What makes a friend?

July 15, 2011 9:02pm CST
Is it the person you have known since childhood? The one who lives far away and you haven't seen in years but keep in contact with? The one you meet up with regularly but don't share yourself with? Honestly, who am I closest to right now? The boyfriend of a longtime friend, who I had an argument with and she has avoided me for 6 months, just ignores me when she sees me. Her boyfriend I didn't get along with, but he talks to me online now and we understand each other, we have made friends. He can't speak to me when she is around, but he gets me. We are very alike really. Don't get the wrong idea, its nothing that threatens their relationship, but we could grow to be great friends.
4 responses
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
The circumstances of meeting, distance, gender...to me all of those details are irrelevant in what makes a true friend. What makes a friend comes down to one thing: are they there when you hit rock bottom? Is that friend there for you in the good times and bad? Many people have lots of "friends." Many people also find that when they hit the desert and may need a little help, most of their "friends" are no where to be found. What makes a friend is whether or not they stick with you. A good friend looks out for the other friend - even when there is nothing to gain for themselves. Even when times are dark. A standard friend only cares about themselves. When the friendship requires more than they are willing to give, or when it no longer benefits them, they run. I don't know who you are closer to. I would guess your distant friend's boyfriend, but I don't know. Only you can know who you are closer to. Ask yourself which one you would help first if they were both in a tight jam at the same time and answer honestly. That should tell you who you are closer to. :)
16 Jul 11
I have truly hit rock bottom in regard to my self esteem and my feelings. I feel totally alone. I have said for a long time there is nobody I could turn to and expect to come running. My ex-friend's boyfriend has recently come into my life and his support has made life seem a little less bleak. We are still cautious of each other as we didn't get along at first, but he is more of a friend to me than anyone else right now. Who would I help? Anyone, because I am just that stupid.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
16 Jul 11
Don't call yourself stupid, marianne87. :) It is just general kindness I think. If what you say about having no one else is the case, then I would say at present your friend's boyfriend is who you are closest to. :D
@dorannmwin (36695)
• United States
19 Jul 11
Well, I would say that I really only have three true friends in my life. The first friend that I have is someone that I grew up with. She now lives in Texas and I still live in Kentucky, but we do keep in touch regularly and she is my son's godmother. The second friend that I have is someone that I met when I was in college, she and I actually lost contact from the time that I was 20 years old until I was 30 years old, but we've recently been back in contact and we were able to pick right back up where we left off when we got back in touch with each other. The third friend that I have is someone else that I met during my college years and we don't constantly talk, but we've always been in contact, she and her husband have helped us out in many ways throughout the years. I don't really think there is one specific friend that makes a friend, but it is important that you do have a lot of things in common with a person to really be a friend.
@thatgirl13 (7307)
• South Korea
18 Jul 11
I think trust and support are the biggest qualities needed in a true friend. It doesn't matter if you grew up with them or just met them couple of weeks ago. They outstand and you know who they are. I have many true friends. Some of them I grew with, some of them I met a year ago and I can't tell you how happy I am to have them. They have always helped me in my ups and downs. The most memorable time was when they took care of when I had this nasty breakup with this "true love" of my life. I really felt I couldn't go on but they supported me in everyway. There were some who just left but hey that's how I knew who my true friends were!
@maezee (29485)
• United States
16 Jul 11
The very good friends I have, I have known from elementary school, middle school and even before then. They are hard to describe, and even harder to find. I'm lucky to have 4-5 REALLY good "best" FRIENDS, all of which I've known for at least about 10 years if not more. I don't think the amount of time you've known someone always comes into play, I think it's just how you act around each other, how you can make fun out of any situation, and also things like them never judging you and always being there for you and whatnot.