Improve your marriage by not complaining

@pogi253 (1587)
Philippines
August 2, 2011 12:48am CST
At all times say to yourself I will give you gratitude, do generous things, and complain less, even when my spouse does none of that for me. Every husband/wife wants to hear,” I appreciate the way you work hard to care for our children. Thank you for helping my mom. And I appreciate the way you……”If we accept no appreciation, we feel upset. Don’t allow your self-centered nature to rule. Give gratitude. If you show gratitude to your partner, he/she will develop. Blame will never help him/her to progress. Gratitude will. The best way to improve your marriage is to be cautious to criticize less. Say to yourself that you will say more optimistic comments and less negative ones. I will be more grateful. I will complain less.
3 people like this
11 responses
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
hi pogi, Marriage is a commitment each party must know how to appreciate each other Don't waste the time complaining instead find a solutions for it Communication is important one happy mylotting
2 people like this
@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
5 Aug 11
when she starts talking, try not talking and listen to all she is saying. keeping your silence is better than fueling the fire that she supposedly started.
@jhartana (1085)
• Australia
2 Aug 11
After living with my wife for more than five years, I discovered that trust, communication and understanding are the ingredients of happiness in marriage. We will have to stop complaining things and just to follow what is good for both of us.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
That's so sweet of you jhartana..I wish you the best with your wife. Godbless
@celticeagle (118255)
• Boise, Idaho
2 Aug 11
A person shouldn't be married to another if they can't communicate. If a person doesn't know how then they need to learn. Using 'I feel' and positive statements two people can show respect and concern for the other. You should not have to criticize if you know the person before you marry them.
@diala84 (139)
• United States
2 Aug 11
I agree to at least limit your complaints and try to appreciate more than complain but if you take away all complaints then you aren't really being honest with your significant other. It is best to talk it through in a calm and understanding way to reach a compromise or an understanding. A lot of how you feel is what you do. Make yourself smile and you really will smile after awhile. Make yourself say nice things and you will really start to mean them. That is the power of thought. =)
@Shankerj (241)
• India
2 Aug 11
Understanding between the life partners improves over the time, Husband and wife should respect each others sentiments and keep appreciating for each others good work. some time mistakes happens and that's the part of life, blaming each other is not a solution anyways, just accept, learn from mistakes and keep going ahead happily.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39019)
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
Chemistry works best. Communication,appreciation,love,trust and so many small things that often neglected in a relationship to make it last. Yes,complaining-why? None will ever complain when given proper attention and importance,unless one never get contentment or too selfish. It takes courage and determination to maintain a healthy relationship. have a good day jaiho®
1 person likes this
@bettydeng5 (1709)
• China
3 Aug 11
I totally agree with you, for me, I have seen my grandfather and my grandmother, who had a lifetime of noisy quarrel , because my grandma kept nagging and complaining, I have seen my father and mother, their relationship is not very good, because my father like nagging, my mother does not like to listen to; now for my marriage is concerned, on the whole has not yet appeared contradictory, but occasionally I will complain, complain about my husband can not give us good material life . Whenever I complain about this, our relationship will deteriorate, because no man likes his wife complained, in fact, he also wants to improve their lives, giving families more and better material conditions. Like you said, in fact, complaining can not really change anything, just more hurt each other, to bring more unhappy with each other. For a better way to influence him, encouraged him to improve their ability to give encouragement, praise, seeing the advantages of each other, help each other, then the family will be blessed.
@nurseclare (2210)
• Philippines
3 Aug 11
Hi pogi, yea right giving optimistic comments brighten minds. And that makes the relationship stronger by making each other feel how much you adore your partner. Thank you so much for making this discussion, since I am not yet married I'll keep that on mind. I wish you the best with your life and be happy with your wife. :)
@ksherrie (891)
• Singapore
2 Aug 11
Hi pogi, i agree to a certain point. Complain does strain relationships somehow. But if you term "complaining" differently, it is actually a type of communication between people. "Complain" is actually a bad way of describing feedback. "Discuss" is a more positive way of putting it. So long as the "complaining" is a 2-way thing, it is actually an active way of communicating, provided it does not end up in one word answers and quarrels. Of course, gratitude and appreciations helps a lot! That is, if the receiving and the giving end appreciate the effort(no matter how big or small) each other has put into the relationship. Seriously, if a couple can come together in marriage, they should be able withstand comments and critics from each other. Without critics and discussion, how can a couple grow to love each other, understand each other and give in to each other?
@omchesunche (1755)
• Indonesia
2 Aug 11
Hi pogi, really nice tought..I also keep this positive attitude among family member even sometimes really hard to do it..We can not hold complaining if found our partners doing something annoying or hurt our feeling..Those appreciation you mention really works well with my family..If we can keep over and over again, then our children also will have positive attitude and less complaining for the rest of their life.. have a nice day and happy mylotting...
@SIMPLYD (79764)
• Philippines
2 Aug 11
That's true. I experienced that myself. When i became appreciative of what my husband does for us, he became inspired and would also appreciate some things he finds nice in us. I believe in the saying "do unto others what you would like others do unto you".