Do guys really flirt even if they are already committed to someone else?

@chiyosan (29383)
Philippines
July 2, 2011 9:26pm CST
What do you think? I mean would you agree? and would you think flirting is really common to all guys even if they know they are already committed to their girlfriends and sometimes even they have wives but why do they still flirt with other girls, at work, or girls they have just met... why do you think this happens?
2 people like this
13 responses
@andy77e (5165)
• United States
3 Jul 11
Well I think it's a mistake to be 'committed' to a girlfriend. That is what a girlfriend is... it is a girl... whose a friend. Commitment is when you are married. When you are married, then you are married. So yes, guys typically flirt with girls when they are not married. And just because he's your boyfriend, doesn't mean he's your husband. He's a 'boy' who is a 'friend'. That is what boyfriend means. It doesn't mean committed faithful spouse, because he's not a spouse that promised to be committed or faithful. Now if he proposes to you, and you get engaged, then that is a commitment to marriage, and then yes, if he's flirting around, you need to find someone else.
1 person likes this
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
25 Mar 13
Hi there, i do respect your pov but it seemed to me that you are saying that men should only be faithful when they are already married, or is soon to be married ? but i would not agree with it. i'd say you should be faithful and committed to your girlfriend because that is a first step into a marriage.
@gaiza12 (4889)
• Philippines
24 Oct 11
I will probably be saying that there are only some guys who does this. Not to generalize since I know some guys who are really committed to their wives or gfs. My bf for example is loyal to me. I know he doesn't flirt with any other girls he meets. I know I am sure of it because I have known him for 5 years and his friends around him would probably be telling if he flirts with other girls. I think guys who flirts with others basically are those that are not really true about their feelings with whom they are with now.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
25 Mar 13
Hi there! there are guys who does this, and sometimes even if they know that the lady is already attached, they still try to flirt with them, they themselves are attached, and yet they still do something like this and purposely flirt for whatever reason they may have. thanks so much gaiza for your response.
@nurseclare (2210)
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
Most guys are really flirt1 I don't know what's in their minds but it's their nature to flirt. I think they find it so exciting and it adds spices in their lives which i think is very wrong! But yea, I'm trying to get use to it and tried myself to ignore it if ever I'll found out his flirting with other girls. And if i see him soon I'll kick his face!like seriously and leave his heart bleeding, revenge is sweeter!
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
25 Mar 13
it must be exciting to flirt and to make a lady smile and think of you as someone that is really a good at making women fall for them. =P thank you so much for your response to the discussion. have a good day!
• Jacksonville, Florida
3 Jul 11
I think flirting is common but not once you are married. I think harmless flirting happens a lot and I don't think it's horrible but I still don't like it because who knows how far harmless flirting goes when your not around... I think men and women do it although I have seen it more in men. I think a man possibly cannot even help it, if they see a woman that attracts them I think it's almost automatic for them...
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
25 Mar 13
it is common for those who are unattached and for those who are still looking for someone - but to me when you are already attached, you shouldn't be flirting with anyone, or someone even if you think it is harmless.
@GemmaR (8526)
3 Jul 11
I don't know what it is about guys, but a lot of them do flirt despite the fact that they are supposed to be with other people at the time. I think that sometimes they need confirmation that other women are interested in them, almost as an insurance policy if they break up with their current partner they will not be worrying about being "on the market" for too long. I don't think that it is respectful though, particularly those men who insist on flirting with other people even though their partners are in the same room with them. That's just rude, and I often think that they're just trying to show off.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
25 Mar 13
Hi gemma, that's true - its so rude when people flirt knowing their partners is just around... and its cheating to me if they have the intention of other things than friendship even if their partner is not around and then they started flirting!!
• Philippines
3 Jul 11
I think player guys tend to find thrill on flirting with other girls and not being caught. If they can stay uncaught, it brings a good feeling for the player guy that his skills in womanizing is excellent. Another reason may be due to something lacking with their relationships. Another reason that I can think of is that playboy men oftenly looks for competition. They got this notion that he who gets more girls is the man.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
25 Mar 13
Hi there agent, i wonder why this is so.. but then i think maybe its about the men's ego and pride that when they have many women around them. thank you so much for your response!
