Truth or a LIE?

Are you married?

A good relationship can not be built on a foundation of lies. sooner or later the relationships will crumble. a relationship needs to have trust and you just can't have that when your partner is lying to you.

If you are sure that he is lying, then I don't think it's a good thing. If you just THINK he is lying and you aren't sure...then you can try to find out if he is lying. Trust is very important in a relationship. It's not good IF he is lying to you ...and it's not good if you doubt that he is either.

A good relationship is built on trust and honesty. Once you have caught him lying to you, you will probably never believe anything he tells you. It sounds like your relationship is in trouble. You probably are sensitive about some things but you might have reason to be.

I guess it really all depends on how you feel. Personally, I don't know what age he might be, but it seems that he is a bit immature, again that's just my opinion. It seems to be that his level of maturity is a bit off and he needs to realize it. Personally, if you are looking for a stable commitment, someone that you want to settle down with, this doesn't sound like the type and/or he is not ready to settle down. If I were you and really liked this person and feel that you might consider having a future with him, I would sit down and have a serious conversation with him. Let him know how you feel, if he feels the same hopefully he'll change, if not at least you know not to waste your time. Again, that is what I would personally do. But I would consider having a serious conversation with at least so that you know where you stand in the relationship. I wish you the best of luck!!!

Its so sad and hurting. I feel you should talk and try to make things in your favor but there is a limit to it if things cant get on track. Just don't accept getting fooled tome and again. You need to make some decision.

personally I wouldn't bother who buys friends drinks, how many, how much he is an adult, anything happens due to drinking too much, well let him learn from it most men I know play games, I played WoW which is similar to Dota if he plays in the weekend, he can still work in weekdays, can't he? you're not married to him yet, so it doesn't matter he works or not if you work, just don't lend your money easily, that way he will learn to earn his own money his friend teasing him, maybe just teasing you to see how you react maybe the other girl likes him, but not necessarily he likes her too don't let that upset you, he will be overjoyed if it's true he is two-timing you, you will know sooner or later keep it light until you are sure where the relationship is heading

that is really annoying. i know how you feel, coz i've been into somewhat similar situation as yours. and guess what i did.... i just gave him a dose of his own medicine! i intentionally lied to him and do things that i know he'll be pissed off. and it worked, he felt sorry and couldn't blame me for hurting him. once a person starts to lie to you, whether a white lie or whatever, it is still a lie. there's a tendency that he'll do it over and over again, unless he's mature enough to realize that lying is really annoying.

For a relationship to exist, there must be TRUST. With what you have said about your "BOYfriend" I don't understand why you continue to believe you are in a relationship. If you are with someone who makes you so unhappy, Move on. If he does not care about the relationship, you are wasting your time. Everyday you stay in this situation is a day in your life that is wasted, and you don't get those days back to do over. Take this as a lesson learned, grow from the experience, and go find someone that will makes you HAPPY, not crazy. Time To Move On.

Hi daiweian, Trust is needed in all relationships. I wouldn't say you are immature, but i would suggest to talk to him, understand why he behaves so indifferently and how much love or importance he has on you. You need to talk him understand whats going wrong with him and decide the life.

I always said that I prefer truth, because it is easier to accept things when I know about them from the person who did that thing, rather than being lied in my face. I feel so mad when somebody lies to me, because I consider that the other one thinks that I am stupid or an idiot, which I am certainly not. You have said that your partner plays Dota games, without your permission. I don't know what Dota games are, but I consider that a person doesn't need to ask permission to do what he wants to do. He has to inform you, but not asking permission. I am sorry to tell you this, but every individual has the right of doing what he wants. Talking about it, informing you is good, but a person has to ask permission only from the superiors, not from the partners. At least this is how I see life. As for teasing about other girls, this is our nature, you cannot do anything against it. Teasing is a thing, cheating is another.

