Do we blame the parents?

@Jenith (1382)
Philippines
August 10, 2011 1:55am CST
Internet cafe is booming here in our city. The charge per hour varies like Php15.00, Php20.00, Php12.00, or Php10.00 pesos. People from all walks of life tends to go to the internet cafe to get updated for anything.. (i.e.current events, weather, games). Some wants to have a communication with their long lost friends in distant places, some are addicted to facebook and some also wants to find their lifetime partner through chatting. For students instead of going to the library to do some research, they find it easier to go online to do the same task even if they gonna pay certain amount per hour using the internet. We can find almost everything in the internet specially online games and most of the kids and teenagers were addicted to it. Some parents are blaming the internet cafe owner for having this kind of business 'cause their kids wants to play all the time. In your own point of view guys, do you think you can put all the blame to the internet cafe owner or simply blame yourself as parent? 'cause as parents you have the right to take disciplinary action to your kid if you think what he's doing is wrong. Don't you think that maybe you are giving your kids too much allowance that's why they become addicted to the internet?
1 person likes this
16 responses
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
The business owners are just doing their own thing. Parents should do their part too. The Cafe Owner simply put up a business for their living, they should not be blamed for what the kids are doing.
1 person likes this
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
Oh yeah for the owner the more customer came the better, to have more income in a day and that's what they aim for. But some owners which are parents too can also find ways to help other parents who have problems with their kids. Have a nice day goggles.
@SIMPLYD (78119)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
That's what i am thinking of saying, as i am reading your discussion. The parents are giving their children too much allowance. Perhaps if we only give them enough for their fare and snacks, they wouldn't have the capability of going to those internet cafes. The parents should learn how to discern when their children really needs to go to an internet cafe. They should also be strict to their children as to their high grades at school.
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
I know parents who just give allowance for fare and snacks but still they found their kids playing at the net cafe then they found out that the budget for snacks went to the internet. What you gonna do if you are in the situation?
@SIMPLYD (78119)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
Actually, i have never been in this situation.But then, in my opinion, my husband and i would give the child an ultimatum. If he/she will still be caught playing internet games he/she will be stopped from his/her schooling.
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
What if he/she just simply love your idea. The idea for not going to school.
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
11 Aug 11
The internet cafe owners are not the ones to blame. Parents are supposed to be the ones in control of their children.
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
yeah right but I have a neighbor here who keeps blaming the internet cafe owner while she was busy playing cards. She keeps giving more money to her kids for her not to be disturb by her game. So irresponsible parent. The father was so busy working abroad to give his family a better future without knowing that his wife is so busy gambling. So sad.
@jdyrj777 (6558)
• United States
12 Aug 11
The mom need to look at herself. She is the one to blame not the cafe. She is a weak woman that doesnt need a husband who is not at home. Anyways we need to worry about ourself and not so much what the neighbors are doing. My neighbors are always commenting to me about hwo they never see me. I look out a windop everyday and see police at their houses. Why would i want to mingle with them??? They can have their daily dose of police and i will stay to myself.
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
Me too I'd rather stay inside the house than going outside doing chit-chats with neighbors, we don't know that later on they fight each other due to backstabbing. We can't choose our neighbor but we must be careful in dealing with them 'cause we can't trust them right away.
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
We cannot blame the internet cafe business or owner for this. It is our obligation as parents not to give our kids extra money. Besides,internet cafe owners are also concerned about kids who are playing for a longer time. This is business and internet cafe business is a good help for those students who doesn't have any computers at home. have a good day jaiho®
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
Yeah right internet cafe has a great advantage to anyone who has no computer at home but I do have a neighbor here who keeps complaining to my other neighbor who run the internet cafe. She has internet at home but her kid wants to play at the internet cafe 'cause he has lot of friends there. Sometimes she is harassing the internet cafe owner like you know shouting the name of his son to let him go home. She says bad words while shouting. It makes me sick every time I hear these. Some kind of bullying to other neighbor as I see it. I can't find a reason why she acted that way or maybe she just got envy to that kind of business...what do you think?
@jaiho2009 (39021)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
maybe she's kind of envy...
