Being extremely particular and uncompromising about everything...

@kiran8 (15398)
Mangalore, India
August 8, 2011 10:57am CST
I was watching an ad on TV which was supposed to be for a car - the girl is buying shoes and goes to at least half a dozen shops not happy with any ...the guy is happy to drive her around since he has that particular brand of car, but can that happen in real life ? I wonder ! Some people are very particular ,even fussy I may say about every little thing !They will never compromise- like for example :- when they go for shopping they will not buy what is available, they would rather forgo or hunt around for a particular kind...It is the same as regards food, they will not eat what is available but will eat only what they like... I am not saying that this is a bad thing, but I feel that in life we have to adjust and sometimes learn to compromise and accept new things.. Friends , Please do add your own views,opinions,comments on the subject..
3 people like this
10 responses
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
9 Aug 11
Can this happen? mmmm-- Some people like us would gape awestruck at such pampering but I guess, in modern days with i ncreased female empowerment, these things happen. Coming to the latter part, I too have seen this Kiran. When it hits me, then I am upset. Otherwise, I just look at that sort of behaviour as a third party and don't think too mcuh about it, because many people do get away with that. You would also notice that they always have something or the other to crib about because they are lookig for perfection in an imperfect world. While this is a general observation,, I occasionally look for some specific thing and if it is available I would buy it ; if not I would wait and patiently search.If it is an expensive thing then I would get choosy becaues it is a onetime purchase. Otherwise I would not mind. FOr food, i would choose my food but here I am capable of adjustments.[for e,g , if I choose to take cha\pathis AND the side dish is not to my taste I can manage with some sugar too. It is a matter of just satiating my hunger.But I do have some specific dislikes and I cannot tolerate cheese , panner and the like.I would go without them. I agree with you wholeheartedly that life is one big compromise ; if we are not specific about too many things our own peace is maintained. If we are specific and noone would pamper us , then we pressurise ourselves.
@kiran8 (15398)
• Mangalore, India
12 Aug 11
Hi kala,It does happen kala and quite often too..As you say we do have some specific choices like not eating meat in my case or cheese and paneer in your case.But some people try to burden others with their attitudes.Like for example :- I have a very close relative who is a really nice person but has this irritating habit .She comes with her saree and jewellery each time we have to attend a family wedding.We dress up together and go together.However, all my time is spent in dressing her, from helping her iron her saree and blouse to drapng her saree, have to bend to hold the pleats which never seem to fall right and then hold here and hold there until it looks perfect, pass on her jewellery and do up her hair.In the end I have to hurry through my dressing in 5 minutes...I plan to dress up well, but it never happens since I never get enough timeAfter all that she is perpetually anxious about how she looks and if anyone comments about her dress or appearance , she will glare at me as though I am responsible
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
13 Aug 11
Hi Kiran, You are very sweet but being too sweet sometimes works to our disadvantage and this is one instance. I would suggest one thing though--the next time , this paragon of perfection comes to your place, you start dressing up first[if you are busy with kitchen work [being the hostess this would fall on you] tell her to do her dressing up first by herself and that you will come only after finishing your own . If she insists that you should come to help her first, because she is not too comfortable wearing a sari unlike you yourself who can be very fast, tell her then she should opt for one of those beautiful chudi sets in future. If still she insists, you better get ready first [lock yourself up in your dressing room]and help her later. She cannot keep banging against the door.
@kiran8 (15398)
• Mangalore, India
13 Aug 11
LOL, that sound good The problem is that she is older and she can be very sweet an persuasive and at the same time can put you in your place if she feels like it.Kala, I don't know how some people are able to master this art of getting their way all the time
• United States
9 Aug 11
I think that it depends on the item. There are a few specific brands of jeans that I used to have to buy, and sometimes I had to go to several different stores to find the right brand or the right size. That is because I was skinny but actually had hips instead of being a "bean pole". At that time, most jeans were either made for skinny people with no figure or heavier people with curves. If you were not in one of those two categories, then you were out of luck. When I found a couple brands that were made differently I would go out of my way to get them, because who really wants to wear clothes that do not fit them right and are not comfortable?
