The turban question

@marguicha (214293)
Chile
July 26, 2011 10:52pm CST
I was sort of postponing thinking about the possibility of losing my hair as a nurse said that not everyone lost their hair. But two days ago, after I wshed my hair, I discovered that it was falling away in a hurry. On Monday, when I went to the hospital I asked again and this time the head nurse in oncology told me that the chemo I had did make people bald. She als gave me a phone number of someone who made turbans ans headscarves. I called her and she had a web page with pictures. There was no way I would use those horrid caps. So I tried on several of my scarves, placing them in gipsy ways and they looked a lot better. After that I came to the web and started checking. I discovered many places that sold turban sonline for chemo patients. They were not as expensive as the horrid turbans that were offerd to me so I bought a sort of hat and two night caps online. Meanwhile, a friend will bring me a headscaf that her DIL uses as she is in chemo. I´ll check it and probably copy it if I like it as I know how to sew. I can see that I´m full of vanity, but I don´t care. I don´t think that just because you have cancer you have to stop wanting to look nice. What do you think of that? Would a mayor illness make you stop caring about your looks?
4 people like this
15 responses
• Singapore
27 Jul 11
Recently I read an article about a cancer patient. This lady shared her story in the newspaper, about how she discovered her illness to how she adjusted to it in her life. Her hair fell out and somebody suggested a wig to her. She went to the shop and discussed about the different types of wigs with the shopkeeper, and had one custom-made. The effect was very satisfactory to her and she started feeling better about herself. Her confidence came back and she became more positive, which made her able to bear the pain during some of the therapies she had. Of course, family support is also very important. Would you consider using wigs instead of turbans? Or how about hats? Why should an illness make us disregard how we look? Instead we should gear up and face it squarely. Best wishes to you and hope you recover soon!
1 person likes this
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
27 Jul 11
When I had cancer the first time, I was living with my brother and his wife. She had suggested that I didn't want a wig although the people I worked with all suggested that I get one. I chose not to do so because I couldn't see trying to hide what was happening to me. It took almost three months before I started losing my hair, but I just used scarves that a friend had lent me. I agree that an illness should not make us disregard the way we look, but I also thing we shouldn't try to hide from the reality of what is happening to us by wearing a wig. It isn't natural. I decided to use the scarves and caps that were donated to the cancer center this time around, but now that it is getting hotter, I only wear them if I'm going to be in the sun. The people that work the desk at the motel I'm staying at said that I should just go "natural" and not use anything. I have been doing that a lot recently, but only when I go to the pool or if I am just going upstairs. Have a great week!!!
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
27 Jul 11
I am not the kind od person who hides, but also not the type that shows too much. I have to find out what is comfortable for me. I don´t wear lipstick or make up of any kind, yet I dye my hair. This is what I am as a whole. I don´t mind saying that I have cancer, although I would rather not have it. But I don´t think that a bald head has necesarily to do with me. I think I prefer to wear a scarf, as when I played I was a gipsy when I was little. And in Winter, I always wear something on my head, so I might want something warmer now. As for wigs, I have not given a thought to them yet, although a few years ago I would have given any thing to have Farah Fawcet´s hair. I am confident. More so since this morning. Although my next chemo was postponed due to low plaquete counts, the bone marrow biopsy was good. I´ll eat more proteins, but the biopsy opened new horizons
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@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
6 Aug 11
I´m having the best support group any person might have. My friends are helping in a way I could not have imagined. In this 2nd round of 2 days in chemo, I had them taking me to the hospital (over an hour away from were they live or work), coming to stay with me keeping me company and finally, with one of them, starting a sort of cap knitting challenge . Another friend is helping with the paper work I have to do in order to have my chemo for a small quantity of money. Our government pays for most of it, but most of the people that work at the desks ar not helpful at all. I´m eating a lot of raw veggies as my garden was generous enugh as to give me asecond round of some veggies although it´s Winter. I covered the plants with plastic so they would not get frost and I have enough lettuce, kale and arugule for me and to share.
