The honest truth

@saphrina (31552)
South Africa
August 10, 2011 9:05am CST
Here we go again. I hope it will be the last time though. MAKING A RELATIONSHIP WORK!!! 1. Always be honest and truthful, nothing hurts more or pisses one of more than lies and dishonesty. 2, If you cannot talk to your partner, write a damn mail or letter, no matter what you say in it as long as you are honest. Communication play a freaking damn big role in any relationship. 3. Don't ever neglect your partner, that can start a war, which can be very difficult to control. 4. Always be appreciative and interested, in anything your partner do or talk about. You expect that, well so do we all. 5. Always and i mean ALWAYS, respect your partner. 6. Sometimes all the talking in the world cannot replace having a good time with your partner. Make sure to spend time together. That is extremely important. 7. Love your partner unconditionally. But on the other hand, don't let your partner take advantage of you. That is really unfair in any relationship. The one hand always washes the other. And it takes 2 freaking people to tango. I have never seen anyone dancing the tango alone.
6 people like this
17 responses
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Aug 11
Fred Astaire?
@dawnald (85135)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Aug 11
with a hat rack, actually...
@vandana7 (98826)
• India
10 Aug 11
Danced with more than two or none at all?
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (98826)
• India
10 Aug 11
Okies..
@Jlyn10 (11966)
• Malaysia
10 Aug 11
B...but I don't know how to dance the tango!
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
11 Aug 11
I'll get the whips, then i'll come and teach you the tango.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
11 Aug 11
@Jlyn10 (11966)
• Malaysia
11 Aug 11
Ouch! Painful dance. Should I learn? Maybe I should bring a partner along, so you can use the whip on him.
@urbandekay (18278)
10 Aug 11
8. Be quick to listen, Slow to anger, Quick to forgive 9. Know that just because you feel something doesn't mean it is so 10. Know that love, as well as an emotion, is also a skill and a skill that can be learned and improved all the best urban
@urbandekay (18278)
10 Aug 11
11. Ask not what your lover can do for you, ask only what you can do for your lover all the best urban
@urbandekay (18278)
11 Aug 11
To overcome anger recognise that it comes from self-importance all the best urban
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
11 Aug 11
Hi sweetie. Maybe my problem is anger. It's extremely potent for some stupid reson. Anyway, feeling things, i won't go there today. I think i have the skill mastred to love, hell i hope.
@vandana7 (98826)
• India
10 Aug 11
Blondie, are you becoming a marriage counsellor or something..
@vandana7 (98826)
• India
11 Aug 11
Suny - stop misusing the word "planning".. others will get confused..
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
11 Aug 11
Ma, you are freakinmg bad, do you know that?
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
11 Aug 11
Hello ma. No, i don't think so. I think people will run away when i'm a counsellor. I would probably whip them all into shape and agreeing with me.
@CTHanum (8234)
• Malaysia
10 Aug 11
That is so true sis..The communication and honesty are the best!(^^) I have never seen anyone dance the tango alone too~Wanna dance with me??
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
11 Aug 11
Hello sis. They would have been the best if people do it though. Let's dance then.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
11 Aug 11
@Jlyn10 (11966)
• Malaysia
11 Aug 11
Oh, CT. Careful ... saphy has a whip. This is going to be a wild tango dance.
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
hi saphy, What you've said is DARN true Sometimes I can't understand why they just can't be honest to what they feel A simple hello or Hi can make someone's day Love is freaking like this CHEERS
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
Hello honey
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
HI JAIHO
• United States
15 Aug 11
Would you believe me if I told you my guy and I Naturally do All of these. We started out as friends so we talked about Everything . So when romance was addede it wasn't hard to keep talking. We spend time together and Never , ever take each other Or the time we spend together for granted! If someone told me it could be This natural to love and support the man I love , I would look puzzled. From what I have seen , relationships are not suppose to be This easy!I'm so lucky.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
16 Aug 11
Hi sweetie. You are very lucky in that regard. Relationships ain't hard really, it's just hard work sometimes. But easy sounds great to me. Glad you are happy.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
12 Aug 11
Hi Saph, Sounds as if you are having a bad day or else dealing with someone who is. All that you say is so true if only people would remember these little rules. People need to remember and continue to do all the things that they did at the start of their relationship when it was so important what the other person thought of them...when they were trying so hard for this love. And the hardest part in making a relationship work is getting both people to be equally committed to making it work. All too often, one is trying really hard and the other is either doing things to make it more difficult or just plain not trying at all.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
12 Aug 11
Hi sweetie. A bad year sounds more like it. I think i should go see a shrink or something. I'll rather distance myself from anyone from now on. Better for the mood and temper. Nice day to you.
