Feeling Safe and Secured On myLot

@neildc (17253)
Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
July 21, 2011 9:15pm CST
I have tried a lot of times to talk about her attitude. I do it with diplomacy but sometimes it really pissed me off. Her mom even scolded her many times and there are times, wife have to use her hands. Whether it's diplomatic or not, still nothing changed with her. She continues to show disrespectfulness and you cannot see or feel she appreciates what me as her step-father and her mom do for them, especially now that she steps back to college. You cannot feel she feels our sacrifies. Well, this is another rant that I really don't want to do. A rant that I don't want my wife to read or feel about. A rant that I couldn't do on Facebook because my wife could read this and all other friends my step-daughter has on the site. At least here on myLot, I will be safe. lol Do you rant on Facebook or any other social networking sites or you feel safer and secured but welcomed on myLot? Do you feel you are being heard by more friends on Facebook or myLot? ~~ NEILâ„¢~~
4 people like this
22 responses
@toniganzon (53392)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
I rant in mylot because it's the only site that my husband is not into. And close friends and relatives aren't here as well so they wouldn't know what i'm talking about here. Like you i feel safe and secured in mylot. I can share personal things i don't have the courage to share with people around me. I can gain confidence in sharing my opinion without being judged by those close to me.
1 person likes this
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
25 Jul 11
personal things, and dark secrets, toni?
@celticeagle (120447)
• Boise, Idaho
22 Jul 11
Who is 'she' and 'her' that you speak about? Your wife? I usually rant on here but not on Facebook or any others like that. If you want to be heard by more people and have more friends on Facebook than on Mylot then go that way. Don't you have a local friend you can talk face to face with there?
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
22 Jul 11
i am talking about my step-daughter. but i don't want my wife read the rant. i can't do it on facebook because the three of us are friends on facebook.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (120447)
• Boise, Idaho
22 Jul 11
Mylot is where I do mine.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
22 Jul 11
i learned about this lately and now i will do mine here, always.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Jul 11
Personally I don't see it as a rant, I see it more that you are a caring father. She is your step daughter but you care about her and kids always feel that parents are nagging when in fact they are caring. Yes I too would use myLot to vent if I did not want others to see it on Facebook. I was told early on in my first few days by GG that myLot is a good place to vent as many are always willing to hear and place humble advise. This was great to hear from her and she is right because I am one who does enjoy chatting and or applying humble advice. For the same reason you mentioned, as I see Facebook more where many want to simply post simple phrased updates and not really caring a conversation and or being all that helpful. I wish you well and know that with time, and yes it does happen more often then not where children actually later in life appreciate all you have done for them.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
22 Jul 11
well thank you for look at the positive side. and that is actually what i am, what i am always trying to be with them. but they really don't seem to get it, or they really don't want to understand us parents. i hope and will always hope, this feeling will end. and they, not only she but all our kids, will realize their mistakes and correct their mistakes sooner. anyway, this is a long road to go by and a lifetime job, being a parent.
• United States
11 Aug 11
I do hope things get better for you all and sorry for the delay appreciation as I was away out of town for 2 1/2 weeks. I thank you for the BR!
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
12 Aug 11
you're welcome and no worries about the delay. we all have to be out and away for some times.
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
Hi neil! That's a really sad predicament you're experiencing now. I don't know about raising kids because I don't have one but I can imagine how hard it is especially with the generation of youngsters today! They are really different with my generation. Anyway, there are indeed topics that I feel safe and secure to talk about here in myLot than in Facebook. Particularly because I don't have my friends here even my family. And in Facebook, all my friends are there as well as some members of my family. And just recently, I ranted something about a bad incident that happened among my friends. I couldn't talk about it in Facebook so I ranted about it here. It's good to be a member of a site where you don't know anyone.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
22 Jul 11
It's good to be a member of a site where you don't know anyone. but on myLot, you will feel more the warmth of friendships you cannot find from other sites.
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
I agree! Because these friends will respect your opinion and will not bear any grudge on you. I thank anonymity for this.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
22 Jul 11
very true.
@flapiz (6997)
• Australia
22 Jul 11
I do some ranting here myself. Facebook is just to public. At least in mylot only few people get to read and those who read are those who are interested only. Yes I feel safe here.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
22 Jul 11
that's right, only those who are interested will read. but on facebook, even not friends can read and can go against us, publicly.
