Why People Never Contented and always LIve Beyond Means?
July 30, 2011 1:15am CST
I think it's human nature to always crave for more and more. But there's this guy.. he just texted us and asked if we want to buy his brand new SUV. He bought it not cash.. (I can't remember the term right now) but will pay for it monthly for five years. First he had another SUV (second hand). He sold it to buy a new one (second hand again). Both are so good already and really useful, but he sold again for this brandnew one. Guess what? I heard they are not completely paid for those they sold. I don't know how they deal with it. Anyways, after buying this brand new one, they said they won't sell it again because it's always their dream to buy a brand new vehicle and they wont ask for more. But to our shock, they actually bought another vehicle (another brand new). My point is, they don't have a stable job to pay for those. Now they are selling it to us and giving us the "opportunity" to pay for the remaining months (which are 4+years) to pay for that. Why do we humans, most of us, never limit ourselves? Why can't we accept we can't have everything and in the end we always put ourselves in hard situations? Why do we always want to live beyond what we can afford?
2 people like this
14 Apr 12
Hi, Bannybanzie, I think that, a lot of the time, people who live beyond their means in this way fall into one of two categories: 1) People with an underlying emotional problem that they don't want to deal with 2) People who were raised in an indulgent household and who now have no clue about how to take care of themselves People in the first category believe that, by buying enough material things and surrounding themselves with physical proof of their wealth (or whatever wealth they think they have), they will be able to fill some kind of emotional void in themselves and will finally feel better. It is the same sort of thing that happens when people "eat their feelings" by gorging on junk food when they are upset. People seek to soothe themselves with physical, consumable things, and the sad truth is that they will probably never be able to succeed. Sometimes, these people had difficult childhoods and felt deprived of the things that "everyone else" seemed to have, and so, in their adulthood, they use whatever money they have to try to make up for all the years they spent without the mountain of material possessions that we now consider necessary. Of course, this is not an excuse for acting in the silly way that you have described (my favourite part was your friends' idea that they were giving you the "opportunity" to spend the next four years of your life paying for their mistake), but it is a way to understand how people can so easily throw reason (and their money) out the window. People in the second category were raised in a household where money was not an object and they received whatever they wanted from their parents, without being made to understand its value. These are the kind of people who, as children, constantly went shopping with their parents and received toys and games in a desperate attempt to keep them quiet while the parents took care of errands. They see material things as things that they deserve for whatever little task they complete. Even if they are not particularly successful and do not make a lot of money, they feel as though whatever work they do entitles them to have whatever they want. They have a disproportionate understanding of how much work is necessary to merit a certain reward, and they are frequently (and unpleasantly) surprised when the bills show up at the end of the month, needing to be paid.
• United States
25 Aug 11
Some people find comfort in material tangible stuff. Sadly even if they can't afford them they just have to have them. There are some who are a bit over zealous and want to get all the latest and greatest, while some live pay check to pay check and struggling beyond means. I do know a few people like this who as soon as they see and or hear of someone with something new, shortly after they too get yet an advanced version. These are the same people always worried about how to pay their bills. Nothing wrong with splurging from time to time but it should be done with reason.
1 Aug 11
Well, isn't that one of the goal in this life? To fulfill our needs and wants? Just like the trend is always changing, it applies to human's needs too. As long as we can afford it, I guess it does not matter... On the other hands wen we could not afford it, we should really hold a restraint to our needs.
31 Jul 11
I think that basically the answer to this lies in the words "human race". We do seem to be in a race to get better homes, cars and other possessions as it it a mark that we have made it, that we are successful. From a very young age, it seems that society trains us to get better grades, for better jobs, to get better homes and to get more money and when we get it right, we get approval. Most of us are totally focused on this and if there is a short-cut, like borrowing money or getting credit, it will get us approval we seek from society. It can also work in reverse. If we are trained to value poverty, like some religious monks/nuns do, then the more we can renounce wealth and all that goes with it, the more approval we get from our teachers and peers. So we see some parts of the world who live in poor conditions and only aspire to spiritual things, and other parts of the world, who have poor spiritual values and only aspire to material things. It seems to be all about conditioning. As a Zen practitioner, my aim it transcend my own conditioning and become detached. I don't see anything wrong with either position, and therefore wish to live a simple life, not one of deprivation and not one of dire poverty. If I cannot afford to buy something that I would like, then I let it go. Maybe one day I will be able to afford it, but if not, then so be it. That is the way it is. _Derek
• Boise, Idaho
31 Jul 11
Installments maybe? I don't know why people need to do this sort of thing. Keeping up with the Jones' I guess. People have to have what they feel they need and it doesn't matter to most whether they have the money or not. And some people don't seem to be very responsible. It sounds like these people you speak of must have pretty good credit or they wouldn't be able to buy like this.