• Philippines
3 Jul 11
well for me I like honesty and faithfulness, but there is no bad thing in flirting unless guys you don't go beyond your limitations, still you remember that you are already committed. Flirting isn't bad it is same like when you are joking we need also others to rock our world, but you need to be aware on temptations.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
25 Mar 13
Hi gloria! thank you so much for your response! most of the response i get in the discussion topic tells me there is no harm in flirting when they are only not going to go beyond what was expected of them. I agree that there are many temptations but my worries are that what may started out as a harmless flirting may lead to a very irresistible temptation.
• Philippines
3 Jul 11
I think there is such a things as "harmless flirting" and I allow these on my relationship with my boyfriend. We have to admit that at some point, we want the feeling of being the center of attention to someone. As long as it doesn't go beyond of what is appropriate for us, flirting is okay.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
25 Mar 13
Thank you so much for your response... Harmless flirting may lead to something if tthe person doing it does not know when to stop and control it... I think that there are many things that our partners should know and learn to draw boundaries from.
• India
3 Jul 11
Hi Chiyosan, Many a times things like these happen even though a guy may be in a relationship or even married. As long as he is not cheating then it is acceptable. Its ok if he does it in a joking way and at the end of it all he is still in love with his girl/woman. But as we all know how guys can be we often cross that limit and make mistakes we should not be doin. Hey but dont you think so that the same is also done by girls and women. I think they should also blame themselves equally for starting things. Everyone keeps pointing at the guy as to he did this and he did that even though he is committed. But at the end of it as I said if done jokingly its fine, crossing the limit is not accepted at all..
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
25 Mar 13
Well yes it can be so... but there are just more to it, most men would do more than flirt and flirting by men leads to something more... =( I'd say that just a few flirt is okay but never must one go beyond something that could lead to a more serious thing that could hurt and break someone's heart - their partners, perhaps.
@sanjay91422 (2728)
• India
3 Jul 11
I think these guys are habitual to the flirting so they can not do anything else but flirt. Suppose you have a habit of sleeping then you can not do anything about it in same way if they have the habit of flirting they can not do anything about it. Have a nice day.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
well i can understand that habits are hard to "kill" that is right.. but then when you are attached, is it just not a simple common sense to know that you need to hold yourself and prevent yourself in doing so because you are already attached, and you supposedly love your partner enough not to give her/him ideas that you are flirting with others.
@tiina05 (2319)
• Philippines
3 Jul 11
hello, You know that is one of the main factor of problem between the relationship of husband/wives, boyfriend/girlfriend. Both party are not really contented and still want to flirt. Lets open to the fact that not just boys do this lets admit that it also happened to girls. right? We flirt, they flirt vise versa. but usually boys are more committed to this sin. I dont really know what are their reasons, they just maybe not contented or still looking for something.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
well yes, of course i would agree to this a hundred percent and more. Some women just love the attention and even if they are already attached or married, they know they are beautiful and attractive, and so they love to also flirt. However, what dangers I see are with men who purposely do this and would even hide their true status so as to flirt and to court women they find attractive.
@dfollin (12503)
• United States
3 Jul 11
It depends on the guy....some do and some don't.I don't think it is right.But,I guess it is up to the woman that they are commited to.I know some couples where the man flirts with other women and his wife or girlfriend doesn't mind because she trusts him. Personally I would not like it.But,just talking to someone(like a co worker,friend,relative) or looking at a pretty girl walking down the street is not flirting.Some women have to learn the difference.
@chiyosan (29383)
• Philippines
19 Feb 13
hi there dfollin, thank you for your response! =) i agree with you, flirting with others when you are already committed is not right... I mean, it is just about respect you give your partner. That if you respect them enough, you would not even think of doing this so as not to offend her/him. Yes we say we trust our partners, and yes this trust does not only mean we have to let them do anything they want only because we are assured they will come back to us at the end of the day... for me i think i trust my partner but i still expect him to behave accordingly. Of course, what you said is true, looking at a woman, or admiring a handsome man walking is not flirting at all.
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
4 Jul 11
I guess some guys are just being funny and very accommodating and then,mistaken for flirting. The problem is,this start with friendly talk,kidding and teasing. Then the girl will mistaken it for flirting and starts showing liking to guys,and guys are too sensitive to feel if the girl like him or giving hint...then the problem starts. So,guys flirt because girls give the motives. Guys won't just jump and say he like the girl is he is already committed or married,unless the guy is a master cheater. So,girls should be aware and smart with dealing these kind of guys. And it can't be blame to guys all the time,girls flirts even knowing that the guy is married or committed already.