@flapiz (6997)
• Australia
22 Jul 11
Yeah. Or Friends of the person your ranting about would tell on you. Then there would be facebook fights. Unlike here in mylot where fighting is a No, No.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
22 Jul 11
fight on mylot. well, you could be new on this site. you could find one or two once in a while. but most of the time, we call it, healthy discussions. if it's really a fight, it could be stopped in a short time. there are also what we call "trolls" who usually start fights but if they are caught, they will be thrown out be the admin.
@rameshchow (5284)
• India
24 Jul 11
You have explained very greatly and neatly about my lot importance. According to me my lot is for good society, face book is for time waste...
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
25 Jul 11
face book is for time waste -
@MsTickle (24994)
• Australia
25 Jul 11
This is very true rameshchow! Well said!
@rosegardens (3043)
• United States
24 Jul 11
I hope your daughter will straighten out soon. I do same as you. Very few people on FB know about my mylot and I want to keep it that way. I do not like to write about others, but sometimes I do and try to do it in such a way that if anyone should know me, they would have difficulty knowing who I am talking about. I don't know if I do a good job, but mylot is a secret to most of my friends.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
25 Jul 11
thank you and yes, i am also not losing hope that she will straighten out very very soon...
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Jul 11
I hope so as well! I pray for blessings and peace to be upon you and your family.
@MsTickle (24994)
• Australia
24 Jul 11
Do you know the reason for such dreadful behaviour or is it just her nature? Was she very spoiled as a young child? I tend not to rant at all or only in a very small way. I tend to be really nervous about the openness of Facebook just as you described. I'm not really too comfortable in that regard on myLot either.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
25 Jul 11
we have been puzzled actually, we really don't have the idea why she acts this way. you know, about two months ago, while we were having a conversation, i asked her why she was talking to me that way. as if we are in the same level. and replied without respect: "this is me already"
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24994)
• Australia
25 Jul 11
If she is over 18 I would show her the door and tell her to get out and not come back till she can at least show her mother some respect. I would not continue to help her or give her anything because she doesn't care about her family she is only using and abusing you. Think of the boys...she is setting them a really bad example.
@saphrina (31739)
• South Africa
22 Jul 11
Hi sweetie. Maybe whipping is too late though. One thing you can try. Leave her be. She have to learn on her own then. The hard way. You can bring a horse to the waterhole, but you cannot make it drink. Sorry, you have so much trouble with her. She can be damn glad she doesn't know me. I don't rant here or on fb, i normally keep things to myself, lately.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
25 Jul 11
good to hear from you sweetie. well, so far that is the only way to deal with it, to leave her be. and hope sooner or later she will change for the better.
@saphrina (31739)
• South Africa
25 Jul 11
We can only hope, sweetie.
@xuyxuy (435)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
I feel safer and secured here in mylot. I have all the freedom here. Unlike in facebook where its too public. If you want to complain or rant you just can't because some of your friends and relatives would react right away not only on you facebook wall but will also visit or call you personal and ask ans scrutinize. At least in mylot I'm am free to impart my view and opinions even though I really have not known personally the people here.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
12 Aug 11
no one would be brave enough to ask us here, scrutinize us or come to our place personally. not even someone will personally ask us here if we are talking and posting if it's right or wrong.
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
24 Jul 11
I feel the same way you do. I would never post what I do here on Facebook. Almost my entire family is on Facebook and there is no way I would share some of my feelings with all of them! I like it here and I too feel free to open up and share. It is one of the reasons I have not encouraged any members of my family and friends to join. I feel this is MY space and all of yours of course!
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
25 Jul 11
I feel this is MY space and all of yours of course! -
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
22 Jul 11
There comes a time when raising children that you must just let them go. If they have a bad attitude rarely can their parents change that, but life has a way of giving lessons that even the most hard headed of us have to learn. I am glad you said that mylot was safe, I use it that way also and say many things I would never bring up to my family, because I know thay cannot accept how I feel about those things.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
25 Jul 11
I know thay cannot accept how I feel about those things - most of the time.
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
22 Jul 11
I used to neildc but not much any more. As for your step daughter, maybe if she paid for her own college classes, she might have a change in attitude. Sometimes drastic measures have to be taken to make one understand that money doesn't grow on trees. She could get a job and pay for her own schooling and learn a few things in the process. It'll be a good learning lesson for her while she's still young.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
25 Jul 11
she's almost 19 so i don't think she is that young to think about looking for a job to pay for her schooling. i know this is a good thing for her to learn but this is something we thought could only be good as the last resort. as long as we can afford to pay the loans, if we even have to crawl for it.
