. Or does it?
1 person likes this
@maean_19 (4663)
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
Hi my dear Mihaela, Am glad you responded and shared your view on this matter. Although, this has been a month old discussion. Well, yes, I have responded to his message, not because I am still interested to him. It is more of wondering why all of a sudden and he had to send messages to me. Yet, I make it a point that things had changed and am no onger interested getting back with him. I have done my part and forgave him. But, i don't want to be hurt again even he promised that he changed.
@skysuccess (8884)
• Singapore
14 Jun 11
maean_19, I believe you can even ignore it and treat it as some junk message. It is your choice and right to reject your ex-boyfriend's attention and proposal even when you've forgiven him. Remember it is your right and since you've suffered enough previously. I think it is important to move on and prove to him that you are better off without him.
@maean_19 (4663)
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
Hi sky, Certainly, there are two things to do, either reply and ignore. At first, I have ignored it. The next day, I have thought of what if I will respond? I know it will do no harm if I respond and find out why all of a sudden he was texting. And so, I did reply the next day. With my response to him, I know he already get my point that I am not interested anymore.
• Philippines
14 Jun 11
For me, I might try to message him back but it would not mean that I am still interested in him or whatever. I would be happy to let him know how lucky I am to be free from him. Honestly, I love this kind of scenarios specially when I know in my part that I have fully recovered and I am back to my old self again.
1 person likes this
@maean_19 (4663)
• Philippines
1 Jul 11
That's what I did. Yes, I replied to his message, but it was very casual not like before. And when he tried to soften my heart like calling me with our endearment, I stopped and showed him that I am not interested.
@srjac0902 (1170)
• Italy
14 Jun 11
Yes one would recall back again all the past, positive and negative. Would experience great pain like opening up of wound that was getting healed. Then one would burst out crying. One would never answer to that message
1 person likes this
@maean_19 (4663)
• Philippines
28 Jun 11
Hi my friend! In a way, there is an advantage of ignoring the text and replying to it. I chose to reply to know what was the intention. And yes, I feel better now.
• Philippines
14 Jun 11
i will not reply to the message. it complicates things so it would be best not to reply.
1 person likes this
@maean_19 (4663)
• Philippines
16 Jun 11
In a way, yes you can choose to ignore it. But, it is also good to know the reasons why he sent you a message. Besides, it is one way to see if you truly moved on or not. Better face it than avoid.
@jenny1015 (13398)
• Philippines
17 Oct 12
I never had a boyfriend that cheated on me. Sad to say but I was always the one who went out of the relationship coz of some personal issues. So when they try to contact me, I am the one who feel a little awkward replying. But if ever, an ex of mine of cheated on me tried to build the broken friendship, I don't think it would be possible. I can forgive but it is difficult for me to forget.
@jureathome (5363)
• Philippines
18 Apr 12
My experience was the other way around. I was the one who left him and hurt him so much that it messed his studies. Suddenly, after 4 years, I reached out to him and invited him to go out. He was hesitant at first, because I had a boyfriend at that time, who was out of the country. But, the naughty me, insisted to meeting up and that everything will just be for fun. It took him a week to finally gave in and we started seeing each other secretly.
@LittleMel (14060)
• Canada
27 Feb 12
depends on what happened, why we broke up I still talked to a few of them after break up but that was before I got married and relocated the ones that gave me most pain, I usually would ignore or block them if I find their emails/letters/photos again, I will just use it for my healing routine to see whether I have moved on or not
@soulist (2987)
• United States
23 Feb 12
I actually had to deal with this recently. One of my exes sent me a message to tell me he still loved me and wanted to be with me. He went as far as to tell me he would fly me out to where he lives to be with me and what not. I told him he needed to respect the fact that I am in a relationship and am very happy. He respected that
@bubuth (1816)
• Philippines
31 Jan 12
Actually i have an ex boyfriend,he cheated on me,he lie to me. He hurt my feelings so much when we are still together that's why i choose to end up our relationship.It take a long time before i give my forgiveness to him,when the time i forgive him i already have my new one which is my husband now. My ex boyfriend always send me a text message and i also reply to his massage and now we are just good friend. It is okay to my husband because he also being a good friend to my ex.
@asliah (11149)
• Philippines
24 Jul 11
hi, actually that was happened to me last month,and yes i already forgave him for what he did to me,even he broke my heart,he texted me and of course i replied to him,there is no wrong for that,and even now we are now friends and we sometimes texting each other.
@jdyrj777 (6563)
• United States
16 Jun 11
Actually this has happen to me. A ex that cheated very many times. Til i finally said, "no more". He doesnt know where i live now. He does text or call every now and then. I respond kindly but do nothing to lead him on. I broke it off almost 2 years ago now.
@Bebs08 (10691)
• United States
16 Jun 11
well, it happened to me long time ago. My ex sent me a message, just a greeting and ask me if I know who he was. Since I have no idea who? I keep on responding and later I recognized him and the war began. He got my number from my cousin and I was so upset why my number was given to a person whom I considered a monster. hahahah But anyway, I throw some words that let him stop sending me more messages.
• United States
15 Jun 11
I have had an ex call for months after our breakup. I totally ignored his calls and finally he quit calling. That door is forever closed.
@aerous (13477)
• Philippines
15 Jun 11
Well, there's a chance of forgiveness, friend. It also depend on your feelings if you still accept the person...