Do You Have The Courage To Ask The Money Back From Your Friends?

China
August 5, 2011 10:59pm CST
If one of your friends borrowed some money from you(not much), but he forgot to pay back, do you have the courage to remind him to pay the money back? I don't know how's your answer, but in China I believe that many people are embarassed to ask the money back. Different culture, different answer, So how about you?
2 people like this
24 responses
@katrinapaz (2438)
• Philippines
6 Aug 11
i will surely remind my friend to give me back my money but it will be in a nice way. I really need the money and i have worked hard for every cent of it. If he pays me on time or ahead of time then i will surely let him borrow again soon but if he does not , then no more borrowing for him.
2 people like this
• United States
6 Aug 11
I'm not embarrassed to ask for it back but depending on how much it is and how long we've been friends and what level of friendship we share I might not even care to bother asking for it back. If we've been friends for 20 years and I bought your $10 lunch one day because you forgot your wallet I will never mention that money again and you'll either pay me back or you won't and I won't care. If we have known each other a year and you ask to borrow $50 because you need to buy a new tire and promise to pay me back when you get paid then I will expect to be the very first person you call on payday and if I'm not you'll be getting an unembarrassed and very frank call from me asking where the money is.
2 people like this
@enigma13 (372)
• Philippines
6 Aug 11
Yes, I do find it hard to ask my friends to pay what they owe me. I usually just forget about it if it is just a small amount. However, if it is a large amount of money, that's a different issue. My friends know me well and they know that I'm a person of few words so I only need to ask them once. Culture may have something to about it but mainly it's dependent on our personal nature.
@tears08 (161)
6 Aug 11
i think it is not about culture.. i think normally when someone borrowed money from us.. we feel shy to ask the money from them.. i feel the same.. i don't have the courage to ask them to pay me.. but mostly when we go outside like eat dinner, my friends would remember they owe me something so instead of paying for my meal, they will be the one to pay for it.. hehe
2 people like this
@emily75 (89)
• China
6 Aug 11
you have the rights to get your money back, you can tell your friends that in a proper way.good luck!
2 people like this
• Philippines
6 Aug 11
hi Robben, For me whatever you borrowed you must returned it It's means you have moral obligation to other party Besides it is not easy to gain money now a days They must understand the situation Well you can ask them politely to return the money they borrowed happy mylotting
2 people like this
@thetis74 (1525)
6 Aug 11
I always feel embarrassed and I hate feeling like that. I hope that people don't forget when they borrow something because when I borrow something I make sure I remember that I have an obligation to pay since money isn't that easy to find. And I even have friends who has no conscience giving excuses that they don't have money for the health products that they owe me, but tell others how expensive the make up they use. Some have not even paid me yet. But I got nothing to do. And that have ruined our friendship because I don't want to deal with people like these. My profit gone with the capital. There are so many bad people around or bad friends.
@Doritoes (84)
• United States
6 Aug 11
I completely know how you feel. I am also from China and we do feel uncomfortable asking for money back. I don't know why. I've been in America for a long time now and I'm kind of half/half on this situation. Part of me is saying oh just let it go, she/he probably would think I'm so cheap asking for like $20 back, the other part is telling me to get my money back! In the end, I do ask for my money back because it does belong to me and I don't feel the need to give away what belongs to me just because I feel embarrassed to ask somebody to RETURN my money.
1 person likes this
• Brazil
6 Aug 11
if the friend is in a state of misery... i can understand. But if not, you should ask for it bakc because it is a great opportunity to find out if she is or is not a real friend.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
6 Aug 11
I too am embarassed to ask the money that my friends borrowed from me but what I usually do is that I joke about it to tell them lightly about the money that they owed me to spare the awkwardness of the moment. It usually works but I can only joke about it for just 1 time. The second time is too awkward to do.
