Would you report child neglect?

United States
June 30, 2011 7:06pm CST
I recently just moved out of house that had alot of people living in it. Amongst the people was a couple (man and women) and their two children (who all shared one room). As time went by I realized that her actions towards her kids went beyond bad parenting. . . she neglected them. For example, the whole 4 months I was there she only gave her kid 2 baths, she would purposely give her toddler food that was steaming hot and when he burned himself she would just say "thats what you get", while the toddler would wake up at 7 she wouldn't wake up hours later leaving the kid to roam about the house by himself, and the way she would discipline was by screaming in their face and then smacking them. Things like that. As I lived there I started to really get attach to the toddler, mainly because I was the one feeding him, putting him to bed, and holding him. And it breaks my heart to know that no one is doing that for him because I'm not there. I really want to call authorities and report this but I'm just unsure. Besides my boyfriend works with her boyfriend and it might jeopardize his job. What would you do? ( she's also pregnant again :-( )
5 people like this
14 responses
• United States
1 Jul 11
I would go visit as often as I could and that way I could help the child. If you report it and the child gets taken away it may destroy a family. What you could do is sit down with the mother and remind her what child abuse is and that your concerned about the children. If this was going on your should have spoken to her long time ago. Maybe you could have scared her straight.
2 people like this
• Australia
6 Jul 11
Yes i think this is a good approach also but there isn't much of a family without love! I don't think that you should neglect these children also let the authorities judge them to be fit parents. If they go there and there is food in the fridge the house and children are somewhat clean ( doesn't have to be perfect) and in clean clothes are safe and warm then there is no problem. Every child deserves this all the time not just when a friend of the family pops over to see if your ok. What kind of life is that for the children is this Family? All living in one room?
• United States
6 Jul 11
Many people have tried talking to her, but she refuses to admit there is a problem. :-( thats what I'm worried about. . .if the the authorities go there and the house just happens to be clean or somthing && no one is going to say something. thank you for your response
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Jul 11
just letting you know I called the authorities, so hopefully something will be done.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Jul 11
Oh yikes this is quite sad. I would suggest you speak to her and see if she can change her ways, but somehow find that it may not do any good. Unless she herself realizes it is neglect she will just take offense to anyone suggesting that it is. I have not been in a situation where I thought I had to call child protective services on anyone. But if I thought a child was in danger, I believe it is our duty to report and or at least have them investigate. We are speaking of the safety of a child and that really is what it is all about. I see you say your boyfriend works with her boyfriend, that perhaps will put a strain there. Maybe your boyfriend can somehow speak to the baby's father? But then would he not also see that the child is being neglected? Which sort of indicates he too would be offended. This is really tough. Although I do know one can call anonymous and depending on where this is, for instance here one can remain anonymous and they will at least investigate. But if you decide to do this then speaking to the parents before hand will trigger it was you who did it. So really the bottom line here is whether or not you feel the children are in danger and if so then someone should do something before the children get hurt. Having another baby will mean there will be no additional time to care for the two if she is not already doing so. How very sad this is. Poor babies.
• United States
6 Jul 11
unfortunately her boyfriend doesn't care about much && he doesn't take care of any of the children either. they way you put it about the child's safety makes alot of sense. thank you for your response =]
• United States
6 Jul 11
I just got off the phone with authorities! so hopefully something can be done =]
• United States
6 Jul 11
Know you did the right thing, they will handle it from here. At least now they will assure the children are okay.
@febrigas (362)
• Indonesia
1 Jul 11
From the source i've ever read, Children are a gift from The Creator, The parents who gave birth to a child should responsible, especiallly in the matter of educating both the father as a head of the family and the mother as a housekeeper. The participation of a parents in educating children is the early success of parents in the family when the children obey their parents even more so the child undergo training in accordance with religious orders. Parents should not show negative emotion to their children. Every parent's inability to control emotions make a children become tempramental and have a nature or attitudesbad is is easy emotionally. As a result of parents who thus can not be a good role model or for children in the control children and nurture her baby. I think parents should not have done so in children, In my country, there are handling such cases, The National Commission of Child Protection, So, that if the rights, as child are not met, Therefore, anyone can report cases to the national commission....
• United States
1 Jul 11
I would definitely report the situation to the right authorities because kids should not be neglected. They do not know how to care for themselves. Thats why the parents are there to make sure they have what they need to live a good day to day life. They should at least get a bath or shower once a week. They should be fed at least 3 times a week also. You were doing the right thing by being there for the toddler. I cant believe she is pregnant again.
