Goodbye Mom

@erikmama (12934)
United States
July 20, 2011 11:10pm CST
As most of you here already know, the past few weeks i have had alot of discussions about my mom and that we are not the best of relationships going on. So after the events today, I have decided to call it quits with her.No more visits, calls, or even calling her mom... I won't get into the details, but her and I have bever gotten along. She does things to try to bring me down and is not the type of person I want in my life. I feel that she can only hinder the things that I am trying to do. And, all of the hurt that she has caused and continues to cause is plenty enough for me. I know alot of you will disagree with me saying that I do not want to have a relationship with her anymore, as she is my mother. But how long are you suppse to try and accept less than waht you deserve? What do you think about people who can't have a realtionship with their mother? Have you ever been in a similar situation
3 people like this
9 responses
@allen0187 (32597)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
hi erikmama1 i'm sure you've thought hard and good about this matter so i won't second guess you. do remember though not to close any doors of communication with your mom. after all, she is still your mom and nothing will change that. hope things pan out right for you and your mom and you are able to patch things up.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
24 Jul 11
Yes, it has been thought about many years in fact. I will close all doors with my mom. Nothing will ever change that she is my mom, but just because someone gives birth doesn't mean that they deserve the love, honor, and respect of a mom. I would love nothing more than a great relationship with my mom but it is just someting that is not ever going to happen no matter how much I want, and I think that is time to accept it and wuit allowing her to disrupt mu life.
@allen0187 (32597)
• Philippines
24 Jul 11
hi erikmama! that decision is only for you to make.
@lelin1123 (15645)
• Puerto Rico
21 Jul 11
Most people who have a problem with their mom's is because the mom is overbearing, opinionated, negative and just not nice. So if your mom falls under one or all of these catergories I don't blame you. I have a good relationship with my mom thank god however, my younger sister does not. So I believe it all has to do with your individual personalities and what one can deal with or one can't deal with. My mom can be a negative person alot of the times but I don't let it work againist me. I just ignore her comment and keep going. If its something that I'm really passionate about I will speak my mind and take it from there. I'm so sorry that you have so many problems with your mom. Maybe you need to write her a letter explaining the problems so maybe she will realize the pain you cause her and hopefully change her ways. Good luck and God Bless!
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
24 Jul 11
Lets see.let me give you some words to describe my mom and you will more understand my pain Lelin! LOL! ~vindictive ~spiteful ~hateful ~rude ~embarrassing ~crazy ~always bringing me down I coud go on and on./Some people say tha her an dI are alike and that is so offensive to me but I do agree that whatever it is our personalities clash. I do notsee how anyone gets along with her just to be honest. She is ALWYAS yelling from getting up to go ing to be with something hateful to say just for speaking to her. I guess it is a situation you would just have to know her. My mom that is. I have tried and tried and tried to it is just not worth it to me anymoe. She isnt going to change, and she knows what she does to me, which is why she does it, just to hurt or aggrevate me.
1 person likes this
@lelin1123 (15645)
• Puerto Rico
24 Jul 11
Thank you erikmama for the best response nod however, I feel bad that your mom is this horrible. Everyone deserves a good mom and its unfortunate that many people nowadays don't have that.
@moneywinner (1866)
• Brazil
21 Jul 11
I can't say that you are wrong or judge you, because I don't know you or your mother. But, I do know that sometimes mom can exceeds the limits. In my opinion, 99% of the moms only want the good of theirs sons, but ocasionally they don't know that they are more hurting than helping their sons. Maybe you should give a break on your relationship with your mom. And you will know when you are going to be ready to talk to her again, if one day you are going to be ready to do that.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
24 Jul 11
I dont even think it jas to be a mother. Some people can exceed the ,limits. I am actually a girl. It would be different if the things were not done intential, but they ae, and she knows all tha she does to me.
