People think they have a talent they actually do not have?

@Awinds (2475)
United States
July 28, 2011 2:25pm CST
Have you ever been in this situation? A close friend thinks they have a talent they do not possess: whether that be singing, drawing, spelling or something else. That "talent" may actually be their biggest weakness. Everyone knows they are lacking in that area but they themselves. It's awkward at this stage but you can usually get away without having to tell the person the truth. But let's say the person is not content to just brag about the "talent" in everyday life. Let us say they are determined to perform with their "talent." For example, they think they can sing when in reality they sound like a dying turkey. If the person performs they will make a fool of his/herself. What do you do in this situation? Do you get around that "I don't want to hurt their feelings" things and tell them, or do you let the person find out the hard way?
1 person likes this
10 responses
@bouncybug (615)
• South Africa
29 Jul 11
Wow, this is such a tough question that you are asking! I think that most of us know someone like this. I have a friend who is convinced that she is a really good hockey player, and she has joined our social hockey league. She really is quite a useless player though, but she is completely oblivious to this! And when we are playing matches that are very important, like to get to the finals of the league, she will insist on playing even though we have better players that could make it a whole lot easier for us. I still think that I don't want to hurt my friend's feelings though - I would rather not tell her what we think because I know how much it will hurt her. And at the end of the day, if we lose a match or two its not the end of the world - definitely not worth losing a friendship over in any case!
1 person likes this
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
30 Jul 11
Doesn't it bug you a bit though to let the facade continue? Don't you worry your friend might make a big fool of herself someday? (I do understand though - its so hard to tell people we like and love about their flaws).
29 Jul 11
I dated an American girl for a while, years ago, who had been a cheerleader and taken dance classes. She was convinced she was a great dancer. Perhaps in a flock of drunken, panicked flamingoes she would have been but as a human, she was awful. Since dancing is such a personal thing, I try never to judge - especially when people are having fun. Who am I to say if it's good or bad (especially since I'm no Michael Jackson either)? In her case, since she boasted about it and made such a point of telling people she'd studied dance, I probably should have said something. But I never had the heart to tell her she looked stupid. She was a horrible cow anyway, so I don't regret it.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
30 Jul 11
The ex-boyfriend's revenge, huh? :) Still - it does seem worse when people go out of their way to brag about their pseudo-talents...
1 person likes this
30 Jul 11
I'm not vengeful and wouldn't go out of my way to hurt anyone... but I also wouldn't lift a finger to help her. She's quite capable of ruining her own life without my help.
• Philippines
29 Jul 11
I have been in the said situation I have friends which I usually don't have the heart to tell to stop whatever they are doing, move on and concentrate what they have naturally. Some of my friends are trying hard talents and they insists that their particualr talent is a somewhat akin or on the same level as a professional and a true disciple of the art. Though I admire their dedication (albeit in the wrong direction), I sometimes just shut and let them do what they want. It's their life and their talent anyway. Then, they always comeback to me, asking if why they have been rejected or why some people don't appreciated. That's when I had out all the tough love. I don't even know if I have a talent. I just know that I have a knack for a thing and people come to me because of that said knack. But it's appreciated by people and I learn how to live with it.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
30 Jul 11
Well, letting your friends learn from experience might be a lesson take more seriously and remember by them for longer then if you just came forth and dropped the bomb.
• Philippines
31 Jul 11
Some people are just plain deaf when other people give them criticism, even if the said criticism is constructive criticism. They are just too stubborn. I don't want to butt heads or create a rift in our friendship just becuase my friends cling to a certain talent. Sometimes, as a friend, you need to give tough love but also be there for them in their worst state.
@celticeagle (111796)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Jul 11
Talk with them and see who in the profession they are so interested in that they respect and admire. THen have them see or send a tape or example of whatever they do and see what the person says. If it is favorable then maybe they have a talent and if it isn't you have something to work on to get them to try something else.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
29 Jul 11
That's a great idea - it also spares me the "pain" of telling them the truth in their face. Plus the company would more authoritative on the matter.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (111796)
• Boise, Idaho
29 Jul 11
I think so.
• Philippines
28 Jul 11
If the person was talking to me, I'd let the person demonstrate his talent first. If he really sucks then I'd tell him flat out about it. For these people, you wouldn't wanna keep their hopes up since they might become nuisances to other people besides you. It's better to let them know that they don't have it or that they need improvement than to lie to them.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
29 Jul 11
That's is true - its not wise or considerate to pass on one's trouble to someone else.
• Philippines
29 Jul 11
Yep. We should just cut the fuse before the dynamite explodes.
@blue65packer (11835)
• United States
3 Sep 11
I don't even say anything to people like that! I have tried in the past but is doesn't do any good. Some people think they got talent,when they don't and they don't listen to the truth! So I don't even bother! Some people are so full of themselves! It even happens on American Idiol! It is crazy!
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
3 Sep 11
I agree. It is also unfortunate. Those people end up in situations like American Idol only to make fools of themselves in front of thousands instead of one.
@Shankerj (241)
• India
29 Jul 11
If you think that a person is not having a talent, or having some talent which needs improvement, then you should tell them what you feel. This will help him ultimately, though initially they may feel good about it, but it is ultimately going to help them.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
30 Jul 11
What if they don't believe you? Or think you are just jealous? (Even though I suppose such words of truth could prepare them slightly for the grand fall if they continue).
29 Jul 11
I have a classmate that like that, she thinks that she's good in dancing, she even boast that she already won in some competition or something like that, but we doubt it because every time she dance we we're like "huh?" as in shes not good and we even think that it doesn't look good when she dance, but we can't tell her directly because we don't want her to get offended because she is not the type of person that accept criticism in a good way.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
30 Jul 11
That was the kind of person I was thinking of when I wrote this question - only in her case it is singing and playing the electric guitar. It's a tough situation because you don't want to make the person even more unbearable by having them get mad at your for telling them the truth.
• China
29 Jul 11
Well, I have such friends. They sometimes speak highly of themselves in certain aspect. For example, a female friend says she is good at singing songs with quick rethym. But actually she is not good at singing. She says so, in my opinion, because she knows she is not good in singing, so she does not expect much in singing. But she sings that kind of song much better than other songs. Then she thinks she has the talent she does not possess.
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
30 Jul 11
So you think she is making herself feel better? :)
@puccagirl (7316)
• Israel
28 Jul 11
Yes, I know a few people like that. But generally they are not close enouugh friends for me to feel comfortable telling them the truth about their supposed skills. I know it would probably be better to say something, but so far, I haven't. I don't really think any of them have really embarrassed themselves yet though...
@Awinds (2475)
• United States
29 Jul 11
What if they were determined to embarrass themselves on say....somewhere like American Idol? Would you say something then or let the crowds handle it? :)