I know I did the right thing but why do I feel guilty?

@zenki08 (700)
Philippines
June 17, 2011 10:47pm CST
I recently ended my relationship with my girlfriend whom I really loved. You guys may ask why end a relationship with someone you really love, well my answer would be simple it was sucking the life out of me. Here is a little background on what kind of relationship I have with her. http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/2520216.aspx I did not end the relationship after getting lots of inputs on what to do coz, I felt that I could work on it. But the routine continued she was only there when she needed something. I finally got so fed up of the lies that I has to be brutally honest and I told her that she was just using me and she's giving me the run around. She got kinda mad and told me that it was good that I introduced my realself. I told her that she was the one who introduced her true self to me, and that I was just giving her a chance and the benifit of the doubt because I thought she loved me. But still after this I feel guilty telling her those things. I feel I hurt her and I'm not used to hurting people. I don't know if I did the right thing?
5 people like this
7 responses
@free_man (7337)
• United States
19 Jun 11
Hi Zen. She was mad because you are her bread and butter sort of speak. She was using you and didn't care about you she was looking for a daddy figure to give her what she wants but give nothing back sounds like to me. It isn't you that needs to work on a relationship that sounds to me like it is one sided her side. In any relationship you got to both give a hundrend percent. Can't be one giving and the other taking all the time! You got to make yourself happy before you can make anyone else happy. She don't sound like she gave a hoot how you felt just how she felt.Don't feel guilty that is her way of making you feel bad so you will keep giving and she can keep taking everything. She sounds like a sucker fish she will suck the life right out of you if you let her! Be a man stand up for your rights and tell her it is over and tell her she don't have a chance in hell of getting you back!
@zenki08 (700)
• Philippines
20 Jun 11
Yes it is a one sided relationship from the start. I'm the type of person who only reacts when something is wrong or there is a valid reason. I tried talking to her about it many times but did not see any change. I felt like a tool in a toolbox.
1 person likes this
@free_man (7337)
• United States
20 Jun 11
You are on the right track my friend. She is a user and you was just a tool for her to use when it was right for her. She didn't know that you was in it for love she wasn't in it for anything but her. She thinks that she is the only one that needed she didn't think about the abuse she was dishing out to you. I have known many people like this and I am one that will stand up and just plain tell them I won't be used. I can't be used!
@sk66rc (4261)
• United States
18 Jun 11
2 words, "Truth Hurts!" If the things you've said to her were absolutely true, then you have nothing to feel bad about. There are few things I grew up believing in. First, belief isjust an opinion until it is tested. You can say all you want about what you believe in but until your back is pushed in to the corner, people will never know your true conviction. Second, I was told by someone when I was younger never to live my life by other people's standards. You have to do the things that you feel are right things to do. That means you'll hurt some people's feelings along the way. That's the cold truth about reality. Me & my girl friend have our arguments like every couple. I actually would take it as an insult if she tries to sugar coat anything. I hate that. I don't know you. I don't know your now ex-girl friend. I don't know what you have said about your ex girl friend are true or not. but if they are true, you have done nothing wrong & you shouldn't feel guilty about it.
@zenki08 (700)
• Philippines
20 Jun 11
Thank you. Indeed the truth hurts. Actually most of the people who know me have said that, finally I woke up and have seen the truth. Yes I was finally pushed to my limit. I hurt her, but she hurt me more.
@lukem52 (26)
• Canada
18 Jun 11
sorry to hear that man. The truth hurts personally its hard to tell all the sides when just being told about it online but from what you've explained i truly believe you did the right thing. And best of all you did it now rather then later. The longer you wait the harder it will be to do. I know it hurts and so it should because you loved her and she didnt seem to love you. But that being the case there are billions of other people in the world and you will find one who will be able to return your love. Best of luck for the future.
@EdnaReyes (2628)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
You feel guilty because deep inside you tells that you still care for her. If you think you did the right thing and you do her a favor but telling how you feel about her "using you" sort of, then be it. You did it because you decided to tell your true feeling, that you are being annoyed and bothered by her actions that you suspect that means "using you only". Clear things first with your self, when you did, then there's no way guilty feelings can bother you.
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
Your discussion says that you did the right thing,so why feel guilty? Okay,maybe because you don't want to hurt others feelings right? But sometimes we cannot avoid hurting other people esp when we want to show them our rights too. Then,go and asks sorry...just say sorry for all the things,words you've said. Whether she accept the apology or not,at least it will lessen the guilt feeling that you have right now.
• Philippines
18 Jun 11
I think it's because you really want the relationship to work but sad to say you have the wrong person and need to end it up.Maybe it's not really guilt that you feel,you're just hurt, depress and felt betrayed, and these makes you feel bad.I think that you made the right decision.If that girl really cares for you, she will try to communicate no matter how busy she is.
• Australia
18 Jun 11
It's perfectly normal for you to feel bad, your emotions would be running hot, what a terrible situation you are in. The worst feeling in the world is the one strait after you accept that the person you love doesn't feel the same way. That they will never have the feelings that you do for them and you are better off alone. I wouldn't like to be in the relationship you described and i know we have only heard one side of the arguement but i think you know you are better off alone. As hard as it is to accept now, its for the best.