Are you friends with your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend?

Philippines
August 9, 2011 10:44am CST
I guess this question would depend on how you two broke up. If the break up ended well, staying friends might not be a bad idea. But if it was messy like there was cheating involved, I don't get the point of staying friends with them. My first ex-boyfriend is still my friend. Because nothing wrong happened to us when we were still together. And it was kind of like a puppy love, we were young and we "fell in love" (emphasis on the quote-unquote). We still chat at times and catch up on things. He's like a brother to me, or at least a cousin or a distant relative. With my second ex-boyfriend, there were so many messy things involved. Cheating, lying and all that stuff. So why on earth would I stay friends with him? I don't know but we all have different opinions. I'd like to hear your stories. Are you still friends with you ex? Or just civil? Or enemy? What's your side on this one?
2 people like this
28 responses
@jdex_143 (1094)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
True, indeed.. Your relationship with your ex depends on how you broke and on the reason why you broke up. We're still friends with my ex-boyfriend. I can still feel the pain he bears with our break up. I know he still loves me but I'm in a new relationship right now. I think, what I could do best is to pray that he will find a better lady than I am. I hope he will meet a person who will love him for the rest of her life. :D
1 person likes this
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
You mean you broke up with your previous boyfriend because you fall in love with your current boyfriend?Correct me if i'm wrong!
1 person likes this
@jdex_143 (1094)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
Ahahahaha.. No. I have to correct you. Hehehehe.. We broke up with my previous boyfriend because of some reasons and I don't like him anymore.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
Oh, you fall out of love?i pity your ex boyfriend.. I hope he'll move on soon!
1 person likes this
@nurseclare (2210)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
My 3 exes are not my friends, even on facebook they are blocked! Because my present boyfriend got jealous, i got messages from them and they're so annoying! I don't want to make friends to them for it's no use, they will just annoy me which I totally hate.
1 person likes this
@jdex_143 (1094)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
Hahahaha.. Good thing you unfriend them in facebook. They would just cause trouble. :D You did the right thing. :D
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
Correction jen, I didn't accept their friend request, I blocked them after they sent me annoying messages.. how about you, your ex's are your facebook friends?
@secretbear (19472)
• Philippines
18 Aug 11
Hi pinkpiglet! I don't see my puppy love anymore because they moved a long time ago and we don't have any contact. But if we did, I think we'd be friends, too like you and your puppy love. There wasn't anything bad in our relationship then. We just "broke up" because they moved and we lost contact so there. I don't have any idea where he is now. With my second boyfriend, he cheated on me, well he tried and admitted it. We broke up and he asked for another chance but I was so angry so I didn't give him a chance. And then we never spoke again. I have forgiven him already but like you, I don't think I can be friends with him. Maybe civil like a normal acquaintance, but friends, I guess not. With my third boyfriend, I think we're friends. We broke up nicely I think. ^^ I'm the one who was at fault though. But I broke up with him nicely. He understood me anyway and after some period of healing, we became friends. I feel awkward still though whenever I see him. But I think we're friends. So I guess you're right it depends on how you broke up. But I guess time will heal everything. You won't be enemies but you won't be friends, but at least there'll be civility.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
18 Aug 11
Civility is key :P
@Doritoes (84)
• United States
10 Aug 11
I am not friends with any of my ex-boyfriends. I don't know why but I just choose not to. My previous ex always texts and calls me to chat or hang out but I always ignore him and he still keeps trying to contact me. He's called me at 2, 3, or 4 in the morning before and it's kind of irritating but I just choose and ignore and not respond. My other ex's... none of them ended well. Let's just say I wasn't a good girlfriend so we all don't communicate. Besides, ex-boyfriends make me cringe. Even if I see them on the streets, I'll freak out and run away. I am very anti-exboyfriend.
• United States
10 Aug 11
Hii, I love chocolate too! Ha, I wish my ex-boyfriends were very far away. I occasionally run into them and it drives me crazy! Or they are dating someone I know which increases the chance of me seeing them or hearing about them.
@bjcelyn (108)
• Philippines
2 Jan 12
In my case, I am a friend to my ex-boyfriend and so does he; I think we're good friends. I can still talk to him. But of course there's still this awkward feeling sometimes especially when we talk about our current relationships. Well, it's just a matter of how both of you handle the break up. Some break ups end well but still the people involved are not friends; some stay friends though the break up was messy (this is a rare case of course).
• Philippines
8 Oct 11
I cannot say that we are really good friends, we're not even that close. But we're just civil towards each other. We say hi and hello and we used to communicate in friendster (there's no facebook before). But I decided to cut our communication off. I have a boyfriend, and he has his girlfriend too, and it's just proper not to communicate with him.
@deer04 (96)
• Philippines
11 Sep 11
being a friend of our ex-lover its better to say that it is a right way to know more who they are and what they are looking for there life. friends again after break-up . its cool and its good to see that two people meet us a lover and became as a true friends after breakup.
@soulist (2987)
• United States
28 Aug 11
There are some exes that I am still friends with. One guy we dated for a month and decided that we would be better as friends than as a couple. The relationships where I am still friends with a guys are the ones that ended on good terms. ones that were mutual decision. The relationship that ended bad and there are harsh feelings I cant imagine being friends with him.