• United States
6 Jul 11
Thank you for your response =] I just got off the phone with authorities, so hopfully something will be done.
@Amanda81587 (3046)
• United States
1 Jul 11
I understand your worries. I see how you do not want your husband to lose his job or cause problems but I would still report him. Honestly jobs can be replaced the lives of children and their childhoods can not be. If you were to call children's services they would keep you anonymous and they would inspect the house hold and talk to the kids. She would automatically get a negative because she is not living in a proper living arrangment for her and her children so I do not see how the girls husband would know it was you guys. It could have been a neighbor who saw and heard them. All I would be able to think about is how horrible the lives of those kids must be. I would feel guilty if I did not help them. Children need a voice and since they are too young they need someone to speak for them. Have you ever read the book " a boy named it" look it up and read it.
• United States
6 Jul 11
I believe David Pelzer wrote all those books && yes I read them all. && yes i cried very hard through each one of his books. And you're right, they can not speak for themselves. Thank you for your response and this morning I did call to report them =]
@moirai (2261)
• Philippines
1 Jul 11
I think maybe you can try to talk to her first (and her boyfriend too, or any other relative of hers). I don't know if it will have any good effect. She might get irritated and say you're meddling or something. But I wouldn't let that stop me, if it were me in your place, because I'm just being concerned for the children. I actually think it is right to report her. But I would talk to her first about it before going to authorities. Serves two purposes: a) in case she listens and improves after the talk, then it won't need to go any further, and b) if she persists, that serves as her warning before I report her.
1 person likes this
• Jamaica
1 Jul 11
I will suggest you report the matter to the child development agency,as they will not inform that you report the matter.Children need love and affection, not kicks and thumbs.This parent is very careless and violent towards her children so it is best that the children be brought to a place of safety because she is displaying bad parenting skills.
1 person likes this
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
1 Jul 11
For me if you think it is better for her then why not?.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Jul 11
Perhaps reporting it should have been the right decision you could have made but it's not your fault. Child neglect seems to be a vague subject when reporting child abuse and it should be a part of it. If you think about it, neglecting a child isn't the best thing a parent can do so it should be some form of crime.
1 person likes this
@Amber313 (13)
• United States
1 Jul 11
This is a serious problem. I would definitely suggest you report it. When you report neglect or abuse you will be anonymous for your safety. You have to understand something here we are talking about a little child. Can you imagine how his life is?I wanna cry just knowing there are people out there like this !.
@jujunme (2448)
• United States
1 Jul 11
I will report ANYTHING regarding the abuse or neglect of child as i have no tolerance for this. i truly believe some people should not have children, since there are those who by their behavior make it very clear they take no responsibility toward their child and think nothing of neglecting or abusing them either mentally or physically and IMO, children that are treated in this way should be removed from homes like this and given to those who will treat them as they should be treated with care and love. IMO, i think you should report her immediately regardless of her boyfriend working with yours, since how would you feel if one day the Mother goes too far and brings unthinkable harm to this baby?
1 person likes this
• Australia
6 Jul 11
Yes you should, your story gave me a shiver down my spine. It's horrible that just anyone can have a child and it takes a caring person to recognise when someone is being neglected. I can't believe they only had 2 baths the whole time you were there that is enough to get them taken off her alone. You shouldn't feel as though you are doing anything wrong by reporting them. You have defineatly given her a chance to prove herself and some people dont care about their children at all and don't deserve them. What type of life is that for those poor children. Atleast they were shown a little love when you were staying there. I think follow your heart and do what you know is right no matter how hard or wrong it might feel. Someone needs to stand up for those children because they can't stand up for themselves yet and by the time they can it could be too late. OH bad parents and child abuse makes me so angry!
• United States
6 Jul 11
Thank you for your response! I followed my heart and just got off the phone with CPS. so hopefully I made a difference.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
7 Jul 11
Hi LexaExpress, Welcome to Mylot! That's extreme neglect and also abuse. I would call and tell them just what you have told us here. They won't just take the kids from her unless they are in real danger. First they usually try to work with the mother and help her to be a better mom. If she loves her kids and does not want to lose them then she will put in the effort. If not then she deserves what she gets. It's tough because no one wants to see the kids go to foster care but that really is a last resort. You can report anonymously.
@Hatley (164471)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Jul 11
lesaexpress the way to do that is to ask them not to use your name at all just report where it is and what is happening and that way it will not jeopardize your boyfriends job.I would report them as thats what childrens protective agency wants people to do when they see child abuse.you should not just let it go really. especially if she is pregnant again.