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
If that would be the case, what you gonna do if this will happen in your real life? I also encounter this kinda neighbor when I was working faraway from home. Hmmm not really a neighbor, she is my housemate. She always find ways to be the center of attraction in the house and she was so noisy even if others still asleep. Almost everybody don't like her and in order for me not to ruin my day I went out together with my other friend every time I see her in the house.
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
10 Aug 11
It depends. If the parents are being lax, and not disciplining their children or they do not tell the children, no, then it is their fault. If the internet cafe owner hangs up the phone when the parents come in looking for their children, or lies and says that they are not in there, it is his fault.
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
Maybe because most parents nowadays are so busy to earn for their children to have a good future. Oh yeah this is the time that we can blame the internet owner. Thanks suspenseful.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
12 Aug 11
It depends on the circumstances, but if the parents brought up their children properly, they could leave them at home and let them go out and expect that they will not do anything dangerous. However with crazies out there, I would rather that an adult go alone with the children.
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
i believe the ones should be blame are the parents.. because its there sole responsibility to monitor their children.. we cannot put the blame to internet cafe owner, though they are bound by rule of law, i mean they have to follow law that our country has set up for them as guidelines, like for example putting up a internet cafe close to a school or allowing children to inside internet cafe during class hours and with out parents consent..
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
All I know is if you want to put up internet cafe near the school it must be around 500 meters away. For allowing children not to go inside the cafe is only for net cafes near the school I guess 'cause if not, how would you know that this guy has a class or not unless he/she is in uniform. For parents consent: you would ask every internet user if they already ask permission from their parents?
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
its a general knowledge that from 8 am to 5 pm, children should not be allowed to enter internet cafe from Monday to Tuesday bacause they should be having classes at this hours, but there are excuses to this during holidays and announce no classes.. with regards to wearing uniform, it is a general knowledge again that all children whether in uniform or not inform should be ask about if he/she has a class, or immediately should not be allowed inside.. as for parents consent, i think we are both referring to Kids only and should not necessarily include everybody, by the means of it, with the exception of adults.. and yeah! kids should be ask about parents consent... its a must! a protocol and guideline that once followed will help you put your self out of trouble when the time comes, i mean when you receive complaints or summons against your business (internet cafe).. basically it is still the responsibility of the parents to monitor their children and internet cafe owner to abide laws...
@cutepenguin (6457)
• Canada
12 Aug 11
I don't think they can blame the internet cafe for running a popular business. That would be like blaming the cable company because your child watches too much television. I would blame the kids. If you're old enough to be using services like these on your own, your old enough to make choices about how you use your time. And if it is the kids' fault, it's the parent's responsibility to help their kid or teen learn how to handle the internet and how to manage their time.
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
Yeah right but I'm just disappointed with my neighbor who is so annoying. I can't take her nuisance. She keeps telling our neighbor here that they are bad influence for everybody 'cause kids are addicted into it.
@dismalgrin (2470)
• United States
11 Aug 11
I am getting sick of seeing parents trying to shift the blame for their bad parenting on other people. I mean, take responsibility for your own children! Is your child dressing like a pop star? Stop buying them those kinds of clothes. Are they watching violent shows on TV? Turn it off! Are they going to an internet cafe to play games? Stop giving them money! Parents have to do what they have to do to train their children to grow up to be the kind of people they want them to be. And they are not going to raise their children to be good people if they can't take responsibility for their own parenting choices and actually try to raise their children to the best of their ability.
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
First, thanks dismalgrin for having a good thought about this issue. You are absolutely right. Parents must take full responsibility to their kids. Don't spoil your kids by giving too much allowance instead spend quality time with them.
@pbbbsra (1214)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
I think we can't blame the owner nor the parent. The owner of the internet cafe is only doing his job by running his own business. And the parent cannot be beside their children 24/7. Yes, the parents should be the one controlling and upbringing their children. But the moment they go out the house, the children get to be with different kinds of people, friends and peers. The society has a great influence on the mentality of our youth today. If the kids have friends who play and stay on the internet for hours... then they have the possibility to think that kids their age should are doing the same thing then why can't they? If most of their friends are on facebook, then most probably they will get curious and join too. Even if parents control them by limiting the allowance... they will find a way. These kids we are talking about have their own minds already and decide on their own... it is peer pressure and the influence of the society they are in that really make them use the internet in a manner that they think is right.
