What Would You Do If Your Wife Claims She Is Pregnant?

Philippines
July 10, 2011 5:55am CST
Okay let me be more direct what would you do if you found out that your wife lied to you about being pregnant? There's this couple I know who have been fighting a lot because of a lot of issues like money and family. They do not have a child yet so the wife claimed that she is pregnant so the guy won't leave. After being suspicious the guy brought a home pregnancy kit and found out that he is being lied to and manipulated. The wife has been manipulating a lot of things off late...well since the beginning of their relationship and her hubby is kinda fed off. So, if it were you what would you do if you found out it was a lie? Would you really leave her? What do you think would be its effect to the marriage?
4 people like this
18 responses
@moondancer (7434)
• United States
10 Jul 11
For someone to lie to their spouse is a real issue to deal with to begin with! If you can not trust the person you are with then you can not be with them. It's that simple. You must be able to trust the one you are with. Love is important, trust is important, in fact if I lied to my husband and told him that we were having a baby when in fact we were not that would be a flagrant lie and a reason for him to distrust me. For him to not have any respect for me any more and once you have lost the respect you had for someone you just can not get that back. You must Love, Trust, and Respect the person you are with. I would expect him to leave me if he found I was lying about having a baby when we were in fact not having a baby. It is a deceitful act to do this to someone!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Jul 11
You are right about this one. I guess guys do not like manipulation and perhaps for the meantime they might stay but leave when they get fed up. I guess it's a matter of time when he gets fed up with the manipulation that he might leave. Yes when one looses his trust over you he looses respect and that could be so bad.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jul 11
I would wonder what is causing this conflict in the first place. Like I said below, there were lots of times I thought I was pregnant. Even when I got a negative reading on a pregnancy test I still I thought the test was wrong. I thought I was pregnant and I would go to the doctor only to find that I wasn't. I feel if the man is quitting on her he shouldn't be sleeping with her at all to begin with. Just my thoughts.
• United States
10 Jul 11
I know someone that this happened to, he was told that "she" was pregnant. He did the right thing and married her. He later found out that she was not and she told so many lies all the time. She took him for all of his money every chance she got. After about 6 months of this he got a divorce. This is what happens when someone lies all the time. It turned out she could not get pregnant at all. She told so many lies it was hard to tell where one started and another stopped. This young person got out of that bad relationship and is wiser for it. Yes, sometimes you do have false negatives...meaning you can be pregnant and the test says you are not. This is why it's best to go to the doctor and have a blood test taken to see if you are pregnant and not rely on an over the counter urine test to find out.
@surfer222 (1715)
• Indonesia
10 Jul 11
i think relationship based on lies will never worked out... sooner or later they will separated, but i hope they do it before there's a child... because child can make things more complicated... i'm not married but if i was, i'll get a divorced... not because she's not pregnant but because she lied... but then again if it was me i would never get married in the first place...
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jul 11
bnbcv + There is always the possibility that the woman was pregnant and may have had a miscarriage or thought she was. If she in fact was trying to manipulate her husband than it is not a good relationship as these are based on trust. I have suffered a miscarriage so I know how quickly that could happen. One week I had an ultrasound done and saw the heartbeat and by the next week my baby was gone. v,,
• United States
11 Jul 11
not sure why this comment is weird maybe admin can fix it.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
11 Jul 11
I was going to say it looked like a child had gotten on the keyboard lol.
@picjim (3003)
• India
10 Jul 11
A relationship based on lies would hardly be on a firm footing.If i was in his place, i would seek a divorce.This person can manipulate and make things worse for him.How can you trust someone like this in a marriage where success depends on understanding one another and being there through thick and thin?
• Philippines
10 Jul 11
you have a point there...yes i believe so too that a relationship based on lies will never ever work out.I pity him too being with a complicated woman. I hope he wakes up and yes seek a divorce...she could ruin everything for him. However on the other hand do you believe she can change?
@lumenmom (1996)
• United States
16 Jul 11
The issue is not so much in her lying about the pregnancy, the issue is that she feels the need to lie at all to her spouse and that she is willing to lie about something so very important and that she does not respect him enough to be truthful. I cannot say whether he should stay with her or not, but when you live with a chronic liar, your relationship then becomes a lie. There is no trust and therefore no real happiness. He has to decide if he can continue to live in that relationship knowing it to be what it is or if he wants to leave and find someone who can be honest and trustworthy.
@dorannmwin (36698)
• United States
14 Jul 11
Well, I could never have a wife that claimed that she is pregnant since I am a straight woman. With that said, if I was to find out that my spouse was lying to me in such a big way, I really do believe that it would be the end of the relationship because if there is not trust in the relationship, then I really don't think that there is any way that a relationship would be able to survive. Without trust, there is not a relationship.
