Had to leave PhD in Geography because of the bad behavior of the teacher

@aweins (4203)
India
July 15, 2011 4:12am CST
my sister was doing her PhD in geography . that is her favorite subject. she was working on it very hard. she completed five months also but then she suddenly told us that she wanna quit. and do not want to do anything. we all were very very surprised and then with all tears in her eyes she told how her teacher was. he was a male teacher and she use to ask my sister to visit her in late evening and then till night she use to be there and when our father use to come to pick and drop her he started objecting and saying that he will drop her , she should not call her father, what sh*t!!, what sh*t!!, i mean, it was highly revolting and how can a teacher molest his own student, how things , such sh*t things happen . i feel terribly sad for my sister and i know what so ever i can do i will . she has not shared the whole thing to the parents and our family but to me she has told . she says that he says that if she tries to do under any other teacher, he will take care of it that she is not allowed to sit or clear the paper. how low man, how can a teacher have that thinking? did you people came across such a situation in your life ?
1 person likes this
3 responses
15 Jul 11
If he actually molested her, report him to the police. Once the complaint is registered, any attempt he makes to stop her progressing her PhD will be viewed VERY differently, I can assure you. Get another tutor and if there's any trouble at all, ask why. Demand reasons. If the bad tutor's trying to stop her getting her qualification, take it to the governors of the institution. Take it to the education department of the government. Take it to anyone in a position of power who can investigate. Keep taking it to people until someone notices and does something. The more noise you can make about it, the less power he has over her. Most people in this situation wield their power to stop their victims acting. If you act - decisively and stubbornly, refusing to back down - they'll soon realise their "power" doesn't work. The only way to deal with a bully is to be stronger than them and slap them down with the rules. My lady was sexually assaulted (not badly) by a guy at a place she worked once. She reported it to management and he was fired the next day. The police visited him soon afterwards. He ran away but it's on his record now, so he'll have trouble getting work anywhere. Justice was served. Good luck!
@aweins (4203)
• India
16 Jul 11
thanks spike , i love your discussions and your responses. thanks for mine. in my case my sister is very timid and she is very shy to speak about all this to anyone. to me she gave and asked to give hundreds of promises that i do not share this thing to anyone. i told her that when you are not wrong you should speak aout it , so that the god people can stand and support you. but she says i do not want to be troubled by the police and the people again. people give sympathy by talking on the same topic and i do not want to speak about it much. i want to forget all that. she now want to change her place. she in staying in Delhi for a change with our uncle and aunt. she is also not badly assaulted but then too, wrong things are wrong, i told her that he should be given a lesson otherwise some other girl will also , again face the same problem. she says , well, that other girl will not be me and then when she will do anything i will support her, i cant face anybody. what will people think and what all and what not, do not ask, i think she is in a different phase of mind , and the main thing is the bad has happened to her, not me, so i can just guide , share or discuss. i tried to feel what she is going through , she is my sister, i can feel her hurt. but then she is no mood to talk to me also.
1 person likes this
16 Jul 11
I can understand her reluctance: it's bad enough being a victim without having everyone know about it. Unfortunately, this is exactly why scumbags like him get away with it. They make the victim feel guilty and generate the need for secrecy so that no one ever stands up and points the finger at them. The only way to stop people like him is to stand proud and say "It's HIS fault, not mine" and make sure the authorities rip him to shreds. It's a horrible, vicious circle that takes a tremendous amount of courage to break. I can only say that it really is worth it - the knowledge that the guy who tried it on with my lady had to literally run away (leave his flat, pack up his stuff and run off) in fear of the police gives us both a satisfying feeling. Is there an anonymous possibility? I know that here in the UK, it's possible to make a complaint and only the authorities know who you are: the aggressor, family, other students or anyone else are never told. That might be a more bearable option. Best of luck and lots of virtual hugs, in any case!
• Estonia
15 Jul 11
Sad to hear that such terrible thing happened to your sister. This person who calls himself a teacher is not a teacher. He's just a pervert who uses his position to abuse his students. Too bad your sisters studies will now remain unfinished... Perhaps she can change her college and transfer her progress to another, so she won't have to start her studies over. But yea, recovering from such abuse takes time so she probably wouldn't want to go studying again for some time. As for your question, I haven't came across such situations in my life, luckily.
@aweins (4203)
• India
16 Jul 11
thanks dear, now she has changed her college and doing B.Ed from a different college. he is hundred percent a pervert. she is very sad but she do not want to talk about it or do anything about it.
@sanjay91422 (2728)
• India
16 Jul 11
I think that is a not a good situation for your sister.What she should do is tell to the teacher in a straight talk that you will not tolerate it in the future. If he does it again then you should complaint the matter to the police. It is not an easy issue but it I think it is going to be handled only in this way.