1 person likes this
@pbbbsra (1214)
• Philippines
6 Aug 11
It's not easy to ask that back... I also can't do that. myself. I guess it depends on the amount at stake. If it wasnt that much, I think I can wait a little more until he has the means to pay for it. But if it is a little bit much, I think it will not be that bad to ask my friend. Especially if he promised me a particular date, I think I will not feel shy to ask the money back but in a nice way. I will ask him if he can pay it by this time since I also have some things to pay... and if he says he still can't then I will have to wait till the time he promises another date again.
1 person likes this
• Bulgaria
6 Aug 11
Wow! I thought this wasn't a common problem at all. I am one of those people, yes. But I try not to allow this, because most of the times they're actually TRYING to forget and hope that I will, too. NO MORE OF THAT.
1 person likes this
@anurag3786 (6275)
• India
6 Aug 11
Yes this is the biggest problem with everyone. Because we don’t have courage to ask money back from our friends. But I think their should be some responsibility of also our friends when they take money from us then they also should back it at the time. Because it is bad when any person ask to back money from their friend. So if there are good understanding between both then this problems never been comes.
1 person likes this
• India
6 Aug 11
if you have given a big amount of money to your friends then you need to remind him to give money back,if you are asking for money for two or three times and your friend is not replying then you need to feel embarishment to ask him again.but true friend never do like this..but one thing keep in mind money and girl always make changes in friends..!
1 person likes this
@rajaiv0810 (1013)
• Philippines
6 Aug 11
Yes I do have the courage, even though I have to admit it is not easy. Especially if the amount borrowed is big, well i really have to ask it back. But if the amount is not that big anyway and I don't really need it I let it slip. Most of the time I would only ask it back if it is big and if I am really in need.
1 person likes this
@akp100 (13325)
• India
6 Aug 11
HI I have given small amount to some of my friends in past. And some of them already returned them on time. But couple of friends still didn't returned. Honestly even I have never tell them about it. May be because of small amount. But surely for big amount I will ask them about it on time.
@varier (5699)
• Indonesia
6 Aug 11
I have to say, yes, I have. xD After all it is my money, so it is my right to do so. Well, here in my country, in Indonesia, several people also feel embarrassed to ask money back. And then they consider the loan as a gift. As for me, I would like to see my friend's condition first. If he/she is in a bad condition now, then I more likely not ask my money back and consider it as a gift for him/her :)
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Aug 11
Around here, people seem to ask to borrow money without even ever planning to return in back. In my experience, people almost never give it back on their own, and I often forget to ask for it back when I see them. If it is an insignificant sum, it can be even more embarrassing to ask for it back, but people need to understand that they need to respect someone who was even willing to help them in the first place.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Aug 11
If I were you I would definately ask for my money back. Your friend didn't have any shame in asking so you shouldn't be ashamed for asking for it back or you may not get it back. People can be funny. Your friend may think that they don't have to pay you back right away or just doesn't want to. You owe it to yourself to get your money back all culture views aside. Just think of it as business. For the record in America its frowned up to loan money to friends. We are taught to always give it as a gift because borrowing money can ruin friendships. I hope your friend isn't avoiding you and hope you get your money back. Keep us updated
• Brazil
6 Aug 11
You're right. The problem is not the amount of money..but the attitude. When we are disappointed in anyone, our body releases toxins( poisons). Why poison yourself?? and maybe she has forggoten even.
1 person likes this
• Brazil
6 Aug 11
*forgotten
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
9 Aug 11
Dont follow me but i now dont really gives any borrowing or loans to anyone. Many times i was the one felt guilty to ask my money back from them. Next time if you want to give someone to borrow see that if he/she can feed a cat that means their issue is not that bad. Actually before we try to give borrowing we should see if any of our family who is really in need that we should help before giving away to others.
@keihimekawa (2010)
• Philippines
8 Aug 11
I do have the courage to ask them but I do it in a nice way :D There are times when my friends simply forgot to pay me back so I ask them for it. I go like "Do you remember the time when you borrowed $xx.xx amount from me? It may seem rude but I just want to ask if you have paid me yet?" Then I'll lead the conversation from there :D Money borrowed is still money even if it's from a friend and you will need every cent you can muster especially at hard times like this one :P