a friend who turns out to be an enemy

@cathloe (184)
Philippines
July 18, 2011 2:43am CST
have you ever encountered of this situation?? i had, i once had a friend, she's very rich and oh so good at things that money can buy, she has all these kind of stuffs that are new, in short she is always updated. but though she has all that, she has a bad attitude, she boss people and thinks that she knows everything, she made friends with me and i accepted her the way she was, even though people are telling me that she made friends with me so that she will only have someone who could boss around and make favor with. i know her attitude, yes its bad but everyone has its own goodness and i stand up with her because she also has goodness in her. but there was this time that we were joking around and she made these jokes that hurted me, as a turn over, i made a joke to her too. it made her upset. and by that time we never spoke again. she has the gots not to talk to me well in fact she made rude things to me in addition to that. she even insulted me. and because of that i thought that i would never be friends of her again. if she's a friend, she should not be rude. i kept my mouth shut but she never did. just remembered hehe,, a wasted friendship
2 people like this
21 responses
@roshigo58 (4871)
• Pune, India
28 Aug 12
Hi, I also had such experience. I had a friend who was very close to me. We had very happy time together. No one is perfect I know but we should respect each other. Once he insulted me but I neglected it at that time. But when I made a joke with him he felt it bad and he broke the relation with me. Some people behave badly with others. They feel that they are doing right. They don't care about others feelings and when somone hurts them unwillingly they are not ready to consider others feelings.
@iola2012 (172)
• Philippines
20 Aug 12
We have friends like that. If I've noticed the rudeness from a friend. I automatically shutdown not to deal with him or her. At the end, I knew they will be my enemy soon.
@MsTickle (24994)
• Australia
23 Jul 11
I've had two friends betray me and the effects were devastating in both cases. One was someone I worked with. We were not great friends (as it turns out). She was dishonest and got the sack and she took it out on me. It cost me my relationship and my home. The other one was my best friend of 15 years. She encouraged me to take a course of action promising her support. She used me and abused my friendship then withdrew her support leaving me homeless. I honestly don't know how to move on and get over these circumstances. I have a lot of trouble trusting people.
@xuyxuy (435)
• Philippines
20 Jul 11
Hi Cathloe! I understand how you feel, as, I also had encountered same situation as yours. I had this friend of mine, a co-worker for so many years already. But as the years went along, I noticed her attitude as a friend which sometimes I don't like, nonetheless I didn't mind it. I still accepted and considered her as one of my friends. Even though, I've heard a lot of negative feedback that she throws about me to some of our common friends, I still didn't mind that. Until one day, we had this argument on the life of one of our friends. Sad to say that it ended up, for us with no communication to each other until today. I chose not to communicate again with her since I know that she was offended that day for not getting the response that she want to hear from me. I am just being honest to her. She stopped any communication to me either. From then on, our friendship ended.
@bunnybon7 (37707)
• Holiday, Florida
19 Jul 11
i have one friend just like that. i have very little to do with her these days as shes moved a ways across town so she seldom gets over here but just the same, we talk on the phone and at times she brings up differences we had before and makes me upset at her again. but we still seem to talk and visit once every couple months or so
@ann815 (54)
• Philippines
19 Jul 11
i think you should give yourself some credit for giving that friendship a shot. it means that you are a person who doesn't pass judgement. and that is a commendable trait. but now that the friendship is over, you just have to move on and be thankful that you found out what kind of person your "ex-friend" really is. im sure that you will find another friend who deserves your friendship with whom you will have lots of fond memories with for the years to come.
@SIMPLYD (84823)
• Philippines
19 Jul 11
At least, by now you are estranged with that "friend" of yours. It's her loss that you got out of her life. A person like don't deserve a friend. what she needs is a nanny, who will just keep on following her. And you are not a nanny. Never be a friend to a person like that. Makes you so little.
• Philippines
19 Jul 11
I've been with people like that. Unfortunately, because of their financial focus, they seem to lack the understanding that people also matter. And in the end they end up hurting other and losing friends. I'm sure eventually she will come to realize that not all things will make up for the companionship of a friend. What's important is that you realize it and that you're mature enough to know when things should be left alone for a while. Perhaps you're not the person at the time to change her views on this. But the time will come that her views will change, and hopefully you're there to see it happen. Good Luck! :-)
@catof1 (683)
• United States
19 Jul 11
I have had that a couple of time esp with the type you are referring to. It hurts at the time pretty bad, and I still look back on it and even though I know I did not do anything wrong...I feel guilty and bad for her.
@rettadou (58)
• China
19 Jul 11
yes, i was also hurt by the best friend. and we didn't talk now. i can't understand her, i was so sincere and truly treat her, but at last i was hurt by her. i perfer to talk with a stranger.
• Davao, Philippines
19 Jul 11
There are really people who are like this friend of yours, rich, bossy and arrogant. This kind of 'friends' are not worth keeping.So don't be sad. But still give her chance to see her own mistakes, probably she would change for the better. Don't close the possibility that this friend of yours will someday return to you and reconcile with you. Why not frankly confront her and tell her that you were hurt by offensive way of joking. Also ask forgiveness, because you too have hurt her. As what you have mentioned that everyone has his or her own badness as well as goodness. From the Holy Bible I've learned one the teachings of Jesus that we should love our enemies and do good to them that hate you. If somebody throw you stone, in return throw him pieces of bread. Well, you know real and genuine friends are hard to find nowadays. If you cannot find then make one.
