My grandson is coming for a weeks visit and I am not happy about it at all....

@jillhill (37384)
United States
July 18, 2011 7:49am CST
Don't get me wrong...I want him to visit...we have so much fun together. But this time when I have to tell him goodbye...I won't know when I see him again! He is coming to visit before he goes into the army. Once in and his training is finished he was told he probably would be deployed! I guess as his grandmother I worry about him only being 19 and going off to places unknown. And since his family usually lives in Arizona (right now they are in Germany) when he does get home for a little rest and relaxation he will more then likely be spending his time with his mom and dad etc. It will be so much harder now to connect with him that I am just dreading telling him goodbye. Last time he visited when he left there was a possibility that he would be moving up here to Minnesota to go to college and live with me while he did!! Anyway...have you ever had to say goodbye to someone without knowing how long it would be before you saw them again?
3 people like this
14 responses
@AmbiePam (49126)
• United States
19 Jul 11
I'm so sorry! I don't know what to say.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
20 Jul 11
I guess that's just life...gotta roll with the punches. If he weren't my only grandson it would be just a smidge easier....I think!
1 person likes this
@rameshchow (5284)
• India
19 Jul 11
This is called the sweet lovely anger.... You have so much love on your grandson. yes, it is really a painful feeling that our loved ones are going away from us without knowing how long they will leave us....
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
20 Jul 11
It is very painful!
1 person likes this
@stephcjh (32328)
• United States
19 Jul 11
I know how you feel about that. I am dealing with a similar situation but it is my own daughter. She has chosen a life of corruption and she is due with our very first grandbaby in September. We will not see her or the baby as long as she is living like she is living. It is so sad because we wanted so much better for her but she doesn't.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
20 Jul 11
That is so sad!
1 person likes this
@swirlz (3138)
• Philippines
19 Jul 11
Aww that's really sad. Saying goodbye is indeed difficult. When I left home a few months ago, I didn't say the words goodbye at all. I know if I say it I'll start crying. I just smiled and waved.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
20 Jul 11
Good for you...my daughter always says when either of us leaves the airport..don't look back! If we do we usually end up crying!
2 people like this
• United States
20 Jul 11
OMGOODNESS yes. I didn't even know I was going to have to say goodbye which made it worse. I have four children who don't live with me. When their father and I were going through our divorce he sought to fight me bitterly for them. I don't even get to see them now unless on FB. He does not want me to see my kids which is the most horrible thing anyone could do. He has all but turned them against me. I know they love me, but it's hard to tell with him in the way. I have missed them for so long I have almost given up on having a relationship with them. I am still fighting with him. My oldest son who is now almost 18 says I need to stop fighting for something I am never going to get. He sounds like his father so much. I just wish this was all a bad dream and I could wake up any moment now. Unfortunately, it's not a dream. I am very much in a real live situation. I wish my ex would get a clue. I am just so tired. We have been divorced now for six years and he is still grudge holding and attempting to keep me away from my kids. Out of all my situations and as much as I like to stay positive, it is stretch for me where he is concerned. I hated him for so long. I strongly dislike him now. The hate was killing me slowly.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jul 11
Sorry for the goodbye you have to say. I sure wish he would have changed his mind. I hate to think of the pain your i right now. I do hope he spends time with mom and dad as well. The army is no place for anyone in my book. I wish him luck and prayers.
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
18 Jul 11
He is leaving here and going to Germany to see his parents....
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jul 11
That s great.
@2004cqui (2823)
• United States
18 Jul 11
Hi Jill- I'm sorry you have to go through this in the effort to keep this country free! I applaud you and your family for making this tremendous sacrifice, for it is the greatest sacrifice a family can make so we can know the security of strolling around our own backyards, grocery shop and come and go to work without the fear of being blown up! I do know that the armed services go to great lengths to ensure all mail going to our troops overseas actually make it to the person it's addressed to. If not, somehow or another they can find out in the blink of an eye. Grandparents are given a great deal of attention. A friend of mine used to put "grandma" under her name in the return address giving her grandson the nick name Grandi. My brother-in-law, in Vietnam told his mother the guys thought yo yos would be a nice quiet toy to monkey with during down time. She sent off a box of them, one for each man in his platoon, giving him the nick name yo yo. Your time with him now will be bittersweet. Get a picture of him to put on the wall with his military address next to him. Make sure that if nothing else he sends you his address every time it changes. You will be able to create memories to last a lifetime. Knowing you, you will think of all kinds of creative ways to make his tour less painful and seem shorter. He will share this with all his buddies over there and his friends when he returns home. Fill your heart with pride and the knowledge you will now be able to make a difference.
