Homophobic, but not prejudice

I'm just going to refer back to the example used in a comment above. Say that there is a girl who was sexually assaulted by a man when she was young. Now she is an adult and she gets nervous whenever she is alone with a man or if he stands too closely, etc. Is this girl prejudice, or pre-judging men? No, she knows that not all men are like that. She knows that not every man wants to hurt her. No, she has a fear, or phobia of men. She knows it's not logical. That is what a phobia is. It's not that she has anything against men. She doesn't want all men to drop off the planet or anything. She is okay with men. She is just not able to be comfortable around them.

was your friend sexually assaulted by a gay person?

He said that he has had bad experiences with more than one gay person. And yes, it seems to me like he is just trying to work it out himself rather than seeking any kind of official help on the issue.

All which way? He never claimed that all gays were the same in any way. He just said that he feels uncomfortable around them. The example of all Muslims being terrorists would mean that the person is making a negative judgement towards a group of people, assuming that they are all murderers. What judgement has my friend really made towards gays? He did not say that he thinks anything about them; he said he feels something when he's around them. So is it really the same? Look at the response above yours. The example of a girl who was abused by men and feels uncomfortable around them. Do you believe that she is also "painting an entire group with one brush?"

I agree that people should not judge him. He hasn't even given me the specifics of his experiences. To call him prejudice seems kind of ironic and hypocritcal to me, for if we judge him without knowing the story, then we are prejudice, or prejudging, of him. I doubt he will seek counseling and it doesn't seem to be all that serious of a phobia, but you are right in that it could become worse, however, he told me that he is homophobic and so he does know that this feeling is irrational. He didn't say something negative about gays, which is something someone who wasn't aware of, or was denying their phobia would say. Some people just don't like counseling and with some individuals it is more effective to just try to work it out in their own head themselves. He told me about it and talking about our problems with anyone is what counseling essentially is. I told him that he can't help how he feels and it is okay to feel that way. He shouldn't feel bad about it. I told him that as he said, he doesn't have anything against gays and that is where the problems lie.

It's not different than saying that he doesn't like being around a particular race. But is it a problem at all since he has no desire to remove their rights and isn't really making any sort of negative judgement. Can it be prejudice if he has no judgement towards them?

Yes, good point. The very definition of prejudice suggests that an opinion was made without any information. He is taking the information from his past and he said that he has no negative opinion of them whatsoever. Good example with the abused girl. Her feeling uncomfortable doesn't mean that he has a bad opinion of men.

You do not feel uncomfortable around gays, but have you ever had a negative experience with any? Is there a group of people that you have had a bad experience with that now makes you feel uncomfortable? Yes, he probably needs to do something, for any fear is not a good thing to have. But I'd say that's probably easier said than done.

As I said, he said that gays are some of the nicest people he has ever met. The word 'discriminate' means to make a distinction in favor or against something. So perhaps he has, but he has distinguished between gays and straights, but is it prejudice? Is he really making any sort of judgement here?