is this really natural for a husband to have another woman?

Philippines
July 13, 2011 5:01am CST
I was a seperated for more than 3 years now...the cause of our separations was of course he has another woman and he got it pregnant now he has a baby boy with her other woman.im not saying all man or husband is doing this maybe only few are remains loyal.its been a natural norm that its so common to husband to have another affair i dont know why..maybe theya re not happy or not contented to their wife..for me id done what a wife should be, to take care and serve him to the best of my ability, all of my friends told me how come my husband left us for another woman, even now i cant grasp the real answer why he left us for another woman..now i give him that freedom..I told him to love his woman and his new child build a new family..then again till when this vicious cycle stops .. or is just really normal for a husband to have multiple affair other than his wife?is this considered a macho image for a husband that someone attracted to him?what do you think why they do this?
3 people like this
16 responses
@nurseclare (2210)
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
I think it's their nature to look for another women and I hate it, it's 99% percent of cheating. I know someone that her husband got the mistress pregnant and they are still together.I don't know why some men are not contented with what their wife could offer. I am not yet married and hop to find someone loyal. I hope to God. And be strong with your situation now. :) Godbless
1 person likes this
• Philippines
17 Jul 11
yes nurseclare im praying too that you wont experienced what i experienced but nevertheless i do agree with you yes some men are not contented for what they have now..well thanks for the concern yes i was able to moved on already happy and have inner peace now..even no bf yet hahahah..waiting for my annulment soon..
• Philippines
27 Jul 11
Thank you so much for your prayers. You sound so concern to me, i appreciate that a lot. Thank GOD you feel better now! Don't get affected about men, boys are toys! hahaha just kidding around..lol I wish you happiness in life. GOD BLESS
@bluespygirl (2112)
• Philippines
14 Jul 11
I'm sorry to what had happened to you and your husband. :( this is really painful. There is a saying that men are born polygamous. And I think they really are. I haven't known any single men who haven't had an affair in a way or two. sad, but true. I can't imagine my husband having an affair but he had too. You are a strong woman that you are now separated. I don't know if I can be separated from my husband with the kids with me ofcourse. I just cant emotionally and financially. I love him so much
@jdex_143 (1094)
• Philippines
16 Jul 11
Men are so unfair. If they cheat, why can't a woman can't do so? Why is it that if a wife will have another affair, it's not morally acceptable and not publicly acceptable while when a husband cheats, most will say that it's normal? Life is almost always unfair. :(
• United States
14 Jul 11
Men are dogs and think with what is between their legs instead of the head on their shoulders. I suppose he thought that since you 2 have been separated for so long that the marriage was over so decided to move on. Men also have the tendency to lie about their marriage status. I was seeing this guy that said he was divorced. when i got pregnant I found out he lied to me that he was still married but separated that he and his wife was going to counseling but they didn't live together. Thank God he wasn't the father of my baby since I found out I was much further a long than I thought. I know sounds bad. I told him if I knew he was married he and I would have never happened. His reply "I know". I am so glad he isn't my baby's father since he reacted so badly when I told him. I think men can be dogs in general.
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
I believe that every human has given a chance to decide and God gives us free will. In this effect, your husband chose to decide that way and not only because he was influenced or so, but because it was his choice to do so and sin. You are right, not all man does this to their wife. My dad, for example is a servant of God and a role model because my parents have been happily married and still going strong for the past 37 years. If the foundation of faith of the husband and wife is not steadily holding on to Christ and obeying His Word, I do think that the enemy is there to target its main point, to destroy the family and he as done this with ministers and other preachers too. But still as I have said, it was something for the person to decide. They choose to obey their lust rather than to fear God and respect the sanctity of marriage. I don't know about that macho effect to boost ones ego or pride but it is one word to me, Sin against God and His Law.
• Philippines
17 Jul 11
thanks for your reply..yes i hope that every man knows the Law of God so they wont commit a sin of cheating or simply must have fear in god so they will be a loyal husband forever.ys it a matter of choice nonetheless..thanks again and God bless..
• United States
13 Jul 11
I would live to see into the mind of a man when he considers cheating on his near perfect wife. You see this all too much, where the woman does all she can and the man just has to follow his other head. I don't think cheating has anything to do with how good or bad your s3x life is. You can be everything a man wants and he will still dip his stick in someone else's kool aid. I did read an article on webmd that said cheating may be passed down in your dna. Other that that maybe it is just a macho image. Either their woman isn't good enough so they find someone else who might be. Or their woman is so good its boring or anything in between. I'm glad I found a man who will actually have these discussions with me. We've talked and as faithful as he is to me, if and when he wants another woman, we will talk about why he does and go from there. So communication may be a big part of it. Being able to express everything you want s3xually is really hard for a man, seeing that they have to live with you knowing all their secret fantasies. But in doing that you are closer and maybe they will say they want to try someone else instead of hiding and doing it. now I'm not for cheating of any kind, but at least this way its better than car s3x with a woman he met at a bar.
• Philippines
17 Jul 11
wow silverVixen your so lucky to have such kind of a partners in life..discussing anything under the sun and have so much understanding ..yes I do agree with you communications is the best for both it must be open communication for both.keep it up..seldom you can find a man who have the same level of your iq...
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
I guess there's something wrong with the relationship already and you haven't noticed it. I know it hurts to be betrayed but I think it takes two to tango. Many marriages are broken not because one has a fault, it's always the mistake of two person involve. I know it's not easy to understand why men are looking for someone else. Two of my friends experience it also. Her husband told her after that he's just looking for attention because my friend is already too busy with her duty as a mom and forgot that she's also a wife. My friend accepted her and until now they are together and mind you, happily together. Your situation is more painful because he got someone pregnant...and I am sad for you. Hope that doesn't happen to me. I'll don't know what to do, if ever.
