looking for right person or changing the person into the right one.

Malaysia
July 6, 2011 10:44am CST
my friends and I have discussed a lot about this and I finally end it up by bringing it up here. In love, we always say, we are waiting for the right person, we wont start before we find our Mr.right or ms. right. How we know that he or she is our right person? There's another way of talking, is to change the person that you love into the right person. Doesn't mean by changing the characters of the one you love but to change each other's characters so that can fit the best.. Which one is the real thing for love?
2 people like this
13 responses
@mssnow (9495)
• United States
6 Jul 11
You can't change anyone to be the right person. You might think that you have but in the end the person will be whoever they are. As fa as mr/mrs Right. It is who you feel is MR/mrs right at the time Later on they might not be that right person.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Jul 11
I agree...You can't change a person to whom what what we want them to be.Everyone has their own personality and most of the time they are hiding it from us.We can't really know the real person during courtship or on the first years of marriage.You'll probably know him/her better after you have been in the same house together after several years.I think there is no Mr and Ms Right, it's how you adjust to one another that really matters.He/She is the right one if he will make you a better person in the long run not someone who makes you bitter and miserable.
@petersum (4526)
• United States
6 Jul 11
There are some people I've met who say that you should marry a sixteen year old, or whatever is the minimum legal age in your country. Their logic is that it is much easier to train a puppy than an old dog. I think you will agree that this is not applicable to humans. I don't believe it is possible to change someone into Mr/Ms Right but compromise is required in all relationships.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
19 Sep 11
i do not believe on the right person or not. Hmm.. my point is.. the right person for you is the person of your choice. Let's accept the fact that nobody is perfect. Some say if that someone really loves you, he/she will change for you.
@HanaHun (13)
• China
18 Sep 11
ITs really very easy. Write down what kind of person you desire, not who exactly , but what kind of values they should have, go into the details, hat they shouldn't and should do... Write down anything you believe by heart is the best for you. ANd then learn it. AT EVERY MOMENT KNOW what is what you want and don't settle for anybody far from what you want- of course might be you will find exactly what you want but most of the times people need to compromise 1 or 2 things.. If you will remember who you desire, you will start attracting only these... In the meantime if you must as well maintain working on yourself and being happy with yourself, that way you wil attract the right happy people :) NEVER EVER DESIRE OR ATTEMPT TO CHANGE THE PERSON, cause by ding that you clearly are not with the right person, secondly you will ruin his/her's life. Everybody who loves somebody wil be willing to compromise at the things that are the most important, but IT IS WRONG TO BE WITH SOMEONE who is too different and you don't love them for who they already are.
@jdex_143 (1094)
• Philippines
12 Jul 11
Hi, there! I think, when you're in a relationship, you tend to change a little that you don't like with your better half. But that doesn't mean that the person doesn't love you for who you are. Sometimes, the reason for that is that he/she cared about you a lot. I don't think that changing someone into a better one is a negative thing. I think, it's better because it's for your own sake also.
@vivamir (673)
8 Jul 11
In my opinion..neither should have to change anything personal to their character- making sacrifices for one another is totally different, but having to change WHO YOU ARE to please another..your playing to be another, and the role will soon wear off..x
• India
7 Jul 11
You are exactly right we always think we want to be with the right person or wait for the person that exactly fits our life with him/her but the actual love comes when we understand the person inspite of various difficulties and try to accept the person that is called real love. When we are in love we always want things to go very happily we want love, affection, care from our love but when the opposite strikes we just dont want to face it over here is the actual love ours to be tested and one who wins the battle inspite of all the problems in the relationship is said to be met for each other and they are probably the right one for them.
• Philippines
7 Jul 11
You won't be able to change a persons character, that easily, not unless you motivate that person to be like you. But in reality, we do acquire our own attitudes and character and to tell the person to be what they are is simply impossible if they are not willing. To love the person as they are is much more acceptable than to manipulate them of what they have to become. That will never be love at all. It is your fault now if in the first place you know what they are and you keep on pushing them to change. You are just choking them in the neck. Choose whom you should love and trust, but in order to know if the person is really the one for you, then just obey the Will of God which is said in His Word so that you won't compromise.
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
7 Jul 11
"There's another way of talking, is to change the person that you love into the right person" if you love him, then you accept him for who he is he is already 'right' for you you will fall for him somehow, no matter how 'wrong' it feels, whatever people say if you mean someone you like sure if you both want to change, you might like each other more, and who knows one day it will escalate into love? I used to call it the right person too but now I don't believe in right or wrong anymore especially when love is involved, there is never a sure answer
@elmiko (6640)
• United States
7 Jul 11
i don't think its anyone's responsibility or obligation to try and change someone that they have an intimate relationship with. you never know if they will change because it could just be who they are naturally whether their a jerk or not. true love is about loving someone for who they are and if it requires trying changing them then its not true love. still, even though someone maybe a jerk their still maybe a chance the real true goodness is inside of them waiting to come out.
• Philippines
6 Jul 11
you love a person because of who they are but not who you can make them to. in love there's no right or wrong person, because love understands and accepts.
• Jacksonville, Florida
6 Jul 11
My favorite saying I have heard is "You cannot fix a fixer upper". My parents always told me this because when I was much younger I would always go for guys that were not good for me. I always said well I can help them, I can change them into doing better. My parents would always go back to this saying. As for knowing which one is right for you, there is something in your heart where you just know you cannot live without this person in your life. That's how I felt with my husband. I just knew we were meant to be together forever...
@mods196621 (3631)
• Philippines
6 Jul 11
When both of you are in the relationship those changes maybe made and the right person you are talking about will come true. For love we are not sure when it comes and who and how. It comes across our way and we don't know what will happen. If you feel that she/ or he is the right person for you well that is only the time you will said she/he comes as the right for you. but the truth is you don't noticed that its truly the right. Only you can feel is the love and love conquers every thing under the sun. It correct the wrong and from that you will realized the truth. Well only love can say what is right for you. And this will only happen when you meet her or him unexpectedly.