fake friends: how do you feel when a friend talks behind your back??

Hi viele! I don't like my friends or family talking bad behind my back. I really hate it. It will ruin any trust I have for them. If they don't like anything they should say it to me not gossiping with others at my back. Most of the time I get to them and asked them about it. I don't like to hide things so whenever I feel they have done wrong I will ask why they make such things.Keeping silence will not solve the problem. ignoring it will make you feel more hurt as you already know it. I can simply ignore it if I did not know they were talking behind my back but I can't simply ignore it if I already know they did that to me.

hello viele! you are in a tough situation i can say. like you i am not that good at confronting people. i usually find it hard to tell others how i feel specially in that kind of situations. but then, what i saw in movies or observe other friends who are in such situations is that, since they are close with that friend, it's still better to ask him/her if they have problems with you. yes, it's really tough act to do but you have to be true with each other since you are close. it's still better to hear things from them than to overhear it or others will say it to you. take what they have to tell about you and if you have done wrong, then maybe they really have a point. but then, i know true friends will tell you what they really feel about you and not behind you. it's just that there are people who find it hard also how to say it in front of you. that's what i observe. i hope for the best of you and your friend, goodluck!

Hi viele! I will be upset, too if I had learned that a friend of mine have been backstabbing me. That has happened to me and I was really angry at that person. I don't consider her my friend anymore. I was really mad at her and to myself for trusting her. I did not speak to her for a long, long time. And even though we are on a speaking terms right now, I don't initiate the talking, I just answer when she asks me something. I don't talk to her first. I still haven't forgotten what she did. She knows that that's why I think she's talking tentatively to me. Well, that's just good for me because I don't have any plans of bringing back our old relationship.

I'm surrounded by these right now. I really wanna deal with them because you can get affected by their negativity but life really is like that. There are negative aspects and positive aspects of it that you have to deal with. All I do is just talk to them whenever I have to and that's it.

I am sorry to hear that a trusty friend was doing this to you. This is not good and we would hope they were true friends and being nice with regards to us. I have had same situation before and sadly I had to distance myself from the person. If we can't have a trusty friend speak highly of us then who needs enemies. I see you are new to myLot an warm welcome aboard to you.

I think everybody talks about a friend behind his back. That is ok. It is not ok when a friend starts talking in a negative manner about another friend. Friends talking negative about another friend are no friends in my book. A true friend respect his friend and does not discuss negatives with others. So negative talk about a friend is not done in my book. If I would find out, the friendship is over or at least I would not trust that person anymore!

Okay how do I say this? there are a group of friends of mine, We've been friends from high school, well me and one of my friends since middle school. In any case, there are a few of us that talk about each other behind our backs. I am sure we all know that we do it, but we stay friends. I guess it's more that we all have faults, and well there are two of us that don't really like one of our friends, and so we don't hang out with her or see her as much as we would have in the past.

There is one of those so called "friends" in my life. I thought she was a friend, but after knowing her the way I do now, I think that she is shady. She will talk about someone behind their backs and then turn it around and say that you said it. She definitely turns things around or exaggerates what was said. I am too old for that childish behavior. I do not see her very often, but am cordial with her since she is in the same group of friends as I am. I am so careful with what personal things I tell her, because she is the gossiping type. Confrontation is not easy for me either, so I know somewhat how you are feeling. But sometimes it needs to be done. One of these days, I might just confront this so called "friend" of mine and it's not going to be pretty.

The true meaning of friendship I guess is sometimes taken for granted by some people.To others, having a friend means connection to many things, either in looking for a job or making money the easy way and some other things. True friends are people who you can trust in everything, people who are always there when you need them, people who teach you right from wrong. But if this friend of yours talks negative things behind your back, he is not a friend , he is an opportunist and using your friendship for his own personal interest.

hello, I also have those what you called friend but were not aware of it. I dont know why they are like that, I am also asking myself. Do I done something wrong to them whey they are doing that to me? I felt so sad when I realized it. I dont also know how to confront them? I dont have any idea.I just want to let you know that you are not alone. Nowadays friends are hard to find and I already proved it.

i know how it feels to be betrayed by someone you have trusted so much. I have faced it couple f times in my life so these days I am really careful while picking my friends. There was once this girlfriend i had and she was a c;ose friend to me. I never knew she talked behind my back. One day I came to know about that and i was really heartbroken but equally angry too. I just went up to her and told her I trusted her with my life but she gave me this and stuffs like that. I could see she was embarrassed and she asked me to give her a chance again but we never were that close friends again. I seriously don't care about backstabbers anymore. If I have some faults in me, I have friends who come up to my face and tell me that. i respect them for doing that coz not only are they taking me to a better road by doing that, but aren't talking behind my back too. I love them

Hurt of course! :/ You've trusted her/him and suddenly he/she will talk bad things behind your back! I've heard my best friend talking behind my back but I don't mind it even if it hurts! I don't want to ruin our friendship even if I feel I'm a fool!

I'm very careful making new friends and I know old once. They are really trusted people and they wouldn't talk behind my back. If they got problem with me they talk to me not to others. I really don't like talking behind someone's back. It's cruel, selfish and childish. However I would confront this friend because maybe this is not your real friend and you are wasting your time with him.

He doesn't deserve to have friends. He should know that. Talking behind someone's back is very cheap. Forgive him for what he has done but believe me everything will never be the same again between the two of you. :(

It's a bad thing to know if friend talk our back or back fighter. I maybe feel upset if heard about it. Because it's not good a person like that...

When i was still studying, there was one of my friends whom we always close and share every secret together. She always seen helping me to solve my drawing problem and i always helping her to solve her English and Maths problems. But one day, when she got to know another new friend she had changed a lot. She don't share her problem with me like she usually do. She even talk bad of me, behind my back. I just got to know about it through her friend. In fact, she was jealous that i am always able to solve her Maths problem. So, from that day onwards i distance myself from her.

You get used to it after awhile. It has happened to me enough times that now I just move on. They are no longer my friend, I don't contact them, and if they contact me... then I'm busy. And.. I move on with my life.

Oh My! I started this discussion this morning, I didn't know you already posted the same topic. Haha!

Friend I think I am new friend for you and shakehand for new friendship. If someone is telling about me behind me then I think ohhhhhh I am lucky at least he/she remembered me means how I am important for them. Friend I am a positive thinking women and in any event we cant think negative. We cant do anything for habit of friends but you know if we think such then next time he will never tell behind us.

Yes truly i agree with your opinion. It is very awful to see the growing people using social networks also to make friends on the Internet and neglecting the natural way of meeting them. this way people are are living in the third heaven while neglecting the real life. through this problem we create the problem of making new friends whom we do not know well except their names.