• Philippines
28 Jul 11
I agree with you, Marguicha! We don't have to look "sick" if we can help it. I say that our physical look affects our inner outlook in life. I think that staying pretty despite our illness will positively affect our perception of things, heck..of life in general. I say you go ahead and sew that head scarf. I knew you will look dashing on it my friend. In the meantime, I'll do continue to pray for you. Stay strong always!
1 person likes this
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
28 Jul 11
Whanks friend. This thing about keping th house sanitized for instance, has meant having it a lot better looking. Beauty helps us stay happy and happyness is a source of health.
@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
27 Jul 11
I got all of my scarves and caps from the the cancer center. There were volunteers who made them and donated them and we could take one or two every time we stopped by. I think that if you don't like the style that you see in one place, that you should look somewhere else. Just because one person likes something doesn't mean that everyone will. I think the person who was making the turbans and scarves may have liked the styles she was making, but it sounds like they were not that attractive. Some of the best things in life are free and that is how I got my head coverings. I never bought any of them myself. I think you are right. A major illness should not make you stop caring about your looks. But now I am a little less concerned about my baldness and have started going into the pool or running around (as long as I'm not going to be in the sun for long periods of time) without any kind of head covering. Have a great week!!!
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
27 Jul 11
I just bought some rest of materials near the hospital for about $4. With that I´ll be able to make at least 4 or 5 nightcaps which can also be used as lining for a nice pleated scarf I can make with beautiful materials one can buy in the streets. I know how to sew and I would not mind a gipsy look. I wantwed to be a gipsy when I was 10: maybe it´s the time to have my wish come true.
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@daeckardt (6237)
• United States
29 Jul 11
It's nice that you are able to do so many things for yourself like sewing. I'm glad that you are able to get the materials cheap as well. You need to send a picture when you have the gypsy look! I would love to see it!
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
30 Jul 11
I just finished a lining but my Mom said not to make more than one until I had no hair as it might be to big. As it´s Winter, I´m knitting a cap from the most exquisite and soft fake wool I could get. It´s in shades of beige. I will certaintly take a picture as soon as it is finished. I hope I can finish it by tomorrow. My doctor friend will come to shave my head and I want to show him immediatly that baldness does not mean lack of beauty
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@allknowing (130088)
• India
28 Jul 11
When a woman wants to 'LIVE'and not just exist it says a lot about that person's attitude to life. It shows how strong she is within despite whatever society thinks should slow her down. Keep going. You are on the right track
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
29 Jul 11
Thanks, friend! Today I startd to knit th most awesome cap. I went with a friend for the yarn and sh lso bough yarn for herself. She got envious. A friend of mine, a docor, will cut my hair on Sturday. I don´t want to go to a beauty shop to se dumb girls pitying me. My friend is an obstetrician and I think that if he can bring children to the world, he can cut my hair without scalping me.
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
30 Jul 11
I´d rather use my energies to get pople to sign for a chang in our Constitutin. We have one now from the time of Pinochet, the dictator. That is a lot more important nd I have my group of influence as I´m respected as a writer here.
@allknowing (130088)
• India
29 Jul 11
I think you should go to a salon and teach those dumb girls a thing or two. People like you are needed in this world who can lead the way.
@louievill (28859)
• Philippines
27 Jul 11
hello friend, I think you are a strong and beautiful lady and you deserve to stay that way cancer or no cancer, illness or no illness, although I would not be keen on wearing those turbans (although some countries wear them and part of their tradition and culture) Would you consider native Philippine hats made from a choice of different natural materials? I really think they are gorgeous and are famous world wide, you may want to look here to have an idea or do your own search http://www.hatsandbags.com/ ( i'm in no way connected with this company), you'll also be doing our poor countrymen who hand makes them a favor
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
28 Jul 11
Hi friend, I have come across in my life with the beautiful hats from Manila. But those are not for chemo patients. I need a very soft lining and not even a wool bonnet will do. As for the shape, it would show the bald head except if you lined it and placed an extra wrap made of cotton or silk. But that would be too much work. I know Philippine hats are famous worldwide. They deserve it. I think that my father had a couple of them ages ago.
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
28 Jul 11
I´m sure my hair will grow back and I´ll be able to use those awesome hats. I like them.
