Hubby has no pulse in his feet. Hmmm...

@mentalward (14695)
United States
July 19, 2011 10:06pm CST
He's complained of cold feet for years now. He's been complaining that "It's cold in here" for months now. It's not cold; HE'S cold. Anyway, he's had issues with toes swelling and hurting badly, so badly that he actually asked me to make him an appointment with a podiatrist. I did and he actually went and didn't cancel as usual. That was today. The podiatrist said she could not find a pulse in either of his feet. She's supposed to be setting him up an appointment with a cardiologist/pulmonologist as soon as possible. So, those of you who know me should know that I've been packing and am moving away from him because of his abusive nature. Do you think I should stick it out now? I was thinking at one point that I should just stay here and wait for him to kill himself with his really bad habits but thought he would probably live another 20 or 30 years since, you know, "only the good die young". Do you have or know someone who has had no pulse in their feet? If so, what was/is the cause? I told him I thought he may have diabetes since he's been an alcoholic all his life and refuses to give up his beer. (Alcohol wreaks havoc on the pancreas, the regulator of our blood sugar.) Of course, it could well be plaque in his arteries from his extremely poor eating habits. Then again, it could have something to do with his lungs since he's a heavy smoker and has been since the age of 10. (Yeah, really!)
6 people like this
18 responses
@Chevee (5915)
• United States
20 Jul 11
Hi Marti. I have never known anyone that has been diagnosed with this condition. As for the other questioned you ask. I will take you to the Word of God. Do the right thing. Pray over it and ask God to lead you to the right decision. When you married him it was for better or worse in sickness and in health. You can take it from there. I am not married nor have I been married so I cannot give you any advice on this matter. As I said before you should make that decision so that you will be satisfied with it you have to live with him (your husband) and you have to live with yourself so having said that give the situation to God. Lean not on your own understanding or the understanding of others. Be blessed my friend.
1 person likes this
@Shar19 (8236)
• United States
20 Jul 11
No, I don't think you should stick it out and stay in the relationship. You should have left a long time ago. Now get out, out, out! It's time to stop caring for someone who doesn't care enough about you. He'll have to deal with his own problems. Move onward and forward with your new, healthier life.
1 person likes this
@RJlady1 (144)
• United States
20 Jul 11
For heaven's sake, if he's abusive, get out. You are right, could be diabetic neuropathy or some other cause of neuropathy. People with health problems can be just as dangerous to you as anyone else. Don't let yourself be victimized even one more time.
1 person likes this
@LadyMarissa (12161)
• United States
20 Jul 11
I'm a cold-hearted bwitch!!! I'm sorry he's having problems. However, he does NOT care when you're having problems!!! Were you in the office with him when the doctor gave him the news??? Are you sure that he's not just playing you to use your kind heart to his benefit once again??? I say keep on packing & get the hell out of there!!! If he is truly sick, you can still visit & help take care of him. If he's not, then you are in a better place!!! The happiest me & my first hubby were was when we lived on opposite sides of the county!!! We even began to enjoy each other's company for a change!!! Did I feel the need to go back??? Oh hell NOOOO!!! He was still the same mean SOB that I left!!!
• Canada
27 Jul 11
Is he diabetic? If not, have him checked, because this often happens in diabetics. Get something done before he has to have his feet amputated.
@AmbiePam (49557)
• United States
22 Jul 11
Yes, he does sound diabetic. You've definitely got a dilemma. You're such a good person with a good heart and you're probably likely to stay now, right? Of course if he doesn't have long to live...
@Hatley (164629)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Jul 11
metalward oh my g I thought you had already left him. No do not l et this stop you now as you will now have abuse and care of a man whose mistreated his body to the point where he has partly plugged arteries and is just begging to have a heart attack.I am not trying to be cruel but you have given him chance after chance, now you need to cut your losses and move on as you have a life of your own to live. I am a diabetic but since when I first knew I had it I lost 45 pounds so had no further pain problems in my feet. Now I need to lose some weight but am thrilled that I am in control of my blood sugar.No its got to be his arteries and hes going to need a lot of care.I think you did the best you could and its just not going to change so see him into a nursing home and go on with your life.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
23 Jul 11
Heyya mentalward. I'm not sure about that sticking around anyway...life is short. I think that there could always be something wrong..you know? As far as the pulse, I remember my stepmother years ago coming over to my grandparents and worrying about the same thing. It was blood clots in her legs. It could be a hundred different things though. She had had some type of surgery recently and they thought the blood clots came from that. I hope everything goes well...but I wouldn't stop my life if I knew it was something I wanted to do for sure. Take care.
