How do you react when a stranger tries to hit on you?

United States
July 30, 2011 2:02am CST
Many strangers try to find relationships on the bus, street, at medical clinics and so on. I heard some terrible stories from my friends. They said they got scared in such situations. I was approached by a stranger once on the bus. He probably was of my father's age. So I got disgusted. He asked me for my phone number and I lied that I did not have any phones at all in my house. He looked shocked, but thank God, he left. But another time I found a man at the bus stop forcing a girl for her phone number. She tried to avoid him, but he was really dominating. Have you come across someone like that in your life? I mean did it ever happen with you? If yes how did you react to it?
11 responses
• South Korea
30 Jul 11
Yes I do.. but maybe some of the girls woudnt mind it at all if they guy is good looking.. except if they look really strange of course that is scary lol... and if they are being too much persistent and doesnt wanna leave you alone... (I was in this situation before and he turns out to be following me wherever I try to go, but hes not my type,and he keeps following and asking my phone,THIs is before I got married)i EVEN TOLD HIM TO STOP WHAT HES doing many times but he just wont listen..so iWENT TO a public place..give him a bad look and shout like this STOP FOLLOWING ME!! then I got other peoples attention and everybody was looking at him..maybe he was shock for a while and I go run and call a taxi..wew
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Jul 11
You definitely did the right thing. Same thing happened with me when I was new in my city's high school. I had to walk home after class and so some stranger on bicycle started following me everyday silently. At one point, he ended up asking me my number and I told him I did not know it. He was like please please, give it to me, I am alone I need a friend. I said sorry. But he still kept following. So I asked one of my classmates if she knew any girl who stayed next to my house and walked home after school. She said yes and connected me with the girl. I started walking home with her and he stopped following me. But I applaud your courage. Such people need a taste of bitterness. I feel those stalkers are sick. Something is really wrong with their mentality.
@webgirl01 (693)
• United States
31 Jul 11
Hey, i have internet strangers that have asked me for relationships on facebook personal message and i decline to have contact with them. I'm not into relationships right now. I haven't encountered anyone like that in person, but I dunno, i guess making up excuses about phone numbers would be a good idea. It stupid how strangers ask random girls for their phone numbers. I did react ackward to stranger whom i assume would follow me creepy.. I would just walk fast and run away. Don't give info to strangers - especially if you sense they are a bit creepy for relationships. To divineathena, when you saw that girl in the bus being forced to give her number, did she give it? what happened?
• United States
31 Jul 11
I'd actually be scared and nervous as well. strangers who just ask for phone numbers or flirt, gotta becareful for them. they might be rapists or killers and stalkers, etc. I'd be half-pissed if some random stranger asked me for phone numbers.
• United States
1 Aug 11
Internet is like icing on cake for these odd people. They are actually quite powerful online for which we have the "report" and "block" buttons on our Facebook and other social networking sites. It was at the bus stop. The girl was trying to walk away from the guy. But he really caught her bad. He took out his phone and kept saying "please please, I will not annoy you, just give me the number". That girl was like "no, I am sorry". Then a time came when she gave up and ended up giving her number. He checked to see if it was fake by calling her right away. It was a creepy scene. I am sure she was feeling very uncomfortable. What is weird is that there were tons of people around her. But none of them came to her rescue.
@Bannybanzie (1398)
• Philippines
30 Jul 11
Hi! Well I had a lot of experiences like this... mostly from buses. I remember when I was like 10 years old (I'm a big girl so people thought I was like.. 15?) the bus was so full we had to stand up. There's this foreigner always looking at me then I had a seat at his back. He took out a piece of paper and pen and then gave it to me... LOL.. he asked for my number I said sorry I don't give my number to strangers with his pen.. (and my writing was bad he hardly read it) Then he said no, I just want to be friends. I said sorry I'm not a good friend. Then he said okay and we left the bus. He was left there. Also had experience when I was 17 a man sat beside me and offered me a candy (what? did I like like a child this time?) and I just did not react and looked at him bad. Also man asking for my number. None of them got successful. Of course, I would be scared if they looked scary but no, they don't look scary at all. I just felt irritated.
• United States
31 Jul 11
Oh no, there were so many people and still he got the courage to ask you your number while standing up? He sure had a lot of courage. The candy man story is hilarious. He, perhaps, thought that you would take the candy and think he was a nice man. So you would start talking to him. A very cunning tactic on his part.
• Philippines
31 Jul 11
He asked for my number when I was sitting already.. Yeah, about the candy.. (maybe he's put some potion in it that will make me like him...LOL)
@Chicky86 (68)
• United States
31 Jul 11
When a stranger hits on me, I politely engage in conversation, while looking for any point where I can find an excuse to leave or end the conversation. In the case that they are a total creeper, I pretend like they never said anything and basically ignore them. Either way it is a very awkward situation.
• United States
31 Jul 11
Truly, the hitting thing is awkward. Still people don't stop doing this. I wonder whether they have no fear of getting humiliated. Not every girl is graceful and not every man hitting on her appears macho in this situations.
@francesca5 (1344)
30 Jul 11
its happened a few times. the time i remember best was when a man came up and started chatting me up to and told me was just going to see his probation officer. i thought this was the worst chat up line i had ever heard. i can't remember how i got rid of him, i may have given him a fake phone number or something.
