Should We Respect those Who Don't Respect Us?

@erikmama (12929)
United States
June 26, 2011 11:34pm CST
There is one particualr family member in my life (some of you may know) who I do not get along with. Even though I should get along with this person, this person has caused me a lot of pain, hurt, embarrassement, and anguish. The person has done things that I wouldn't do to my worst enemy, and treated me quite unfair at many times. At the same time the person has thrown me a helping hand on a few occasions, usually never ending well. I am suppose to respect this person,however, I don't. I am not sure why I am suppose to respect a person who isn't deserving of it and who doesn't respect me. What do you think? Are there certain people who deserve respect no matter what? How do you handle disrespect?
2 people like this
13 responses
@chuyins123 (2118)
• Philippines
27 Jun 11
They say, respect begets respect.And I could still remember someone said "Respect is not something to be imposed, it's earned." But I guess to initiate respect it should come from you. With this person you're referring to, if you have been able to bear with it respecting that person despite the ill feelings you have towards that person, then might as well continue respecting it for the mere fact that he is human. Another thing is, it would also be good if you forgive that person for what he/she has done to you in the past. However, you have to communicate it to him/her, so that such hurting things he/she's done will never be repeated. Good luck on your life and your relationship. See yah. chuyins
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
1 Jul 11
I could give respect to those who deserve it. I would even show respect to people I don't know, it's just in my nature. But for people that continue to disrespect me, I could do without. If I could live my life without their help, or their existence, then I would just do so. I would stay away from them as much as possible. Now, if they take that as a sign of disrespect, then tough because I wouldn't care.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
30 Jun 11
Honestly, I do think that people can do something to you that will make you lose all respect for them that you ever had. Typically when I have faced these kinds of things in my life, I will try to avoid the person if it is possible. However, I also know that there are times that it is not possible to avoid a person. When that happens, I suppose I turn into a two faced type of person because I will act like I respect them when I am in front of them when I really have no respect at all for that person.
@SIMPLYD (81467)
• Philippines
28 Jun 11
I believe in what the bible says, if you are slapped on one cheek , give your other cheek as well. Do whatever you can to avoid disrespect also. Try to be as civil as you are to the person. In addition , pray for the enlightenment of that person. I strongly believe that vengeance is not ours, it's God's.
@AFI34974 (61)
• United States
28 Jun 11
I don't respect anyone who doesn't respect me. I know most people preach the "respect your elders" but I think that is ridiculous. Now, it's not as if I'm going to come out swinging, but if someone, even an elder, is rude to me, not only am I going to tell them about their manners, but I'm also going to let them find their way right out the door.
• United States
28 Jun 11
Whether right or wrong I am a firm believer that respect is earned not given freely.
@simplycza (1480)
• Philippines
27 Jun 11
yeah some says "respect begets respect". But actually, I never gets hurt if others are disrecpectful. It just simply defines how are they as a person. Stay away from negativity, smile and don't mind others with this kind of attitude. But to become positive about it, okay just respect them even though they aren't to you. Who knows, you might change their ouotlooks in life too. :)
@marnice (60)
• Philippines
27 Jun 11
How can I respect someone if that someone is not respecting me. Like you I experienced pain, hurt end embarrassment from my father in law because he is drunk that time. From that day on I never respected him. That man don't deserve my respect after all I've done for them.
@marnice (60)
• Philippines
27 Jun 11
How can I respect someone if that someone is not respecting me. Like you I experienced pain, hurt end embarrassment from my father in law because he is drunk that time. From that day on I never respected him. That man don't deserve my respect after all I've done for them.
@stanley777 (7177)
• Philippines
27 Jun 11
I guess I know who you are referring to.The truth is some of us have been experiencing the same problem what you are having now.They say to gain respect you must act respectably too, but in your situation I think it's really hard on your part to show it.As you have said this person have cause you much which even in your imagination you can not do to your worst enemy. Another problem is you have to get along with this person because you are now a member of their family.Maybe the best thing you could do is to not be around in his presence if you can, because seeing or just being with this person will only remind you on how this person treated you.There are persons who are good in pretending but in what you have stated you are not one of them.I hope you can think of other way to ease the tension between you two.
@wmraul (2557)
• Bucharest, Romania
27 Jun 11
Respecting anything is around you, no matter are animals, humans, objects, plants or even needs, culture, habbits, this is the way you respect yourself. Well, sure, this does not mean not even near to any form of obedience. Not that form of respect you show toward lions while you must make a stop over the night in savannah. Is a form of respect on the edge. I use to name it "polite, cold-as-ice and distant". Make things such way everybody to see you are nice and polite yet he / she is a jerk. Treat the one, everytime you meet him, like you'll see him for the last time - like he is about to go for a 0% chances of success surgery ..
@Rainegurl (2158)
• Philippines
27 Jun 11
Yup, respect is earned. I try to show respect to everybody, even if I can tell that they do not like me that much. If they show disrespect, I do not stoop down to their level. So how could I bear it? I do not. I do not depend on them for anything and if ever I have to deal with them, I try to be as courteous as possible. Not plastic, just courteous. I would not rely on them for my happiness or self worth. It's sad that you to deal with such a person in your life. But please be strong, do not show disrespect ever. Maybe if you maintain your composure he or she would come around but do not stoop down to his level and do not ever measure your self worth based on how he treats you.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
27 Jun 11
Hi Erikmama, Respect is earned. I treat everyone with respect and even those that I really don't like at all or respect at all. It takes a lot of button pushing to push me to act disrespectfully toward anyone. If I don't respect someone, I won't pretend to be their best little friend. I won't go out of my way to be around that person and if they invite me to be, I'll decline if at all possible. When in situations where I have no choice but to be with that person, I'll be polite and civil...no personal chats or anything...just no mudslinging. Example; my ex treated me horrible and was abusive. Still we had kids together and there are times when we have to face each other or go to a function together. I don't need to show him how much I disrespect him...there is no need to. Real respect is in your heart and either you do or you don't. It's not a choice.