Adoptive grandparents for your children, do you think it is possible?

Netherlands
July 28, 2011 6:16pm CST
Tomorrow I am meeting with a possible adoptive grandparent for my children. say what? You think... I had put an ad on the internet claiming I missed my parents and especially felt sorry for my children missing grandparents. A magazine contacted me about the story and I have send them the complete story and what it was I exactly wanted. Well it was published and there were several responses. One of them was out of my own town. (realise they did not know where I lived, my name or anything, it was just a coincidence) I thought this was so remarkable, Holland is not big but this was a coincidence, I started to email. Well tomorrow I am meeting her for the first time. In a public place, off course, without my childred. Do you think it is possible to have foster grand parents? Do you think it is possible for strangers to, in time, have the same feelings for you and your kids like parents would have? I know and realise it is not the same but at this time it is all I got and have nothing to loose. Please your insights are welcome!?
9 responses
@ravisivan (14055)
• India
28 Jul 11
I remember your telling us that u have siblings. I have not read any discussion about your children. I am confused. Let me come to the point raised. Yes. it is for a stranger to adopt grand children --it depends on their status and also their position - that they do not have grand children - they have adequate wealth to take care etc.-- let us what happens.
1 person likes this
• Netherlands
29 Jul 11
You are right Revisivan, I have siblings. Two, a brother and sister both younger than me. I do also have two kids (2 and 1 years old). I have been discussing them here somewhere though. In my blog however, I do not mention them, to keep them protected in some way. It would be great if this works out. Will see. Am very nervous about the meeting. I know they have adoptive kids. They could not have their own, guess they are in such a position that there is no need to worry. It is hard to adopt kids here, they screen you to the bone. So no need for me to worry about that. Will keep you informed about how it was. Thanks for the comment my friend!
• Netherlands
30 Jul 11
Well I met the woman yesterday. It sure was weird. Waiting around a tree for her to show up. She came and me and my sister went with her to get some coffee on a terras. It really was pleasurable. It felt like we sat there for hours. She was a nice lady and really showed interest in us and our lives. She has some adoptive children but they are not as old too have their own kids. They both love children and have had their own trouble. They can really relate to us. It was worth the trouble and we will probably be meeting again soon.
@ravisivan (14055)
• India
30 Jul 11
ienie: You have two kids! Yes. U did not write about them. U are managing yourself and four others. Great. as a single lady. The old people showed interest in adopting your siblings or your kids. Probably u wanted your siblings to be adopted by them. I thought you have an estate to look after so that the interests of you and your siblings will be taken care of. You are the better judge of the situation. Your move for adoption is right in case there are no sufficient backing to take care of the kids. What about your kids' father? He is away from you !
• United States
28 Jul 11
I wish I could do that for a father. It is a great thing to have a chance at doing. It will be nice to have some one else to love the kids. plus it will be nice for the grand parents to have kids to spend time with. I am hoping you keep us updated on this.
1 person likes this
• Netherlands
29 Jul 11
I am nervous. Soo nervous it is ridiculous. It is nice if both parties are looking for someone. They are looking for someone to care for I am looking for a pair of extra lovefilled hearts to care for my children. I would love to see this workout. I better not get my hopes up yet, might be dissapointed. We will see.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jul 11
Don't be nervous it will all work out. I will see if this is around here it would be nice for my mother to get a little one to love too.
@bouncybug (615)
• South Africa
29 Jul 11
This is such an interesting concept! Have never thought of this at all. I didn't grow up with any grandparents and I really missed that, so I think it is great that you are trying to allow your children to have that experience. And I do think it is possible for strangers to learn to love some children - think about it, that is what happens when infertile parents adopt a child, and they certainly learn to love that child as if he/she was their own! So best of luck, hope the meeting goes well!
1 person likes this
• Netherlands
30 Jul 11
you are right. Adoptive parents exist, so why wouldnt it be possible for grandparents! Good one!
• Philippines
28 Jul 11
I don't really know what to say BECAUSE that sounds so strange to me. I wish you can really found someone who can be a great grandparents to your children. I also hope I can find one for my daughter.Good luck to you!
1 person likes this
• Netherlands
29 Jul 11
There are enough people out there who are looking for 'grandchildren'. For one reason or another. Some do not have children of their own. Some have children but their children don't have children. I guess it is like wanting to be a mother. Hard to accept when you can not be one. So if you can help eachother out with this, it would be great.
@marianne87 (3526)
28 Jul 11
As a teenager I used to adopt grandparents from one of these sites. Its amazing the old stories you get from them and the advice they give, I loved talking to Gramma Rose before she passed away.
1 person likes this
• Netherlands
29 Jul 11
I recognise your story. When I was a child, I did something similar. There was an old lady living down the street. She would put a envelope in front of her window, everytime she needed something. When the envelope was out we would ring her door and help her. She was really old and sweet. One day the envelope just did not show anymore. She had passed away.
@francesca5 (1344)
29 Jul 11
i think its true that there are a lot of older people, who for some reason didn't have children or grandchildren, who would probably love to be foster grandparents. obviously you have to be a little bit careful, but it seems like you are. i don't know if they can replace your parents though, i think it depends what you want from the relationship. i think it is very good for young children to have a friendly relationship with people of an older generation than their parents, because they can often be both wonderfully tolerant, but at the same time the child is quite respectful of them, because of their age, which is a nice relationship. i think you are right to try it, its a lovely idea.
1 person likes this
@patgalca (14362)
• Orangeville, Ontario
29 Jul 11
I would think the best thing to do would be to visit a seniors' residence and befriend a senior who doesn't have family, or at least family who lives close enough to visit. These people are very lonely and you would be helping them more than helping your children. And you would be teaching your children to do good for others.
• Netherlands
30 Jul 11
That is a good idea! Maybe I will do it. Have to think about it though.. Thanks!
@RitterSport (2452)
• Lippstadt, Germany
21 Aug 11
hi dear ieniemienie, it is possible. I only had my maternal grandma and no grandfather as my grandpa had been missing in WW II. So I asked a lovely old man I saw a lot whether he would be my adopted Grandpa as a child. He and his wife were as good to me as biological grandparents could be and I called him my adopted Grandpa. It was such a great time.
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Aug 11
hi jeniemienie yes itis possible and it does work. My best friend is and adoptive grandmother to a foster grand daughter and she keeps in touch with her all the time.Nelda now lives in California and her additive granddaughter lives back in Kansas where Nelda came from. She phones her,send her presents, went to her high school and college graduations., If she marries I am sure Nelda will be at the wedding too.Nelda is a kind sweet loving woman who would have made a great grandmother but her only son is not about to marry so she like me has no grandchildren alas.