Dating & Parenting

United States
July 21, 2011 11:27am CST
How long do you wait to introduce your child to someone you've been dating? I don't have the option of going every other weekend with my son, as many single parents do. The man he knew as his dad was killed in a car accident five years ago and I've gotten back into the dating scene. My son met the man I've been dating for quite a while pretty much right away and he adores him. My boyfriend and I have every intention of staying together so I'm not concerned about it at this point. My boyfriend also has two kids and his son's mom made me wait six months before I could meet him, and she was trying to make it longer. I didn't push the issue and they worked it out... but I'm just wondering, how long is too long and when is too soon?
7 responses
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
Well, too late is never getting the right chance or you just let it slip away. I think that the two of you should just continue with what you guys are planning. It isn't illegal and I think the mother of your boyfriend's two kids don't have the right to tell you guys not to meet each other, I assume they are separated right? Well if not, then I think its better to accept the fact that he is taken. No offense. I wish you good luck with your relationship. =)
• United States
24 Jul 11
No offense taken... however, I am not the type of person that dates men that are in another relationship or married. He was very single when we started dating.
@edb225112 (125)
• United States
21 Jul 11
Adding someone to your childs life as a parental figure is thorny at best and damaging to the child at worst. The first concern is where is the child in the grief cycle from the lost of the other parent as part of his daily life. If divorce caused the loss, what has happened with the divorcing parents and what are they doing to keep the damage to the child at a minimum. There is a huge step from meeting your new significant other to adding them to the household and having that person take on parental duties. There is no set time for this decision. You must look at the child how adjusted to the loss are they and how open are they a new relationship.
• Nigeria
22 Jul 11
As for me i love my kids so much and i think i cannot do anything witiout them.if i happens that i meet a woman that is good to me,the first thing that will come to my mind is introducing her to my kids.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
For me dating I would tolerate it if the time when near to be married because dating not involve only for the time you spent together but if you talked to the phone it is dating because you find ways to talked.
@ravinskye (8242)
• United States
22 Jul 11
I think part of it depends on the kids. Some kids are more sensitive about their parent starting to date again. Especially in cases of divorce. It may be hard for them to see their parents dating again and also hard to get close to the person and then losing them if the relationship doesn't work out. I think it was smart of your boyfriends ex to make you wait 6 months. She was just doing it to protect them and make sure they don't get hurt or confused by woman coming and going in their dad's life.
@toniganzon (53392)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
Hmm i am still with my husband so i won't have the chance to date another man yet ! As if i'm wishing i could! But if i were separated and would start dating, the first thing i would do is to introduce that man to my son. I want to let him know right away what i'm doing with my life and i want him to meet the man that i like. I want to give him that chance to like or dislike him and listen to his opinion. In fact when i have new male friends, i immediately introduce them to my son. I strongly believe that there's no need to wait to introduce someone you are dating to your children. I think the earlier the better.
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
22 Jul 11
I think it really depends on the kid and the relationship. I would not introduce my kids to someone right away, but I would probably not wait a whole 6 months either. Somewhere in the middle maybe. The last guy I sort of went out with a few times my kids met right away because he is a guy that I went to school with and have known most of my life. He was more of a friend to me than anything, so it didn't seem like a situation where I thought I should wait to introduce them.