You're odd. You're weird. You're not one of us. So why are you even here?
By Amber
@AmbiePam (85313)
United States
June 22, 2011 12:42pm CST
I know I'm different from my family. I may look like them, and I may share political and religious views with them, but I'm so different. And I'm very aware of it. My sister had been staying with my parents for an extended Father's Day visit. And over the course of her visit I don't know how many times she told me I was weird or odd. And half the time she was rolling her eyes at me while saying it. Of course my self worth is not based on what my sister thinks. I like who I am inside. But boy do I feel unwanted. My dad doesn't say I'm odd, but he has given me looks over the years, and has told me various times he just didn't/doesn't understand me. He still gets frustrated when some of my decisions although in no way wrong, aren't what he would want me to make. My mom never really "got" me, but boy did she try. She went out of her way to try to bridge the gap between me and my sister and dad. Well, the dementia has taken my mom away from us all. I haven't been able to rely on her for quite some time.
Don't get me wrong, I know my family loves me. But it sure does get lonely and depressing being told how different I am. If I told them how unwanted they make me feel they would scoff. And I'm an adult, I should be able to just handle those feelings and not have to cry and whine about it to them. Well, I wouldn't want to bother my dad with that. He's got my mom to deal with. I admit I expected as my sister and I got older (I'm 30, she is 32) that she would become more relatable and kinder.
Are you the odd one out in your family? Does your family try to make you feel like one of them even if you don't exactly fit their mold?
11 people like this
32 responses
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
22 Jun 11
I can't say I've ever gone through that, Ambiepam. I think you should tell them and set boundaries with them. They are not to cross those boundaries. You don't have to whine and moan, but be assertive that you don't like it and you would prefer to be respected. Your dad has your mom to contend with, but that should not stop you from standing up for yourself.
2 people like this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
22 Jun 11
Oh yeah, I am very different in my beliefs from my family. My family are professing "Christians" yet they say cruel things. Then when I stopped following just the New Testament, and started following the whole Bible, my sister thought I was in a cult..If that is the case, the early church is also a cult. (I am referring to the church before they eliminated the Biblical feasts)
As you know Ambie, I have slowly over the years stopped putting so much on the man made holidays and eliminating unclean food in my diet. So not only my family, but a lot of my friends as well have noticed that I won't eat that hot dog or that casserole, or even that deluxe pizza. I don't think my friends judge me as much as my family though, I guess that is something we just have to deal with..:(
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
23 Jun 11
No. first of all I am sad to have learned this one Ambie. I am sorry that you are going through this. I wish you are just here beside me so I can give you a hug. If your family will treat you as different, with me you will never be. I will treat you as a family. Good thing you still love your family despite of it. I know your family needs you no matter how different you feel about yourself being with them. I am not odd one in the family. We have different views when we talk about other things but I do not treat myself as the odd one. My family did make me feel I am part of them. Even though there are lots of family problem we had, they treat me as one of them. They treat me the same kind.
1 person likes this
You're very sweet. Thank you.
@mamacathie (3928)
• United States
16 Jul 11
God made you special and don't let anyone make you feel bad. We are all made unique in a very special way because God made each one of us like snowflakes, different. Most of the time when we are told we are odd, weird, "dumb" etc, the person telling us that is self-conscious and not sure of themselves and this is a way to make themselves feel better. So many people think we are different, weird, or odd because we don't do things just as they think we should. We all have our own opinions and ideas and when the project is said and done the final result is the same but can be done in many different ways. Hang in there and let God use you!
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
23 Jun 11
Oh my dear sweet Amber! I so wish that you really were my sis! I
wouldn't judge you at all. I would just be so happy to have a sister like
you. My Mom judges me all the time and I'm 58 and she is 81! She has
never approved of anything I have ever done or not done in my entire life!
How do you thing that makes me feel hearing this over and over again at my
age? She is unhappy with my not givin her grandchildren, but she says she
would probably be supporting them too. She puts me down every chance she
gets because I need financial help and she has more than enough money
to give, but likes me to "kiss her azz" first and I am sooooo not the
azz kissing kind! I have always been stronger than her and she's always
been jealous of the fact that I took care of myself without relying on
a "man". She got rich because of certain circumstances and with my Step-Father's
help investing money she inherited! It was my family she inherited the money
from! My point is that you are not alone! And I will always be here for you.
I accept you as you are, and don't think you are weird at all. My invitation
for you to come and visit still is open. We can talk more in private. I
have been going through alot of Medical Testing and have been having some
serious health issues so haven't gotten back to you. I am here if you want
to talk! One more test tomorrow, pray for me and hopefully can take a month
off until the next round! Love you, Les
1 person likes this
@bird123 (10632)
• United States
24 Jun 11
God gave everyone a different view to guaranty mankind a larger view than any one person could have. One thing I do know. You are exactly who the people in your family need around them. Pick the right moment then have a one on one talk starting with your sister. She hasn't a clue. Maybe in time, you can talk with your dad too. Remember, you decide how you define yourself and live. That is too important of a choice to allow others to do it for you. God wants you to be who you must. It's a part of the plan. Do I think you are weird??? I see something wonderful and priceless in you. I see your love and kindness. Perhaps that is the lesson you are to teach your family. Yes, you are special.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (85313)
• United States
24 Jun 11
I've had this talk with my sister and dad before. While my dad was receptive in my later years, my sister never was. I thought in time she would, but she has not. I have tried to find the right times to speak to her about it because she has a short temper.
Thank you for your kind words.