@jaiho2009 (39001)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
hello neil, I feel sad reading about this. And i know you know what i mean,were having same problem. But i guess your situation is a bit worst than mine because she's a girl/lady which is very peculiar having such kind of attitude. Unlike with my situation...it's my son,which is more acceptable and prone in the society. Sometimes we really don't know where we've done our mistakes. Is giving/providing them too much love and understanding is the cause of these? I don't know either. I stopped asking why,and i stopped hoping as well. If they will learn their lesson,good,if they don't let it be. I am damn tired of talking and giving my advice. Sometimes i even feel tired of giving love and understanding. There was a time i want him out in the house...yes i did,i really begged him to go away and vanished. but still he knows he cannot managed by himself...but he never changed at all. I am not talking with my son for many days now dear brother... this is really sad... and people making judgment...okay...let them discipline my son,they're good parents anyway Let GOD's plan works...and let GOD discipline them,we've done our part,and God knows dear brother.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
25 Jul 11
more over, she's biologically my daughter which adds up to the consequences. but of course, i am not thinking about it all the time, i treat her and her brother as my real children. yes dear sister, i know and i feel your problem too with your son. well, i cannot add more and just hope they will sooner or later discover their mistakes and do what they should do as children of their parents. i also know, GOD has plans for our kids.
@SIMPLYD (84505)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
I feel much secured ranting or saying what i have in mind here in Mylot. At Facebook, a lot of people could look at what you have ranted. It could backlash on you too, if some people will find it offensive.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
25 Jul 11
i agree to that.
@allknowing (70594)
• India
22 Jul 11
There could still be users here who you may know but have not revealed their identity to you. It would be better that there is some reserve than baring it all!
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
22 Jul 11
there are lots of friends here whom i consider good friends even when we never met personally. there are lots of friends there on fb whom we had actually encounter face to face, in the past and even meeting them everyday. but the warmth of friendship i see and feel on mylot is something that could never be replaced with another site.
@kharlav (1672)
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
I do feel mylot is safer than any other social networking sites.. Because in mylot, no one really knows you, unless of course, they are already a close friend. I also rant about my problems here in mylot, and never in facebook nor in twitter. Problems are always a secret to me..
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
22 Jul 11
but you still need FRIENDS to share your problems. you should find ways to release your feelings when you have problems. and it's good that we have FRIENDS here.
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
I believe each and over one has to go on their way, one day she will realize the things she makes the mistakes. It's sad that she's confused to the point of rebelling a lot of things that has happened to every teenagers. I did rant on facebook though even though people notices it and cares for my problems. .
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
22 Jul 11
we'll give her the benefit of the doubt and hopefully, sooner or later, she will realize her mistakes.
• Philippines
22 Jul 11
Would have been easier to rant if no one knows me personally but i guess that can't be helped. yes, it's easy to complain here because my family won't notice and saying it to them would be too painful, not to mention it can give them a negative impression again. I am heard a lot more by the people of mylot and mypage5 other than facebook.
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
22 Jul 11
i think it's both easy to complain on the two sites. but it's safer to do it on mylot where you do not have relatives who will read our complains.
@quita88 (3716)
• United States
22 Jul 11
I think as long as you have a good reason to rant, you are always safe on mylot. ON THE OTHER HAND, I ONLY GO INTO FACEBOOK IF I WANT TO SEE MY GRAND DAUGHTER'S PICTURES....... I don't know why I can't convince my daughter in law to send them TO ME at my email address...........but no! Oh welllllllll............... I was hacked in Face book and almost lost my whole computer. By the way, attitudes with step kids are never good. Just remember, you are doing things that are good for her and if she doesn't appreciate them now, she will in the future when she gets out on her own. Don't take her too personally. When this ranting comes, do it on mylot and let it all hang out ! We all here on mylot do the same thing. We love each other here and there is room for ranting as long as the language is ok and we are not hurting a mylot member. You seem like a good sort to me, so just rant away ! hugs, quita
@neildc (17253)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
22 Jul 11
well, that is one good thing about Facebook, you can share almost everything to friends if email or snail mail will not work. well i hope she change sooner than we expected. now this is one thing other people do not realize. they say people on mylot do not know each other. so whenever they rant on people, they feel safe no one could know them. but as you and me, just for an example, have known already for years, even just here on the Lot, we feel we known each other better and longer than the people who physically beside us, around us. some people, could be that they are new to the site, has no idea how the wonderful myLot have already done to us. how we touch each others lives. how we are concerned about the health and feelings of each other, our families, just by talking with our fingers.