@mommyboo (13198)
• United States
11 Jul 11
This type of behavior is the fastest way to end a relationship. It never works to lie in order to trap someone, and it also rarely works to keep someone around to tell them you are pregnant, whether you actually are or not. Honestly, my opinion about fighting about family is that it makes no sense. When a couple becomes a couple, the most important thing (and the two people who make the decisions) should be THAT COUPLE. Not other members of their family. So the family thing should be off the table. Money... well, that's something a lot of people fight about randomly and that has various reasons. If your friends love each other, maybe they should go to counseling. They need to talk about their goals for their lives and if it's a good idea to reach them together - or whether neither of them really want the same things and shouldn't be together.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
For me if she lied it is not good sine she is true to you if you found that you are not love now to your partner bad it is.
@Cutie18f (9563)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
Well, such a lie committed by the wife is something serious. The guy should not tolerate such a thing. What kind of person is that wife who makes such big lies like that? What other lies is she capable of making in the future? That incident alone is enough to make the man decide whether he still wants to live with that woman for the rest of his life after she had betrayed him like that.
• United States
11 Jul 11
i think if my wife had lied to me about this big of a thing i think it would bring up alot of trust issues and im not sure i would want to stay with someone like that.
@toniganzon (53688)
• Philippines
11 Jul 11
It would have such a great effect on the marriage because TRUST is the basic foundation of every relationship. BEing manipulative is a very scary attitude, especially if your partner is doing that to control you. I couldn't see any growth in that kind of relationship. If i couldn't breathe in a relationship or my personality couldn't even grow at all, and of course if trust is no longer there, definitely i'm going to call it quits.
• Philippines
10 Jul 11
That is awful. I won't stay with her, that's for sure. I don't like manipulative women in the first place so I don't think I'd ever end up marrying one.
@sjvg1976 (18388)
• Delhi, India
10 Jul 11
Hello candyfairy21, In relationship one should not lie with with her/his partner as once your lie is caught it ruins relationship. I always maintain it with my wife and don't manipulate things as they sometimes when caught can be serious. i would have done what the hubby did. I also would have checked the pregnancy & found out that she is not pregnant i would have left her.
@AmbiePam (50434)
• United States
10 Jul 11
I would insist she go to counseling. I would keep a tight leash on her until she proved she changed. I might accompany her to counseling as well. There has to be some kind of deeper problem that isn't being dealt with. I would not divorce her yet. I think there is cause to be distrustful, and she would have to earn the trust back, but I would work on the marriage.
@cutepenguin (6457)
• Canada
10 Jul 11
That's a pretty big lie. I don't think it indicates a very healthy relationship at all, so maybe there isn't really a relationship to save or a reason to stay.
• United States
10 Jul 11
Oh my goodness...that's nasty! It doesn't sound like a good marriage at this point in the least. Have they been married long and how old are they? If she's been like this for quite some time, I don't see any future for either of them. Heaven knows what she has been manipulating for the course of their marriage. I think it's a horrible thing to do to someone and if she's low enough to do this, she'll be low enough to do anything. She might even REALLY get pregnant and then he's stuck. He'd better take a good look at this woman and decide if this is what he wants for the rest of his life. And, if they ever do have children, what sort of manipulating will she do to them? This is not a good marriage between two people and the trust is gone. It sounds like it would be almost impossible to work out, and if it does for the moment, he'd better be on his toes with his eyes and ears open.
• United States
10 Jul 11
Could be that she isn't lying. I've thought I was pregnant lots of times that I wasn't. I really wanted to be pregnant and almost every month I was going to the doctor because I thought I had morning sickness, or I didn't get my period for a couple of months. I'm not saying she isn't lying, but it could be that she wants to be. As for the pregnancy, if the hubby is so adamant that she is manipulating and whatever, and he wants to leave, why is he sleeping with her so that there could even be a possibility of her getting pregnant? If things are so bad, I wouldn't be sending her the message that she is cared for by sleeping with her. I think the two of them would benefit from marriage counseling. Marriage is a give and take between the two people. The man isn't the boss and the woman isn't the boss. All too often the man or the woman feel they own the relationship and the other is just there to mind the other. This is wrong... it's a partnership, and the two should be trying to solve their problem, not trying to make it worse. It's almost never just the female causing the problem, nor is it usually the male causing the problem.. it's the two of them together being too bull headed to get along. One of them sometimes thinks the answer is to go outside of the marriage relationship to catch on with another mate, and that is wrong. The two should be solving their problem together, and they shouldn't quit on each other. That's what happens, one usually quits on the other. If the man has already quit on his wife, he shouldn't be sleeping with her and complaining about her... and vice versa.
• United States
10 Jul 11
Well, I'm not a relationship expert but in my opinion (everyone has one of those right?) I don't think this is a healthy relationship at all. I mean why lie if you truly love someone? I don't understand that. As for as the effect on the marriage? Well, there will definitely be a lot of mistrust and that can lead to arguments which can be devastating.