@ElicBxn (63233)
• United States
27 Jun 11
I've always been the odd one, but my parents didn't care, my sister didn't care, only my brother cared, and I don't care if he's not happy with me...
My parents only wanted me to be happy, and I'm reasonably happy, I don't need a husband and certainly not CHILDREN to be happy, I've got too many cats, but that's okay.
So, if my brother doesn't like it, well, I don't like the way he's living his life either, and he's come to the point where he knows he can't tell me anything - tough sh!t, at least I'm not leaving a trail of ex-girlfriends (or boy friends in my case) behind.
1 person likes this
@carpenter5 (6782)
• United States
15 Jul 11
Oh boy do they? While my sister and I get along great and she seems to understand me, my brother always seems to be mad at me...many times for things that just baffle me.
I rarely speak to many of my cousin's on my dad's side because they tell me that I'm a "goody two shoes" and think I'm better than they are. I've not ever said that to anyone. I finally gave up trying to have a relationship with most of them.
1 person likes this
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
24 Jun 11
I don't know if they consider me to be odd or not, but I have always been something of a loner. My dad always wanted me to study accounting and when I went to college the first time, I wanted to study nursing. He could never understand me. My brothers and sisters were never particularly close especially after I moved out. Now my younger brother helps me a lot since I have been fighting cancer this second time, but when I was younger I always hated him. It is strange how relationships change over the years...at least for me. Have a great weekend!!!
1 person likes this
@allknowing (130067)
• India
25 Jun 11
In a way I could say that I am different but that does not mean I am weird. It is my independence that bothers them all. They cannot understand how I don't go to them for any kind of help and that is the bone of contention - my independence. Something which should be appreciated but no they find it odd!
1 person likes this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
23 Jun 11
Yes I admittedly can say I am different and or odd one of the family. Mainly because all of my brothers and sisters were raised by my mother and I was not.
I have been raised by several others therefore, I tend to be completely different with regards to my life goals, beliefs and way of living.
They sure knew how to let me know that I was different, as to date I have not seen any of them for many, many years. 
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
23 Jun 11
Well, in most families, there will always be an odd one among them. But that odd one, isn't less like them, because they are of their blood.
Sometimes though, family members would tell us if we are odd. But i guess, they would just say that because they want us to conform to what they believe. It's up for the odd one to follow or insist in his/her odd ways.
Don't mind them. Just do what you think is right. In no time , they will realize that your being odd has some use to them also. 
1 person likes this
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
22 Jun 11
hi Ambie here is a hug for you first. (((((Ambie)))))
I think I can relate to how you feel and I wish I could do something to make you feel better.
Identical here.Like you I have also always been different from the rest of the family and the fact I am different was just slapped right and left around my ears all the time.
Like, I dont express grief with visiting the graveyard all the time so I was treated rudely by them as if I dont miss my grandmother at all who was the one giving me a home.
I am no family person whatsoever. I dont think the family of origin should be the center of your thinking and living. Many of my friends mean more to me than my family and have sure been much more understanding than said family over time.
I am also weird and odd in their eyes and selfish as well as I try to live my own life and not to fulfill their demands and not live mp to their expectations as an adult.
1 person likes this
@RitterSport (2451)
• Lippstadt, Germany
4 Jul 11
thanks bunches for the BR hope you have a great National Holiday today in the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
24 Jun 11
I am definitely the odd one out in my family. I am totally different in alot of ways. My family really does not go out of their way a whole lot to make me fit in but they do accept me as I am since I explained that I am different and like the way I am.
1 person likes this
@clocks123 (1225)
• United States
23 Jun 11
we are all unique and all of us is different. isn't this great. i don't think i would like to be like someone else-- i am me. the Lord made all all different. i am very sorry about your mom and her condition, and the hard time you, your sister and your father are having. i am also sorry you feel odd and apart from your loved ones. could you tell your sister how you feel as you have told us. you can tell her this hurts you when she rolls her eyes saying you are weird. if she dosen't respond as you would like, then at least you let her know and she knows how you feel. i hope you have others in your life who will stand with you. you appear to be a wonderful sensitive woman. i wish you and your family the best. you are in my thoughts and prayers.
1 person likes this
@alottodo (3056)
• Australia
23 Jun 11
We are all different in our own way! I have 4 children[ now adults...thank goodness] and they are all different...but despite that they can all accept each other some how...there is no mold to fit! each one got their own and they live by it.
1 person likes this
@greenfeathers (1206)
• United States
23 Jun 11
Well, I was a bit of a peculiar child..shrug..In fact, I went by the self imposed name of The Freke until well after high school. Anymore, I'm still a bit odd to some folks and when such is pointed out to me I answer.."Yes, I am unique! Thanks for noticing!"..No, I don't fit the family well, or most groups I find myself around..Oh well..At 58 I'm more concerned with other things than pleasing folks who do nothing to please me..Enjoy!
1 person likes this
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
23 Jun 11
Hi Ambie!
The oddity makes you different than others and that is makes you as a unique person. I always remember that because there is no one who consider themselves as the same as each of us is different from one and another. I think the different way till my family could not understand me more and my sister is different than anyone of my family members that makes her decided to have her own life. We are all different. And because we are different that makes us stick together. Like even if my sister is not here with us she always contact and visit us frequently.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
23 Jun 11
I used to feel like that when i was in my teens. In fact my family thinks it's because of the university i went to. Yes i was 16 when i entered university. It was a very liberated university compared to others. The culture is quite different. It has opened my mind but my family is quite too conservative. I was strange only for awhile to them until they realized that they couldn't change who i am.
They just accepted me and in fact i was able to influence them to have an open mind as well.
1 person likes this