@kiran8 (15398)
• Mangalore, India
12 Aug 11
Hi purple, Choosing the right size of jeans is a pain ! I have a lot of experience regarding that since I go with my daughter.She too needs to go to several shops before she finds something that fits her well and now she too has found a couple of places from where she buys...I dont think that is being fussy , just that you have looked around for something and when you find it you want to stick with it...But there are people who even after finding what they want, will still find fault with it and go hunting some more to find something that is absolutely faultless which may or may never happen...
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Aug 11
When you put it like that, then I would have to agree ... sometimes it takes time and effort to find something that we like that will fit us properly and be comfortable, but once we find it we are satisfied with it. I was very happy finding the few places that had jeans that fit me, and I bought as many pairs as I could afford at the time just to make sure that I could save one so they would not all wear out at the same time. I have also heard people doing what you explained in your last sentence. They go looking for a specific thing, and yet when they find exactly what they have described they are not satisfied with it and think it should be better. I sometimes think that these people are just unhappy in general, and that is why they can't be happy with anything, even if it is exactly what they said they wanted.
@kiran8 (15398)
• Mangalore, India
14 Aug 11
Yes I guess it is that, being discontented and unhappy that makes them do that.I have a niece who hunts around for tops the whole day,finds one brings it home and the next daay she goes back to either exchange it or return saying it is not what she wanted.This is happening all the time and her parents are fed up, because some of the shops do not take back the stuff that they have already sold, and the girl refuses to wear any of them and it can be quite annoying when you really think about the time and the money wasted...
1 person likes this
@allknowing (73413)
• India
9 Aug 11
Before setting on a shopping spree I know exactly what I am looking for and therefore I spend very little time making my choice. And as for my husband accompanying me he would only come as far as the door of the shop and wait for me there which would even make me rush with my shopping!
@kiran8 (15398)
• Mangalore, India
12 Aug 11
Hi allknowing, Lol guess most husbands are like that, they dread going shopping with their wives...I am the same, I know what I want and I even have several choices if it is dress material which makes it easier for me to find what I want...I hate going from shop t shop looking for just one thing, unless of course it is important...
@allknowing (73413)
• India
13 Aug 11
So we are perfect shopping partners then. When shall we go?
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
13 Aug 11
Women should always go along with other women for shopping.If they are like minded it is all the better. Taking husbands along is not really advisable because they can never comprehend the joy of just looking at items irrespectivwe of whether we need them or not,picking 100 things and having rejected many opting for the initial few picks.
@SIMPLYD (86668)
• Philippines
9 Aug 11
I am also like that girl. When i am buying a particular thing,like shoes and bags and other mechanical thing , i have to canvass first and buy what for me is best. But when it comes to food, i eat whatever is there on the table. But of course, when we dine out , we have to look for a restaurant that serves the best.
@kiran8 (15398)
• Mangalore, India
11 Aug 11
Hi SIMPLYD, thanks a lot for your response To a certain extent it is ok to be particular about things, but when a person is far too fussy and is never able to compromise then it is going to be difficult as life goes along...It is always better to learn to compromise, it makes life easier all round, that has been my personal view ! all the best and happy mylotting
@SIMPLYD (86668)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
Sometimes to be able to like things and not be too fuzzy of what we like and dislike, we should learn how to simplify our needs and wants. When we are able to practice that, i think we wouldn't be a fuzzy as we are now.
@kiran8 (15398)
• Mangalore, India
15 Aug 11
Very true, I am sure that will definitely help.We all have our own particular likes and dislikes and we may spend a lot of time trying to find something that we like.But when it becomes the goal of life to have everything as we want and not be able to let go or compromise life can become difficult..