@louievill (28859)
• Philippines
28 Jul 11
oh I'm sorry, I was just looking at your picture and just thought you would look simply gorgeous with it plus the matching bag or what we call here a "terno" (matched set). Okay looking at your profile again, I think you would look great on that scarf you are planning. Don't worry, most chemo patients retain their hair back after the session is over, I think it's not a permanent thing, just a side effect. Get well and remember we continue to pray for you.
@bretay61 (722)
• United States
27 Jul 11
Nothing wrong with wanting to feel better about yourself.If you know someone who knits or crochets maybe you get them to make you one.If you lived close by I would make you a really nice one.I have seen some of the turbans that didn't look good.There are some really nice ones out there though.Find you some pretty material and come up with your own design.Check the computer for a free pattern and go by that for some ideas.
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
28 Jul 11
I knit and crochet. But I think I will need something very soft at the beginning at least. I bought some flannel to sew me some caps. I´ll use them at night and I might discover a way of having them as lining of a drapped scarf. I will use my imagination. My scalp hurts a lot more than the ·$%& lymphoma now.
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
6 Aug 11
Trying to take the photo at the bathroom mirror - This is my first cap. By now, I am rich in all sorts of caps as everyone has brught medifferent kinds. Two of my friend liked what I did so I´ll knitt for them too.
Hi bretay, I bought a very soft wool that you can knit with big needdles so it´s finished in the day. This is my first work of art
@bretay61 (722)
• United States
7 Aug 11
You did really good.I love it.Where did you find the pattern or did you make it up yourself.I bet they would sell well.
@JoyfulOne (6232)
• United States
27 Jul 11
Whether you lose your hair or not pretty much depends on what chemotherapy agents they give you. I lost all of my hair (everywhere) when I was going through chemo. Contact your local chapter of The American Cancer Society. From them I got 2 free wigs; if you go to their webpage, they charge, so make it a phone call and a personal visit. They took me into a room that had racks and racks of them, and mirrors so you could see how it looked all the way around. Like you, I didn't want to stop looking nice just because I was bald. I relied on different types of scarf tying when I was at home, but if I went out into public I wore one of my wigs. I think it's fine that we still care no matter what we're going through, I like to think it shows we have spunk and spirit! Marguicha, if you're on FBook, we have a group page called 'Cancer Survivors on FB', which is loaded with us gals who have had, or have cancer. Very friendly bunch! I have in the documents section on that page, a whole listing of all kinds of different ways to tie scarves, as well as simple patterns for hats. I hate how turbans looked on me, so I kept track of all the places I went for patterns and scarf ideas lol. Wishing you health and happiness! Joy
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
27 Jul 11
I did check on the web page on the American Cancer Society and got god ides. But I cannt get anything for free as I don´t live in the US. I can sew, so I will see what I can do for myself too. Thanks for the wishes and ideas. I´m sure that being happy is part of healing.
@ElicBxn (63194)
• United States
27 Jul 11
I would like to think I'm not so vain as to be overly bothered by losing my hair... but I had a friend who did, so I really can't say how I'd feel she had turbans and a wig, the turbans were pretty nice, tho a few were way more complicated than they needed to be... go figure
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
28 Jul 11
I m VERY vain. I like my head with hair, I try to fit into my jeans, I do a bit of dieting once in a while (and not precisely for health reasons). Now that this lymphoma has settled in my tummy, I want the rest of my body to be happy. It´s in part pride and in part need. I don´t want to be a "you poor thing, how sorry I am for you!". I want people to come to my house because they have a good time and the conversation is not about illness.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
28 Jul 11
I have thought of this many times as I watched others go through it. And I figured that I would just go bald and wear large ear rings and more make up, I just hate having things on my head. Of course one never knows until you truly face it.
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
29 Jul 11
Some people have beautiful heads. But as I have never been bald, I´d worried that mayby my head is not the right type. I still think that when I swear scaves in Summer, I will problably also wer big earrings. I love them. I don´t like make up though. It´s not my kind of thing.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
27 Jul 11
Hi marguicha the brave lady, you are under treatment for cancer and applying chemotherapy. Hair fall is the reaction of chemo. It is for the time being. Again your hair will grow. For this interim period you can use some thing to cover your head. Use any thing which looks you nice. Always remain a fashionable lady. I pray for your early recovery.