• United States
31 Jul 11
Yes, that was a boring line he used. I guess he thought that this would get you curious and you would ask him why he was going to the probation officer. This would allow him to get you into a conversation. Thus, making it easy for him to get personal with you also. Fake number works, but these days only sometimes because we all have cell phones.
• Philippines
30 Jul 11
yes, it happened to me last year. I had a long trip going to a province. It took me 9 hours to travel. So many stop over. there's one guy whose drunk and sat beside me. He's pretending to be sleepy, I think he just wanna get closer to me. I wanna slap him. but didnt happen.
• United States
31 Jul 11
Was his head falling over you? I suppose some can even pretend to be drowsy just to get the touch of the woman. They think this is how it is easy to not only grab her attention, but also get her caress. But just as you described, things do not work that way.
@GemmaR (8526)
30 Jul 11
Well I'm in a relationship so I tell them to leave me alone. If we're in a club or a bar I'll just move away from them or sometimes I'll even leave the bar and go to a new one if they're really getting too close for comfort. Sometimes when they're had far too much to drink, they can't see a clear boundary between what's right and what isn't, so you have to be really clear with them so that they don't think you're trying to lead them on by dancing with them. It's also hard to see who's being innocent and who means harm by their actions so it's important to really think about whether what they're doing is appropriate or not.
• United States
31 Jul 11
Definitely, bar is one place where hitting on girls is very common. Many even go to it just with the intention to find love. But when they get drunk they can be dangerous. Under such circumstances, it can be really hard to find innocence in them.
30 Jul 11
It happened to me once, I was in this food chain waiting for my friend, she's late for about an hour because of traffic jam, so I wait for her there alone when a man approached me and said he probably know me from somewhere, but I doubted it because I can't recognize his face, so I'm just trying to be nice, and because it's a food chain, tables are just side by side, so he keeps on talking and asking me questions, at first I tried to be polite and said I didn't know him and I want to be alone and pretending that I'm waiting for my boyfriend and told him that my boyfriend will get jealous and perhaps get angry if he saw him there... but he didn't go away and said he will only go away if I gave him my cp #, so to end the story short and to just make him go I gave him a fake cp #.
• United States
31 Jul 11
Did he ask for your cell phone number? The bus stop girl I mentioned under the question had to give her correct number because the guy was standing next to her with his own phone. He said he was going to give her a call to see if it was the fake number he received from her. He sounded quite clever.
• United States
30 Jul 11
In cases in which a man is pushing themselves on a girl pepperspray is handy! Lol I am married but when I was younger I met people in all kinds of places. If I was interested I flirted back...cautiously! I still brought my friends along if I decided to meet up with him later. Never can be too careful. If it was someone I wasn't interested in I told them I had a boyfriend or husband and he was just in the bathroom or out of site. If hencame back and saw you talking to me he'd probably pick a fight. The unwanted guys always backed off then!
• United States
31 Jul 11
Pepper spray sure is a good medication to get rid of the forceful ones. I think there are some exceptions to who should hit on whom. For instance, we can take a guy of our age as okay to hit on us if we girls are not in any relationships and thus looking for love. Most girls will also welcome any good looking guy. But those who are much older than us should not try it. They just make themselves look creepy.
• India
30 Jul 11
humm well such things are very common to girls, and you should be aware of such things especially while traveling, and going to far off places you might come across many such situations, i remember such situation when my GF was working in a company and the peon used to come to my GF's cabin for tea he used to keep talking to her and flirt with her, when my GF told me this i was very furious, then when she complained the boss told her to do his work and warned him to avoid him what he was doing, so friends such things happen in life, especially with you girls be careful on each and every path where you go, and while talking to stranger always see their body language that gives you a clear picture why they have approached you.
• United States
31 Jul 11
Your girlfriend was right in her position. Such people must be reported. What the man was doing is actually equal to harassing and that is violation of organizational laws. You are totally right, such things happen to girls all the time even when they are in a relationship. Some male students tried hitting on me in school. I just told my boyfriend about it and the next day he went to give them indirect signal that I was in a happy relationship with him. But 5 years ago, he was not in my life. I was working at the time at a store. This weird guy working with me tried hitting on me. He actually tried to touch me. I felt uncomfortable and ended up humiliating him in front of my customers. He tried to take revenge on me by isolating the female workers from me. I was too young and did not have much idea on how to take action against that. So I suffered. Girls definitely need to be careful. I say they need to be tougher and must build in some attitude to keep the weird people at bay. There seems to be no other way to get rid of them especially if they have a habit of not giving up.
@puccagirl (7316)
• Israel
30 Jul 11
Yes, I think it happens to most girls at some point. Most of the time, the people who did it were okay and did it in a nice way, so I didn't have a problem with it, so I just told them I was already with someone, and there was nothing more to it than that. I see no need to be rude to people who hit on you, unless they do it in a very disgusting way or something. after all, it's a hard thing to do for most people, starting to talk to someone you don't know.
• United States
31 Jul 11
I think when we tell them that we are already in a relationship some of them might try to get away still by saying that they just with to be friends. When someone is too forceful they become annoying. This can make any girl mad. Of course, there is no need to be rude, but sometimes some of those people deserve it.