30 Jul 11
HI Banny! I don't know if this guy had such feeling of greedy because of the surroundings or because of himself. There are people who like to live in simple life but got no choice when the community keep pushing to have 'better' status or wealthy but have wealth with lot of debts is not a good thing indeed. What this guy is facing is he is using his money for things which he don't need. The best principle is to buy things according the needs not desire/wish. I don't know what this guy is thinking. Perhaps he think he could sell the car for higher price to cover the payment of the previous car.Maybe??
• South Africa
30 Jul 11
This situation that you are describing happens all too often in our lives today. It is like modern life is so orientated on material possessions, its terrible that sometimes you lose sight of what is really important in life and will give up so much to just keep up with the Joneses! I watched a movie the other day actually which had this very thing as its subject - the message was that if you continually try and keep up an image with other people, you will eventually destroy yourself. Always live within your means and buy what you can afford, I say!
30 Jul 11
Hi bannybanzie, do you meant he paid on installment? If that is the case, i really disapprove of the way he is buying things. I don't think buying things on installment is a good idea because it will drain our salary. It might be a small amount every month, but when you add the whole thing together, we are paying much more than how it originally cost and I think it is really not worth it. Like you said, it's human's nature to want more and more. Sometimes, it's really important to wear a hat that fits our head because it is definitely going to give us lots and lots of trouble when we realise that we don't have enough money to spend. WHy are we putting ourselves in hard situation? I believe that these people don't plan and therefore face such situations. We must make sure that we ourselves never fall into such a situation.
30 Jul 11
It is human nature to ask for more and more. Let us assume there is a poor fellow starving for food. You call him and give him food. You tell him that u will be giving food every day and he can stay in the outer verandah of your house. Initially he wll say thanks ok. But after a few days he will ask why can't i stay inside your house? Why should I stay only outside verandah? like this needs/demands will increase. The remedy lies in the values parents have given to them when they were brought up in early days. It is good to achieve more and more but that should not spoil one's physical and mental health.
30 Jul 11
the more you those things that you never have before the more you aims for a better one and sometimes we never notice that we are going beyond the line. it sometimes reach to the point of doing those things that are prohibited by law. people does those things they never thought they would do it just to have those things they wanted...we must never forget that wants is far more different from needs.
30 Jul 11
That person is simply proud and boastful. Those people think that owning a car is a status symbol and gives them a label. It is indeed human nature to be greedy and never to be satisfied, but to want something beyond your means is selfishness and greediness beyond normal.
30 Jul 11
hello Banny, I only have one say with this matter. The lord of ev*l things is a jealous /envious man. When a person never had any contentment with his/her belonging and wants more it is greediness. Contentment only comes from a heart where lies simplicity and happiness for what he/she has. This world has enough to give ,so much to give us,but a man who is greed will never be contented even if he will get to own the whole world. have a great weekend jaiho®
30 Jul 11
Well, not everyone is like that, but a lot of people are indeed, you are right indeed! I think it is because they need material things to prove who they are, what their status is etc, instead of letting their actions, personality and inner quality do the talking. It's a huge mistake, because then you are always chasing the next big thing, but a lot of people don't realize that, I'm afraid.
• United States
30 Jul 11
If we were to ever be completely content with ourselves, it would be negative too. Staying in the same position for years without improvement or accomplishment is not a great way to vie either. If Thomas Edison had decided that using candles was fine enough, we wouldn't have lightbulbs. Contentness isn't the best thing either. That's why some men in their older twenties stay unemployed, living with their parents, and just play video games all day. They are happy being how they are, with free food and their mom to do their laundry, so they don't bother to go out and accomplish anything. People who aren't content will go and work for what they want. But if being discontent just means maxing out credit cards and spending money on things they can't afford, that's not a healthy way to live, and helps stress build up as they cannot pay for these things. Working harder to get things they want is how people can become better and happier. But in the end, it's the others around us that really count. I think a man should be happy so long as he has a wife and kids (if that's what he wants) and has a car that they can use to get around and go out. It shouldn't matter how expensive the car is or whether it is used or not.