• Philippines
17 Jul 11
yes you are correct in that point.. its too late i realized id been so busy for our business but it should not be the reasons to leave us but will hope so that it would not happened to you its really painful before i dont know what to do but now Im more than ok and im happy with my daughter..thanks for your response..
@sanjay91422 (2728)
• India
13 Jul 11
I heard many stories from the history when kings use to have more than one wives. Sometimes there were more than 100 wives and everyone of them get the arrival of the king in their place after 3 months of period. Can you imagine that.. King is the most powerful person in province and he use to do this thing. So what does it tell to you is this that yes men do have a desire to have more than one women in their life. They want to spread their genes everywhere but as it is a democratic world so there is not a single king. But the whole population is a king, everyone have equal human and social rights. So it is not allowed to have more than one wife in our country. It is called cheating, but if you ask about the men's desire, then I will say , yes they have the desire to have more than one woman in their life.
• Philippines
17 Jul 11
well sanjay i do respect your opinion based on the history you presented and its a fact i do agree on that.what if sanjay its the woman or the wife to have more than one husband do you think you can justify for another history ?or do u agree with me that it would be an acceptable norm in the society same as in a husband?
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
Hi janebernal. I am really sorry to know that. I do not think it is normal for a man to have another woman especially if he is already married and committed with his wife. It just seems that your husband is not really contented and I do not think that it is considered as a "macho" image. What your husband did was really inappropriate and cannot even be considered as a measure of manhood. You are really brave enough because you gave him the freedom to choose his will. I know it is really painful on your part to let go your husband especially if you really love him but what you did was an act of courage and bravery. I do not think everybody can do that. Other wives would really sue their husbands for committing adultery especially if they found out that their husbands are cheating on them. Regardless of what your husband did, I know GOD has a much better plan for you. I just hope your husband will not leave his obligation to support your children as he is still the biological father. GOD bless you and your family always jane.
• Philippines
17 Jul 11
thanks braveheart07 you are man enough to say so.yes its really painful at first and ur correct i had that courage and determination to let him go for the betterment of all. I almost filed a case of concubinage on him and his paramour but i did not push through coz he is still the father of my daughter.Yes i do agree with you God has a better plan for me and my daughter, however he even forgotten to support his daughter he will just remains as the biological dad to my daughter so be it..im happy and have inner peace ..
@janevi (889)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
Men are polygamous by nature. Very few are really a one woman man.Perhaps its their way of proving that 'macho ' image but we cannot generalize it. Looking at your age, I suppose your husband is almost the same as yours, it is the stage of ' exploration' for men. That is to try 'something new' in their life. Maybe they don't intend to impregnate the other woman but because of carelessness,it happened what is not suppose to happen. Remember,late 30's and early 40's is the stage of midlife' transition'. And there are many unexplanable feelings, urging, events in the life of a person that happen and sometimes they don't even understand themselves. In moments like these, one has to extend more understanding, love and care to the one experiencing it to avoid looking some pleasures'outside' of marriage. Women has to know the psychology of men a bit especially for married couple to avoid this broken vow/ marriage. May you will be strong in facing your situation and find consolation in the blessings you receive each day. :-)
@RamRes (1725)
• Argentina
17 Jul 11
I think it's not normal or natural, seems a bit too much saying that all men cheat on their girlfriends. Sure there are ones that do cheat and is up to each one the motives but I'm also sure there are many others that remain loyal from the first to the last day. Or at least they finish the relationship is he really wants to go with someone else. Saying that it's natural sounds too feminist to me and remembers the phase "men are all the same".
@rona07 (1663)
• Philippines
17 Jul 11
well i guess if not all, most of them. my mother and father are separated. Just like you, he had a son with another woman. I guess life is just like that. Maybe someone just wanted to try new things and they never expected the consequences of the things they made. Not only men, there are also some situation that the woman cheated. So, it really is not just a man thing. i guess...
@jdex_143 (1094)
• Philippines
16 Jul 11
I'm really worried if this situation will ever happen to me. I just hope not. I often hear a lot of stories like this. Husbands with other woman and worse, plenty of women and have one of them pregnant. I hate to think of it because I can't find any reason why some men or most of the men are having another affair. Don't they realize how painful it is for a woman to know that her husband is having another affair? I'm also thinking why they are unfaithful. They're not true to their vows in the church. Does this really mean that promises are meant to be broken? I hope this won't happen to me. :(
• Philippines
14 Jul 11
maybe its is natural with the guy having a third party and have kids same things for me i have struggle but i always pray to god for my strength to my 3 kids. u know my husband doest not give me a financial support for me i just keep on busy find jobs and go to mass to reflect just focus with the kids....just trust in god.
• India
14 Jul 11
to be very honest i believe that dating someone whom you know to be married is as good as cheating. So even the other woman is wrong. What i think is that their relation is based on cheating and u r the only one who is loyal and true in all this.
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
13 Jul 11
hello jane, I also have same question left unanswered. But i came to one conclusion that,either the husband is not contented with the wife or...it is because there are flirty girls who are willing to become a mistress. If we will analyze,the man will not rape the girl right? If the husband ever flirted with the girl,and the girl knows that the man is already married..it only means,the girl is willing to be a mistress. So,I don't totally blame the husband who has elicit affairs. Well, don't worry...it's better to be separated than living together without love and respect. I salute you for having your freedom...celebrate life
13 Jul 11
maybe because if they have many woman in thier life they also feel the pleasure of being men..you are not the only one who encountered that situation..just be strong ang think of your children..move on it is for your own good..