Hello Daiweian06, If you him so tight, he might just be so eager to get out and be free. On drinking. If you've known him before you we're into the relationship and he's already been drinking, so it should not be a problem. I mean, you can't just prohibit him from drinking just because you are already in a relationship. You can always of course remind him that he shouldn't be spending much on his drinking spree. You can't change him, never change a person. Just guide him, remind him, and make him realize what he's doing is wrong. On playing DOTA. Again, did you know that he's been playing before you were in a relationship? I've known a lot of guys who are so hooked up with DOTA even after college. Things will change and so will your boyfriend. Yes, it's some how "immature" thing but it's not easy to let go and leave that game behind. It's actually an addiction. Just help him let go of that. And nagging and constant arguing about that thing is not a solution. It would just aggravate his case. You can suggest, "hey, you know, I don't want to go nagging on you every time I learned you're playing DOTA again. So I would just like to say, I really think, it's not a very good habit. At the end of the day, you really can't get anything from it." An open communication would be good for the relationship. On jealousy. If you are sure of his love for you then just don't bother. You know, I didn't get jealous with my EX that often before, because I know and am secured of her love with me. She opens up with me about some guys courting or trying their way to her, but she just simply don't give them a chance. Because she's so into me. And I am so secured with that. I can feel it. I guess, you know what I mean. You will know if the person is really in love with you. Being secured with your boyfriend's love would help you get over that jealousy. But most all, and again, talk to him. I am not saying it's easy to do. It's a risk actually, but I guess it would help. On having a family. You can actually talk to him about what he's doing in his life. And his plans in life. Knowing what's he planning to do, would help you figure him out a little bit. I mean, if you know where he intend to head to, you'd at least have a hint why he's doing what he's doing. Of course it's not a good idea, that he's playing DOTA and drinking almost often when he's planning to marry you soon. So talk about it too. Again open communication would help, and be honest in every way to him. And tell him, you'd want him to be honest. It's a risk being honest, but it's liberating. VERITAS LEVIRABIT VOS I have the feeling that you haven't talked to him yet? Communication would help you think things out. And take a step at a time from there. God bless. Regards, chuyins

Why has he lied to you? have you also asked that question to yourself? Maybe he is afraid to tell because you will start nagging him (sorry for the term, I cannot think of the term similar to nag). Or maybe he felt being locked in a cage. For example, why does he lie to you whenever he played DOTA? Maybe he felt that you are controlling his hobby. Sometimes, a husband needs some times of to be with himself. It is not bad to play or go out once in a while. When a man tries to have good times once in a while, he is not being irresponsible. In a relationship, if one is lying to his or her partner, then both of them have some serious problem. If you have healthy relationship (have a give and take relationship) he would not need to lie to you. Maybe you should give him some time off. Maybe you are becoming very strict to him. You should examine both yourselves and think why does this things happens to you. I just want to share to you my relationship to my wife. My wife knew that I am playing computer games eventhough we now have a daughter. And as for me, I know that it will not hinder my way of building my family. I still do my job as a father.

it is because he is prone to temtation that he cant resist

About the dota game i think it is just okey but just for him to relax and just for sometime not really he will focus hes all attention in computer and forget about his responsibilities and all specially his responsibility to you.. I think you should talk to him about your concerns, because i believe that a good relationship has agood communication.

However... feel cheated was very annoying. Moreover, for example, by the people we consider that our soulmates. But maybe i think there is something wrong with the relationshif between tou and your soulmate. Or maybe even something wrong with you (sorry). So, it should be before allready further, try to get communicate well and openly with him. Then try to invite your soulmate to introspection about your realitonshof with him. Then ask him for mutual self-introspection.

The key to a good relationship is honesty and communication. It would be best if you tell your boyfriend that you are not happy because you feel that he is lying to you. Listen to his explanations. There are times that we may just be paranoid. We cannot control our partner's life and honestly I do not think that they would have to ask permission just to play a video game. But then if these things are affecting your relationship, you should talk to him. ;)

I feel sad with your situation. I'm sorry. I think, you must confront him with the things that you want him to do and the things that you don't want him to do. You must give him a sense of idea that he has other responsibilities to make as a matured person. Good luck with your relationship and I hope you could change the way he acts.

I think there should not be any choice between the "truth' and a "lie" as we all should go the truth. But in your case, i think you're right to be both immature and sensitive in this case. As if you believe in something there must be something that pushes you towards this.

My dear if you are unhappy please do get out now. I know you love and are attached to him but he will not change unless he is ready. You can ask him to do the right thing and think of the future but he won't until he is ready. I have given many relationship readings and advice over the years and if your already unhappy and he won't even listen to you and is lying to you he will continue to do so and alot of times to just tell you what you want to hear so that he can go and do what he really wants and it doesn't help when he has friends that do the same thing. Maybe he does have good qualities but do you really want to take your young life and wait on him to get it together? Waste time? Or would you rather find someone that is on your level and want something out of life besides drinking and games think about that love.