@Dymo75 (340)
• New Zealand
19 Jul 11
I've had a sort of friend like that. He's very proud, he makes jokes about others, and when we make jokes about him, he gets upset easily. But it's just life. We're still good friends. I think. Anyway, no friendship is wasted. If you were a friend, even for a little while, at least you learned something. You might not know what yet, but think well. But good luck finding a new friend!
@rameshchow (5284)
• India
18 Jul 11
Mainly in Financial matters we will get this type of problem. And In business we do not maintain so much personal friendship which may create harm to us, we have behave in a professional manner only... It is better to each other, it is another way....
@rahulx1 (297)
• India
18 Jul 11
well i dont have any rich friend but i have middle class friends which are better but my one friend who was studying with me since we was children he studied with me over 15 years but now when his brothers marriage come he didn't not invite me because now i am in better collage and his in poor collage since that day he didn't talk to me. i also left him since he forgot me but i still send him jokes message and sms but he dnt send me actually i send sms to my all contacts in my mobile. i cant forgot him wish one day he again started talking with me like a friend and we tour visit places like we do when we was in school we did many school bunk together. he didn't invite me in his brothers marriage but when my big sister will marry i will invite him because his still my friend even if his not
@megamatt (14327)
• United States
18 Jul 11
An enemy is such a strong word for me to use regarding some false friends that I have known. However there have been many friends well people that I thought were friends, but they turned out to be rather painful nuisances, that gossiped behind my back and caused any number of issues. It was very agitating to say the very least. That is the trouble with a lot of people, sometimes you do think that you know them, but you really do not know them all that well. That is really the biggest pain of them all when a friend turns out to be not so much one. Still in the end, there are times where I had thought I had been close enough to someone to consider them a friend. However, I feel like I was rather sorely mistaken. They are really not the friend that I thought they were. It is something that is rather insanely frustrating when you really think about it. I feel like I was mistaken and I had to sever ties with that person as soon as possible. I feel like i have been blessed with picking good friends but it would be a slight lie if I had not made some misjudgments of character.
• Philippines
18 Jul 11
I used to be a bossy person. Though I am a little friendly, I always lose friends out of my bossy attitude. That's why one time, I decided to change my attitude and it did helped me well. There can be really no perfect person. However, what I would suggest you is that learn to have a forgiving heart. Even if she's the one who started, be open and do not be rude to her. In that way, she'll see how good you are and will learn how to be nice to you again.
@pringu (151)
• India
18 Jul 11
Hi cath, in my opinion you should have made her understand money isn't everything and there are things money can't buy like. For instance, being a good friend. I think these days, friends are purely based on money power and sadly, those with lower financial status are often considered to be a let down. Now, i think, this was the attitude of that friend you mentioned above! Interestingly there are many people like these in and around our society. The best solution for such guys is to, mind them less. Just don't mind them and what they do and eventually they will come to understand where, the real flaw lies and probably would rectify it by themselves.
@cmang83 (286)
• Malaysia
18 Jul 11
I never face this situation before. But i think if i were you, i will not close with her. I will still friend with her but not close friend. I can't stand if people instruct me to do something except my parents or my superior.
@airasheila (5458)
• Philippines
18 Jul 11
Hello there Cathloe, It is indeed a sad ending, that, you ended up throwing bad words by means of joke. Well, I do remember my previous officemate who turn to be my friend during those years. Wherein, I consider her my eldest sister since she was older and somehow gives me advises. Though I heard a lot of negative behaviour that she has, I just ignored those since I believe, everyone deserves a chance to be treated fairly. Aside from that, she has also treated me as her younger sister. However, one day, I was astonished with the behaviour that she had shown towards me. She got mad suddenly on just a petite situation. Wherein, almost all of my officemates heard that word and they even reacted when they heard it from her. She have had told me that I am not the kind of friend that she deserved. What she have said really get inside my nerve. I almost cried but I did'nt because we were inside an office. After that, my other officemates told me, to left her alone, as the words being throwed to me was so rude and not proper. And they were telling me during those times, that I should not wasting my time in making befriend to her. So, what I did, I just stopped being befriend to her and just treat her as my ordinary officemate. Since then, she realized what she did to me. But, I was fed-up. Thus, I dont want to be hurt anymore. I spoke to her, told her, let bygones be bygones. We are not enemies, but, we are not also friends. And that's it. In your situation, maybe, try to talk to her and settle everything so not to end your previous relationship as enemies. Thus, you need not to settle for the sake of friendship, just for the sake that you end up forgiving each other.
@Fireheart (683)
• India
18 Jul 11
Its a loss for her then to loose you as a friend, really this is not a true friendship at all, friendship so far as i know its hard to be broken that easily and manipulated and its all about understanding of ones feeling, so far in your case she hardly cared for you. There would be some conflicts in friendship that wont last though friends make up for this and get together again soon though. Next time be friend who has a good attitude and somewhat caring.