@Masihi (4228)
• Canada
21 Jul 11
I don't judge you. My biological mother disowned me when I was a baby, and still she won't have anything to do with me, only hang up in my ear as soon as she realises it's me. My social worker's efforts didn't help at all when I was still in foster care. It may hurt at first, but well, you do have your mental health to take care of. I myself have given up trying to establish a relationship with my biological mother. I don't think I'm a bad person for giving up trying, and neither do I think you're a bad person for distancing yourself from your own mother. Just take care of yourself.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
24 Jul 11
Hi Mashii. I am so srooy to hear abut the situation with you and your mom. It doesn't even really hurt me anymore though. It use to hrt and that is why I have tried over and over. But there are just certain things that I will not accept in my life and the way that she treats me s one of those things. I know that it is hard about your mom, but it sounds to me she isnt even desercving of it. It is her lose, not yours, which is how I feel about my mom too. i just think it is saf when relationships with those that are suppose t be the closest to us end up like this.
@les1321 (41)
• United States
21 Jul 11
I argue with my mom once in a while. One time, we had a big fight over our farm-my farm that she loaned without telling me.I was very upset with her and we had a shouting match but despite that, i still love her and respect her. We may have disagreements, but at the end of the day, she is still my mom. She sacrificed a lot for us when me and my siblings were little and that i'm very grateful. Did you have a heart to heart talk with your mom? maybe she will change her ways if you tell her honestly why you don't want her in your life. If she doesn't, then maybe it's time to cut off.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
24 Jul 11
Why and how did she loan your farm out like this? I can understand your situation. It is much, much different from mine and the relationship I have had with my mother. She has never been a mom to me. I have treid talks and she is who she is and that is something that is never going to change. I am not perfect, but I am also not the same type of person that she is, and she is not the type of person who will provide any benefit to me or to my life. Sometimes people just don't get along and as bad as it is, this is the case for my ex mom and I.
• United States
21 Jul 11
Although my situation is a bit different from yours as I was never raised with my mother. I never had a relationship with her and to date she does not want to be in my life and I am okay with it simply because we never had it before. I think a breather might do good but remember she is your mother so hopefully with time things can be patched up with the two of you. I will not judge you and or her as I know there are circumstances in life that do cause for families to separate.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
24 Jul 11
Hi HWG. I think I can remember you telling me a bit about your situation in a previous rant about my mom. It has been something that has been going on for as long as I ca remember, and I am personally tired of trying to get alomng with someone who is constantly doing things to hurt me. I have had ebnough hurt and pain in my life and am trying to be happy. She does not want that to happen. I feel that it is the best thing for me.
• China
21 Jul 11
I am afraid I cann't exactly fall in with you ,She is your mother after all.There is generation gap between the older generation and the younger generation,because they have experienced a different era.If my memory serves me well,your mother once said you make money online isn't a job.In fact,there is no need for taking those small things to heart..
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
22 Jul 11
Well, I am sure if were able to sit her an d go through some of the details of our relationship it would be something that uyou could entertain a little buit easier. She is my mother, and I have tried for so many years to respect her and have a relationship. But she continues to do some of the most outlandish things, hurtful things and it is just not something that I need in ,y life anymore. I am sorry that you can not understand. It is a decision that has been coming for a long time that took a long time to make. It isnt small thinsg like the job thing that make me say this about her. THis is very serious, in depth thinsg that has cuased this decision to be made
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12072)
• India
21 Jul 11
I couldn't get along with my mom till I became a mother myself! Not that I agree to what she says/does or thinks that she was right....but I somehow understand her thought process and frustrations better....though I do not agree to the way she takes it out on others. It also helps that I do not stay with her and the distance has helped in our case. I visit for a couple of days at a time and she is busy with the grandchildren then and I leave before the situation between us can get worse. And all o us are happy. I won't judge or say anything about your situation with your mom coz you are the one who knows it best and how it makes you feel. It's for you to take a step that will work for you.
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
22 Jul 11
Hmmm...seems just the opposit with me. or maybe it is just that I have matured. My mother an d I have never had a relationship and when I had kids I decided to try to forgive and forget and to have the relationship I always wanted with my mother. That was 12 years afo and in that time she has caused as much pain and hurt as she did in the first part of my life, but she has takne it to a whol new level that involved my kids. I am just at the point that I feel my life is better without her in it because'of the things that she does. I do think tht it is what is best for me and my family. It is a long Jerry Springer story, but I feel that it is best in my heart.
@bounce58 (17524)
• Canada
25 Jul 11
This is sad. I know that in her mind, she may have good intentions for you, but if she is really bringing you down, then maybe it is about time to cut off the relationship. I just hope that in the future you'd be able to patch things up, as no matter what happens, she is still your mother.