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
27 Jul 11
Thank you, friend. I´m afraid I have my amount of vanity. So I will certainly discover something nice to hide my loss of hair.
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
27 Jul 11
Dear marguicha To start the day, this is the best discussion for me as it oozes out the positivity in you. I don´t think that just because you have cancer you have to stop wanting to look nice. That is so very true. No illness or other things can stop you from being positive. The new turbans are really not that necessary. If you have some scarves that you feel happy about and feel they suite you better, I would suggest going for those. Maybe a little of mending may be needed but then when you would wear them, I am sure the good memories associated with them would come to you and as you are so positive, these good memories would act as healers. Not many have the capacity to stay so positive when they are hit with some major illness (even I too was shocked and spent some months to accept the Colititis and Arthritis issues but then when I realized that I really have to stay at home all the life, things became easier). following your discussions has really helped me become more positive in my outlook because I always believe that friends are real gems and come up with things that can really help.
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
27 Jul 11
I just bought some material to make some sort of hats meanwhile. I know how to sew and I can do nice scarves and turbans for a small price, once I get going. But first I will have to cut my hair. It´s getting to be a nuisance. I believe tha cancer is not as mayor an illness as the loss of someone you love. I can cope with my own body, but it is not as easy to copy with the absense of my lved ones.
@jak2010 (1550)
• Papua New Guinea
27 Jul 11
I think this is great you dont have give way for the cancer, just the normal life you lead. There is huge to need to promote positive thinking such condition as this. And you know so well, we the members of mylot are with you all the way. We morally support you all the way through thick and thin. God bless you.
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
27 Jul 11
Thanks jak. Total I had the good news that there´s nothing bad in my bone marrow, so the prgnosis is better. I´m dedicated to thinking about hair beauty now. It´s a way of being positive.
@Kalyni2011 (3496)
• India
27 Jul 11
Hi sister Losing hair and becoming partly or total bald is a must in chemotherapy, a friend of mine underwent chemotherapy for cancer in boobs, one boob was removed totally, she used wig for some days, but soon fed up, these days she uses nice scarfs, colorful ones, some she has bought, some she sewed herself I think you can stitch yours as per your choce. I and professor pray for you. Please face life positively.. Happy posting, cheers. Kalyani
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
27 Jul 11
bikdadu, I don´t eat junk food even when I´m healthy. And everyone knows that chemo makes your head bald. Sister, I´m starting to get materials to make nice scarves. I can sew and have some beautiful scarves that come from India. I just bought the lining for them and I´m waiting for a friend to call me back so that she can help me with a big haircut. I am very posistive and today the doctor gave me the good news that there was nothing wrong in my bone marrow so the prognsis is much better.
@Shankerj (241)
• India
28 Jul 11
You should not stop caring about your look, if you look good, you will feel good and will have more confidence, This gives you more positive vibes which will ultimately help in healing process.
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
28 Jul 11
It has helped me a lot in my life to care about my whole person, including my looks. That´s why I´m using my imagination and means to discover which headdress will be more becoming As for positive vibs, I hve a lot. I´m now in participating in a campaign to change our Constitution.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
27 Jul 11
Of course not! There is absolutely nothing wrong for a woman wanting to look nice as how we look can affect our self-esteem and a difficult point in life such as undergoing cancer treatment we need to keep our spirits up. I don’t blame you at all for wanting to find something nice to wear when all your hair falls out. Taking care of ourselves includes our appearance, there is nothing wrong with self-pride. I hope you find something nice to wear. I admire your spirit and I pray for your recovery real soon.
@marguicha (214293)
• Chile
27 Jul 11
I found really beutiful things online, paula. I bought some with part of my vacation money as it doesn´t seem I´ll be able to travel soon. The American Cacer Society has a web page that offers lots of nice things for a small sum. I suppose they don´t plan to go on business with the procedings.
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