That place between Hope and Despair. feeling devastated :(

self explanatory - oh bla bla bla...i don't really care
By Leo
@d_e_v81 (360)
Singapore
July 25, 2011 5:54am CST
I was on my way home. I felt the vibration of my handphone and the ringtone resonating from my pocket. I fished it out and saw the display screen. It was you! With heart beating fast and bated breath, I answered it. The sound of your voice exclaiming excitedly on the other end 1422.51KM away. "Sorry!! We had a family game night and I just saw your missed calls! Everything OK? I was..." RINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG My alarm went. I opened my eyes. It was just a dream It COULD NOT have been just a dream! I grappled for my handphone in the dark. The display screen lighted up. No missed calls. No new messages. Now I know what they mean when they say, "Feels like I've been hit by a bus." It was more like a train. Energy zapped. Just wanted to go back to sleep but I had a job to do. Somehow I made it through the day. I know I made a mistake. You never said don't call. You never said this is over. You just disappeared. Now I'm stranded here and I don't know what to do. Tell me this ain't over. Tell me this is just a setback. Tell me we can rewrite the ending to this story. . . . Or at least tell me this is over. That place between Hope and Despair is the worst place to send me to. I know I deserve it. For the hurt I've put you through. I might never see you smile at me that way again. I might never hear your voice in the morning again. I might never have those insanely long conversations that fade into the wee hours of the morning again. But you never said "Don't call". You never said "This is over". That place between Hope and Despair is the worst. I am leaning towards Hope. That is the only comfort I have...for now.
2 responses
• United States
25 Jul 11
Awww, this is sad! Well if she never said "don't call" then call her! Tell her everything and how your sorry or whatever the situation is! Tell her if it is over you just need to hear the words so you can try to get closure. If you did something wrong think it over long and hard so next time your in a relationship you don't have to go through this again. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@d_e_v81 (360)
• Singapore
25 Jul 11
she hung up on me a couple of times... so i took the hint... i messaged her to let me know if she wants me to stop callin...she never replied... do you think i should give her her space? for how long? yes...thinking it through...another girl, another mistake, another lesson learnt... i miss her :(
@vivamir (671)
25 Jul 11
On a personal level d_e_v81.. its been nearly 11months since my separation.. he hurt me way too much and although he done countless acts to make up.. I just dont feel ready to take a risk the heartache with him again. We had such a deep and meaningful relationship (*sounds corny*) and I literally did everything for us as a unit- he just didnt care enough to do the same.. maybe one day though.. Im sorry she has just left you but surely she tried to talk to you?.. She wouldnt just up and leave out of the blue.. I hope all works out my friend..(",)
• United States
25 Jul 11
Leave a voicemail if possible. She's bound to listen to it. Chances are she doesn't want you back. Sorry! Just leave her alone so you don't seem crazy or weird. Remember if you let someone go if they come back it was meant to be. If not she wasn't "the one" for you no matter how much you think she is.
@browneyed (2522)
• United Kingdom
25 Jul 11
Hi dev, I don't know if this is your personal story or if you're merely writing a creative story. Either way, I can relate to some parts of what you've written: the emotional limbo, the uncertainty, the waiting, the yearning, the regret, the dreams. If the story is your personal experience, then I hope you reach a conclusion, even if it's an outcome you'd rather not have. Take care...
@d_e_v81 (360)
• Singapore
25 Jul 11
True story, goin through it now...i get over stuff by writing...hence the creative writin feel yes, closure would be good...this is torture
1 person likes this
@browneyed (2522)
• United Kingdom
25 Jul 11
Yes, closure would certainly be good. If you don't get it, look for a way to give it to yourself. Take care...