Problems with roommate!

She could have informed you through the phone that she wanna paint the rooms.Some people are like this just dont share things,but will be very much good and pure in heart. Any way,You are lucky she has just painted your rooms and brought some good furnitures to your room,what more thats with her cash.This is better news to be happy :-)Go and tell her friendly that dont be like this in future and never do this again and dont broke the friendship.

Oh wow! I definitely see why you are angry. I am not sure how I would react to this. I would certainly have something to say though since the flat is half yours. I just left a bad roommate situation so I am not sure I am the one to respond here, but I don't like the fact that she did this while you were gone and neglected to say something about it. It was inconsiderate in a way. If she is your friend she must have known how you would feel. Then again, is it any chance maybe she wanted to surprise you and do something for you? I mean that could have been what she wanted to convey. If you guys have been friends for a while then most likely she wasn't going after upsetting you or trying to rock the boat in any way. Ask her what was her motive for doing this. Nothing corrects a situation like communication. You guys should be able to talk about this without things getting out of hand. I think you should talk to her about it and see what she says before you get too angry. Usually things can get corrected this way.

You're so right that things change when you start living with someone. This is why I'm hugely in favor of having a proper lease and conditions to cover major things that could occur between roommates. I know it's too late now for the living room - but you could create an agreement that stipulates that no one can make major changes to the flat without the others consent. You can include other conditions such as having guests or significant others staying over (or moving in!), division of expenses, etc. Everyone thinks that friends don't need to take formal steps like written agreements but then, when something goes wrong, there's no easy way to find resolution Friends don't stay friends long if there is too much tension and disagreement. By the way, after reading all the responses, good for you on taking the high road and finding a positive view of the new living room

I know I wouldn't mind any positive change especially if it doesn't involve my cash. It could have been a surprise meant for you. I still get why you are upset, as I would probably also be, knowing that I, too must have my say on things that should happen or change inside my place. Anyway, I hope you would settle this issue in a calm manner. You could probably tell her how you felt about it at first and then say, nonetheless that it was a good change but remind her always to inform you on changes that should be done within your place. Good luck!

I was once like you, getting mad when major changes were made and i wasn't consulted at all. But now i just look at it as an effort made on the part of my friend in making our home comfortable to live in. But if she would ask me to pay for half of what she spent, now that would really make me mad coz i never wanted to change it anyway. But is she spent for everything, then i guess i just have to be thankful Maybe she just wanted to give you a surprise!

That is exactly the reason why I don't wanna live in with a close friend. I know living together and seeing the face all the time and stuffs like that can break the friendship. I have heard of it so much and I'm afraid to move in with my friend. Anyway about what happened to your room, I think it's best to just leave it the way it is coz what has been done has been done. Just tell her that she should have consulted it with you rather than making changes of her own and next time whenever we do anything that has to do with the room, let's talk and decide instead of just doing without consulting one of us.

hi bouncybug wow that was a bit overstepping things but it depends on hopw it looks to me,I mean if I loved the colors she chose and the new furniture I would be thrilled as this was done by her for free to me and i did not have to s hell out any money.but of course if I disliked the colors and the furniture then I guess I would be angry too.However maybe she felt she was doing you a surprise gift and that you would really enjoy the change. I would not get too upset with her as she did all the work.lol lol lol

Hi! Why would you need to get angry when someone spent money our of their own pocket to decorate the room and make it nicer. When staying with someone you will need to accept the good and bad of your roommate, or else you will be hard to stay together for a long time. It is a good experience to stay with someone who having a different background and thinking, and from there you will learn how to adapt to the environment. So, just accept what ever that are good unless it is a bad things.

Well, of course if i were in your shoes, i will be a bit offended because she didn't inform me about it. However, since it's her money she spent, well i will be happy, because she had our room have a new look. At least, i didn't spend a dime, yet we have a newly painted room with new furniture.

Oh, I'll probably get angry with her, smae as what you. She didn'y bother asking me as if she's the only person living in the flat. She doen't ahve any respect at all, she didn't texted you or give a call. But I hope you could patch up things really soon, I know yuo guys are so close and you wont throw everything just for the paint and the new furniture. Maybe she's trying her best to please you and want's you to be surprised. just think of it in a positive way. :) Cheer up!

Gosh.. I would definitely feel the same way as you. If that will ever happen to me, I would also get mad at her. She should've called you and asked you regarding the changes she wanted with your place before doing anything. It's as if she owns the place. She should've asked your permission. I hope you could settle that with your friend because it's not easy to hate a roommate whom you will see most of the time and you feel some hatred to her. :)

i never had a roommate at all so i don't know if i can give a good opinion about your case. but here's the thing, the fact that you share expenses for the flat means you have to consult each other prior to making changes, however small it is. i think what she did is not respectful, i would feel upset if that ever happens to me. or maybe, you shared too much closeness that she thought you wouldn't mind at all if she did some redecorating. whatever it is, she is your roommate and it wont feel nice if you hold grudges to each other. sort things out, talk about the issue and compromise that it wont happen again :)

If i were you, ofcourse i will angry to my roommate because she/he has no right to change things or even acquire some furnitures/appliances to display in my flat.

Wow!! I would be very upset if someone was to do this to me. Especially since my husband and I own this house. We have had interesting experiences ourselves from Renting to someone, or sharing with them. Some have even tried to take over our house, and think anything goes. Personally I would be wondering if she was not trying to figure out a way to have this place be hers?

well, what would I do? I regard this private change of living room aa totally no-respect sign for me. You two share the living room, right? then she has no right to change it wholely, at least not your part. I will talk to her and negotiate about that.

It would have been okay if she was sure that you would like the alterations. The problem is you don't and that really is a problem because people have different tastes and since their are two people living in the same flat she should have talked to you about it. It is a place where you will rest and relax and it is very important that you are loving the ambiance to help you live with it contently. I would also get angry unless if the alterations is exceptionally better than before and done by a professional. But even if she was an expert, she still should have spoken to you about it even just for "respect's" sake.