@dpk262006 (56599)
• Delhi, India
9 Aug 11
Hi Kiran! You are right that there are some fussy people around us, who normally do not compromise, be it food or their outfits. I have observed that if we are in a group of 4-5 friends and have gone to a restaurant, one of us might order for a dish, which will be different, he might ask for uncommon dish to show us that he has ‘different’ or ‘special’ taste than us. Another day, we were in a restaurant with some friends for lunch, one of the friends come occasionally. He ordered for rice only and did not ask for any baked bread etc., when I asked him the reasons, he said if I order any baked bread I will have to use my own hands and I can take rice through spoon and my hands will not get spoiled. I was startled to hear his answer and kept thinking that does he not take baked bread (Chapati/Parantha) at home and if so, how does he eat his baked bread?
@kiran8 (15398)
• Mangalore, India
12 Aug 11
Hi deepak, thanks a lot for sharing our views...Some People are weird in their choice !There are some who would never eat from a certain kind of restaurant, I have a cousin who comes for dinner to a restaurant but will keep criticising loudly about the food in front of he bearers and I feel really bad, pointing out a genuine mistake or fault is something else but openly criticising without any real reason is mean...
@dpk262006 (56599)
• Delhi, India
16 Aug 11
I can understand your point.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
10 Aug 11
Generally women have the habit of going shop to shop to buy a particular thing. It is loss of time and energy. I feel bore to give company with such lady. My wife also has such habit. Seldom I give her company in marketing. As for food also It is a bad habit.
@kiran8 (15398)
• Mangalore, India
15 Aug 11
Hi bhanu,It is as I wrote earlier.I too have the same experience, most men hate going with their wives for shopping and honestly I really dont blame them,some ladies are take hours together to select one single item and anybody accompanying her would lose their patience
• China
9 Aug 11
In real life, it's too common. I have ever walked along whole street just to look someting favoriate. I will give it up if I can't find it. Maybe you think it's not a necessarity. It's another word, stubborn. I don't think it's a bad personality. We still need to insist on something good. But unpromise is another tolerance.
@kiran8 (15398)
• Mangalore, India
12 Aug 11
Hi Sammy,I see this trait mainly prevalent among youngsters and I have also come to realise that it fades away as one matures and faces hardships n life.Many other things take over and our priorities change ...all the best and happy mylotting
• India
9 Aug 11
Kiranji I agree, we have to adjust, compromise and at times accept things which normally we don't like.. A bout the TV and internet, i rather like to call them as 'world of illussion' About buying things, yes i have to see and select from what is available in local market usually.. Thanks for sharing Have a nice day ahead. Professor ‘@Bhuwan@’. .
@kiran8 (15398)
• Mangalore, India
11 Aug 11
Hi Professor, thanks a lot for your response As we grow older and more mature in our outlook, we also become more adaptable and are able to adjust and compromise better..all the best and happy mylotting
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
8 Aug 11
Reminds me of when R and I were newly together and he wanted to buy me a watch, but I couldn't find one I liked that was in his budget. If he had bought me one, I would have accepted it and been happy with it, but since he asked me to choose one, I wasn't going to pick one out that wasn't right.
@kiran8 (15398)
• Mangalore, India
9 Aug 11
Hi dawnald, So you lost a watch lol...Many times this happens.I remember some such gifts that I have received which I probably would never have bought but have got used to having around now after using them...
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32266)
• United States
8 Aug 11
I am picky about a lot of things, but that's just me. I can compromise, but usually don't do so very often. Am friends with people who like the same things I do. I was taught growing up to try new things so I did, and so I guess I am an oxymoron lol..
@kiran8 (15398)
• Mangalore, India
9 Aug 11
Hi SomeCowgirl, thanks a lot for your response lol, you are being very honest 1 No doubt that we all have our own particular brand of fastidiousness regarding certain things, and as long as it does not become a hurdle it doesnt really matter.Also when things become tough one learns to compromise...all the best and happy mylotting