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
18 Jul 11
I have in the past always adopted a troop to take care of....last year though it was family again...my niece's husband was in kwuit...my son in law has been to afghanistan twice....my other son in law is special forces..(my grandson's dad)...his grandfather was also an officer in the army...so it's generational in our family to be military...grandkids however are so special as you will soon find out....I am a stamper and this morning I sent out two packages..one that goes directly to the troops and one to an armory in New Ulm for the families...greeting cards that is....so I have been involved for many years in taking care of our precious troops and their families....its just so tough to say goodbye!
@2004cqui (2823)
• United States
18 Jul 11
Wow! I had no idea! I am so proud to know someone who is so committed to our country's freedom fighters! Here I was trying to find the good to bolster your spirits! Sorry I was so ignorant. Thank you for your participation and huge sacrifice in the fight to keep us free! I will think of you often as I stroll my gardens, hold my grandchild and come and go without fear of being blown up!
@rettadou (58)
• China
19 Jul 11
I can understand you well. because i have the same boat, when i am working in another city, and i didn't want to say goodbye to my parents, the same to them. But them can understand me, and they say some comfortable words .so you should undertand him. He must know you love him. if you cna't decide the result, you just can love him.
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
20 Jul 11
And that I do....love him so much that is....he's my only grandson!
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
18 Jul 11
I am so sad for you right now. I have had to say goodbye to family members before not knowing when I would see them again, but that is only because they live far away.
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
20 Jul 11
Yes...this time it will be so hard but he has already assured me that we might get to see each other next year in Germany...
@diala84 (139)
• United States
18 Jul 11
Well my first thought is although the army can be dangerous it doesn't mean that this is goodbye for good. If he spends time with his family in germany maybe you can arrange to visit at the same time so you can see him again. Even if he wasn't in the army, his life is going to keep moving and there isn't always time for travel and visiting family or at least it is not the priority. I think you can make a bit of the effort to keep in touch via letters, email, phone calls, facebook, etc.. and make the effort to see him when he takes time off with the rest of the family. If you want to see him make the effort. As for goodbyes just have a good time and make sure he leaves feeling that he wants to come back and see you again. Maybe he will suprise you.
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
18 Jul 11
Next year his sister graduates in Germany so I'll be going for that....hopefully he'll be there too!
@katsmeow1213 (29047)
• United States
18 Jul 11
Aww, I wish him well! No.. I've never really had any of those kinds of goodbyes. The closest I am to that is the elderly people in our lives.. I'm more or less unsure IF I'll ever see them again.. even if they live around the corner. I'm truly expecting hubby's father and aunt to pass anyday now. They're 76 and 80 and not in the best of shape. Won't be long, I know that much forsure.
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
18 Jul 11
That one is so tough too! Not knowing when they will pass!
@chookie1971 (2277)
• Australia
18 Jul 11
There are many of times I say good bye to people not know when I would see them next. But I have a friend who has a son in a defence force and the way they keep in touch is via facebook. I know it is not the same but you can always keep in touch. I have friends and family I don't get to see much but with facebook or any other social type site is always good to keep in touch with loved ones. Some friends I don't get to see. I am hoping one day one friend will come to visit but after that visit, I don't know if that friend will be back.
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
18 Jul 11
We are all on facebook and thats a wonderful vunue for us to keep up with each other!
@SomeCowgirl (32270)
• United States
18 Jul 11
I am sorry that you have to say goodbye to hime for who knows how long! I know if I was in that situation I'd most likely lock him up in the closet and tell him he's not going into the army! It's a scary thing, and something I'd only really like anyone I knew to do IF THEY were just going to be a desk segeant or something. I hope that he will be able to visit you as well before and after his deployment!
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
18 Jul 11
Me too....I will miss him so much!
• Canada
25 Jul 11
While I'm not a grandmother of a person in the military, I do have a small idea of how you feel. My step-son Cory is 20, and joined the Marines. Because of my husband's and my situation, he's in the United States, and we are living in Canada, so we have not been able to see him in a very long time. He joined the Marines when he turned 20, and we were worried S I C K !!! Then he turned up in Japan, and we knew he was safe. My advice is to enjoy the time you do have, and don't spend the whole week worrying the time away. Live every moment, and enjoy it. Hold onto those happy memories when he is gone. Do you, or does he, or do his parents, have any idea of what kind of deployment? Will be be in a safe place like Cory, or will they send him off to war somewhere?