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
I just realize how hard it was being a parent. Wants to go for now and buy something for my parents, a sort of thanksgiving for raising me well. Thanks pbbbsra.
@enigma13 (372)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
Some cities and barangays have ordinances against internet cafes allowing students in their shops during school hours. Most of them ignore these ordinances though because of the lack of implementation from our local officials. This issue has long been debated on and I doubt there will be a permanent solution to this. I'm not saying though that we should put the blame on the internet cafes. Parents are still liable for their children. We adults know what should be done in order to avoid these things from happening; what we can do to stop them from being addicted. We should also remember though that not all parents can watch their kids full time. Most parents nowadays work their butts off to give their children better future. Can you blame them for that? Parenting is a full time job and not everyone is good at it. I still believe though that everyone is giving their all to be the best parent to their kids in every way possible.
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
I agree for a lack of implementation from government officials as I observed here in our place. Helping each other would be the best solution. Parents and internet cafe owners must work hand in hand to resolve the problem. If parents alone, I'm sure they gonna have a hard time resolving the issue if their kids already addicted to online games.
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
It's not (much) of an issue about who's to blame, but rather to know how to discipline the children, that they should be able to learn more from books and self explorations, and not from the internet and techie gadgets. I learned a lot from early reading, and it's not even involuntary! I was actually enjoying reading that time, and this is how I want my kids to grow up with. I want them to enjoy the feeling of learning through books and experiences. I wouldn't want them to depend too much on technology.
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
yeah right and technology specially computers can damage their eye sight in the long run. thanks mino.
10 Aug 11
hi jenith:) I think they can't blame the internet cafe for that, and also there is a law that they can't allow student to play or go to their cafe if its school time, so if they followed that then maybe it's not their fault if some children are addicted to it, the parents should also do their part by supervising the kids and make sure that they are just using the nets on their free time and also for research purposes.
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
I think that law is only applicable if the internet cafe is near the school. Parents must be responsible for their kids; educated and responsible parents already knew about this...but how about the other way around? the other parents who don't want to be corrected if they are wrong? parents who think that they are always right? parents who always blame other people for their own fault?
@voracious (624)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
We can't blame internet cafe's because they are not at fault. I have an experience here that there was a kid going to computer shop every noon after dismissal without knowing that the money he used to pay the computer shop was stolen from his uncles money. Its parents obligation to control their children to limit them from using the internet so frequently, but even how parents are eager to discipline their children still it's children's fault.
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
Oh yeah it's really children fault but since they are kids it's still parents responsibility to do the job. And if I put myself to parents shoes, it's kinda hard and don't know what to do.
@sjvg1976 (18034)
• Delhi, India
10 Aug 11
Hello Jenith, They should not blame the internet cafe owner for this rather they should control their kids.I have internet connection at home but i swear i wont get my kids to get addicted to internet. And if they do then i will not start blaming the person who invented internet rather i will blame myself that why my kids got addicted and why had not controlled them.
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
You are right sjvg. Parents must have full control with their kids but what if your kids are so hard-headed to the point that you are almost giving up on her/him. This is just a thought, what if's.....any idea?
@ybong007 (6659)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
It's common knowledge that anything in excess is bad. Whatever things available today especially the internet can be utilized both in a negative and positive way. In this case, it is the parents fault is their children is on the internet more than they should. A parent has the control over the allowances of their kids, not unless that kid get an allowance from someone else.
@Jenith (1382)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
Well, that's another thing if the allowance is from someone else. I just get irritated sometimes with the issue here in our place regarding this mom who keeps complaining the internet cafe owner. She even went to the Barangay Captain to file for a complaint but when the Barangay Captain call the attention of the internet owner, this parent didn't show up and when the internet cafe owner ask the name for the complainant, they didn't say anything. Then, I just found out that, this parent was appointed by the Brgy Captain as a leader here in our zone. I smell something fishy.
16 Aug 11
i agree with you on the whole allowance thing. when i was a child i was allowed 3 hours a night on the internet and that was it, and 4 if i cut out my tv time!! thats what should be being done!