@KrauseHome (35341)
• United States
20 Jul 11
Personally having no pulse in his feet, is not a Good sign, and something he should have had checked out yrs. ago. Sounds like there is definately some circulation problems going on somewhere. I know even with my being Diabetic and the problem with the chronic wounds, I have excellent pulses in my feet. Definately sounds like he should get a thorough blood work, etc. But as for you staying, if you are unhappy and feel unsafe your best bet is to still leave. He built his own bed. You need to do what is best for you and your safety.
@dragon54u (31615)
• United States
20 Jul 11
Do NOT change your plans because of his medical crisis. He may have agreed to see the doctor because he counted on your staying. It's his responsibility to care for himself--sure, you're married but he hasn't held up his end of the bargain and you shouldn't have to put your life on hold just when you're starting anew. I'm sorry he's having troubles but you should go ahead with your move. He never listened to you before when you tried to keep him healthy or when you tried to make him happy and he won't listen to you now--he'll just use it as an excuse to get you to stay. So don't change your plans.
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
20 Jul 11
It doesn’t sound like your husband has any respect for his own health and the fact that he has no pulse in his feet sounds like a circulation problem which may well be diabetes . I would go to a doctor as soon as possible if I was him. As far as you leaving, I guess you could wait and see how he is but there would be no point in the long run to stay in an unhappy situation because it would do either of you any good.
@ElicBxn (60884)
• United States
20 Jul 11
the only person I ever knew that lost the pulse in their feet (foot actually) also lost the foot... I'm guessing if they aren't blue or haven't turned black, they are getting blood... I don't know if YOU should be the one to take care of him tho, why should you continue to be inflicted with his abusive nature, since he's also abusing himself - its his fault after all that he's in the condition he's currently in.
@veejay19 (3592)
• India
20 Jul 11
As you have said it could be diabetes.Hasn`t he had a blood-sugar test done.Its a wonder he has survived all this long with all the habits and addictions he has had.All my sympathies are with you but i really don`t know what advise i can give you,whether to stay with him or leave.I don`t think i am qualified to do so.He has to realize it all by himself,nobody can do so.Only he can save himself,no one can.I hope he sees the light before its too late.
@bunnybon7 (36881)
• Holiday, Florida
20 Jul 11
DO NOT stay over that. hes obviously been like that a while and wants to use it to keep you there to abuse. men do that. he can figure it out himself. that may sound cold from me but i know the type. he will only keep dragging you down.
@urbandekay (18312)
20 Jul 11
He needs to have a doctor or nurse perform a 'doplar' test on his feet and legs, there are many causes of restricted blood flow all the best urban
@mimpi1911 (25454)
• India
20 Jul 11
I am not sure what exactly he suffers from but it's certain that he has a lot of complicacies that might not eradicate completely in his lifetime. Clogged peripheral arteries could one of the reasons which means he would need stenting or bypass etc. Whatever, he's going to suffer. The point is, since you have already decided what's best for you, you must do your mind. Please do not allow your conscience to kill you later in life. You are the best and you deserve the best.
@marguicha (97527)
• Chile
20 Jul 11
Dear MW, Everyone in the world is (or must be) responsible for his health. That has nothing to do with your relations with him. If you want to move away from him, his health must not hold you there. My daughter tried something like that years ago and it was painful for her, she hurt her children and at the end they split anyway. Bad husbands don´t turn into angels if they are ill. Probably they are ven worse. Let him takke care of his feet and you take care of your valuable life
@moondancer (7434)
• United States
20 Jul 11
I would say it's clogged arteries and the flow of blood is not going from his top of his body to his feet like it should because he has blockage or more than one. It is good that he see a cardiologist/pulmonologist. He could have a heart attack. I'm surprised he hasn't already. Also it could be diabetes. So he needs to be checked. One way or another it's one of them. As far as you staying with him that is up to you. I personally would not wish to stay one minute longer with an abusive person. You could leave or stay until he is diagnosed and has been fixed a bit and then leave. Whatever it's up to you. I wish you luck in your decision and bless you dear on whatever you decide to do. No matter what you do not deserve to be held there for further abuse under his hand just because he is sick. just remember that.