@keihimekawa (2010)
• Philippines
18 Aug 11
My ex and I separated least year without any closure. We're together for 4yrs and he just that he want to break up and haven't gave me a concrete reason as to why. He's currently married and has 1 child. We haven't talk after our break-up so I'm sure we're not friends :P But if I were to meet him accidentally anywhere, I'd simply say "Hi" for old time's sake and that's simply it :D I'll be civil but not to the point that I'd have a long conversation with him :)
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
11 Aug 11
Hi pinkpiglet! I am friends with a few of my ex-bf's. As you said, it depended on how or what the reason was for the breakup. Most of my ex's throughout the years that our relationships ended civilly still call me and a few still want to "try again", but that is totally out of the question!lol There was one or two that I did give a second chance to, but as they say "a leopard doesn't change it's spots"-in other words, there was a reason it didn't work out the first time!
@babyanna (1217)
• China
11 Aug 11
Wow~pinkpiglet,there's so many similarities between your story and mine. My first ex and I have known each other for 14 years.It is puppy love,too.Pure and innocent.Sometimes I wonder if it was love since I was just like 12 years old.But like my friend once told me,"hell,if you felt something,who are they to tell you that the feelings aren't real".I guess he is right about that.We were together for like one year and then we broke up.Now we're both grown-ups and we have different kinds of lives.I am studying in an university and he is still in the army.Yet we're still friends.Sometimes we would laugh when we think that we have actually known each other for 14 years and still stay in contact.It is a wonderful feeling. But with my second,it is a whole different story.I would love to call him a jackass.He just wanted to have fun and has no sense of responsibility at all.I told him to stay away from my life.Luckily,he did. So yeah,I guess it depends on how we broke up. Have a nice day~
@lkbooi (16102)
• Malaysia
11 Aug 11
Hi pinkpiglet, there is no reason for the two lovers to become antagonistic persons even though they are no longer to be together anymore. As what is mentioned in the popular chinese saying, it's nice to have one more friend instead of one more enemy. It's nice to discuss face to face peacefully if both sides realize that they won't be as happy as before, to continue to get along intimately anymore. It's better than to fight, to blame, to hate each other. We won't feel embarrassed if we end up our relationship peacefully. Yeah, said is easier than done and it's sure that this needs quite some time to let us to calm down. Fortunate that it's done as what I wished finally. And this was a true portrayal I had experienced long time ago and we are still friend until nowadays Both of us enjoy our happy family life respectively Happy posting
@thatgirl13 (7307)
• South Korea
11 Aug 11
Nope I am not friends with my ex. I just have an ex and am not even talking to him. We had a good thing going on and there were no cheatings or anything but we did end up what we had pretty badly. We had a nasty break up and I never had stopped loving him even when we ended it. It was hurtful and took me a long time to recover. I am ok now but we don't talk. He did add me on facebook couple of months ago and I was foolish enough to accept it. I saw he has a new girlfriend. I don't really mind though i wish good for him coz you why? Before we were in love, he was a really close friend of mine like a best bud but our love came in between and all that we had is gone.
@rawar31 (112)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
11 Aug 11
No- ooh no. All my exs are still in love with me and I'm not giving them even a faint reason to think that I am too. I mean it not that I completly dont talk to them- if we pass each other in the city then we'll casually talk, but not hugs or hold hands -nothing.Plus I never give my husband a reason to doubt me- Trust is so important to me. Dont make an effort to completly cut them off but if your in another relationship then dont put them on your schedule of importancee either.
@dismalgrin (2470)
• United States
10 Aug 11
I am not friends with any of my exes. They all did something to end our relationship because I am a girl that likes to commit and I'm looking for that guy that will too. But, these guys trashed my faithfulness like it wasn't worth anything to them so they are not worth being friends with. Now, my first boyfriend I'm not friends with him really, but he is a facebook friend. We aren't friends because we live so far away from each other. But we parted way pretty well. I don't ever pretend to have fallen in love with him and he does not pretend it ever got that far with me. We just liked each other and went out and it ended up not working out.
@katrinapaz (2438)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
i think it really depends on how the break up was. a few months after the break up we are not friends yet but then when the years have passed then we are already friends because it was already a long time ago. i think it will be best if we become friends and move on from what happened.
10 Aug 11
It's hard to stay friends with someone after you tell them you no longer want to be with them romantically or they tell you that. Regardless if there was lying or cheating involved, there are few circumstances where I felt the need or urge to want to remain friends with someone I broke up with. Unless the break-up is mutual, and you're both mature, more often than not, things are going to be awkward when one of you begins seeing someone else. Also, it's difficult to truly move on from a long term relationship when you still remain in contact with that person. In my experience, people usually remain friends with exes when the relationship ends early. Before there was a chance for a strong romantic bond to form, so things are still on the friendship tip.
10 Aug 11
hi pink:) I think there's nothing wrong if you and your Ex-bf is still friends,but you are right that if a relationships just end because of cheating or anything like that, then maybe it's better if you just stay as someone who know each other from the past, because the bad memories might come back when you still become friends, but maybe in time you can be friends also, just let time do it's thing.
@keihimekawa (2010)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
Your reason is as good as mine :D It will all depend on how you break up. My ex (we're in a 4yrs steady relationship before we broke up) and I haven't communicated ever since we broke up. Until now there's no closure on the reason why we separated. Friends.. Hm.. I don't really mind being friends with my ex but of course, there's this line "I can forgive but cannot easily forget" :D
@fantabulus (4006)
• India
10 Aug 11
Haahah... nice question but my X boy friend is my husband so no chance to meet again and current boy friend is also my husband and my future boy friends will also my husband. But not problem if your X boy friend or girls friends is your friend.