@jazel_juan (15747)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
with all what me and hubby been through... i learned all those you have enumerated Saphrina. So true. especially "honesty" "respect" and "trust". valuable.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
11 Aug 11
Hello sweetie. Hope everything is fine now.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
10 Aug 11
What's going on? You are angry. right in what you say but angry. Everything passes away in the end sweetie............
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
11 Aug 11
Hi sweetie. Nope, not angry, just disappointed, pissed and everything that makes one feel crappy. I will get over it though.
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
dear saphy
@jaiho2009 (39142)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
2, [b]If you cannot talk to your partner, write a damn mail or letter, no matter what you say in it as long as you are honest. Communication play a freaking damn big role in any relationship. [/b] - I really agree with this... I wonder how hard it is to send an email when everyday he/she is working on his/her computer.... I really hate that too.....geshhhh....a simple "hello" will do and surely make my day .............hello..............
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
11 Aug 11
@stine: Good that you left a NOTE... wonder how things would have went in case you two confronted
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
11 Aug 11
@inu1711 (5285)
• Romania
11 Aug 11
Hello Saphrina, Am I too inquisitive if I ask you who is the person that should have known all this rules to make a relationship work? I think this list reinforces my belief that dogs are better than any men. A dog would fulfill most of the requirements you listed. And a few more. Of course, they won't tango (literally speaking) but they can walk by your side looking in your eyes if you want.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
12 Aug 11
I have 2 dogs sweetie. Should i get another one then?
1 person likes this
@inu1711 (5285)
• Romania
16 Aug 11
No, you shouldn't get another one if you don't feel like being the lady who walks three dogs at a time. Are your two dogs large dogs? You haven't told me too many things about them. You should correct this mistake, you know? But for a 2 dogs' owner, I wonder why didn't you start this topic into "dogs" interest?
@Kojigirl (188)
10 Aug 11
It all sounds well and good. But when you get married and you do that bit about in sickness and in health, that's what can come back and bite you in the backside. My husband has been very ill, for about five years now, and I have taken care of him. Complain? Loudly to my friends, never to him. But now he has it in his head that I've been cheating on him. I'd love to know where he thinks I find time for that! But he is convinced of it, and it isn't true. What do you do then? I won't leave, he certainly can't look after himself, but it is enough to make me want to knock some sense into him. He's had an MRI to see if there's something else going on in his head, but we don't have the results yet. Relationships are more than sentences and good ideas. They are bloody hard work and sometimes you find that you will NEVER get out of them what you put into them. Then it's your choice.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
11 Aug 11
Hi sweetie. Maybe you should knock some sense into that head then. I know it's hard work. But nothing will come of it when one doesn't work on it, though. And by that i mean, BOTH. Hope your husband will get better and stop thinking things that doesn't exist.
• United States
11 Aug 11
You may think that total honesty in a relationship is the only way to go. In reality total honesty can do more harm than good. I personally don't want to hear about past relationships and ever husband has slept with.I don't want to hear that the reason I am upset is silly, I want consoling and understanding. I don't want to hear that I look like crap, even if I do. I want to be told I'm beautiful always. If my husband told me these things I would think bad about myself and that my husband was uncaring. Total honesty can hurt more than help in some situations.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
11 Aug 11
Hello sweetie. Welcome to mylot. I get and understand what you are saying, but past relationships need to be known to both. I would rather tell my boyfriend about it, than sitting and wondering about it. And if he say i don't look good or dress good or whatever, so be it. I am me and should be loved and cared for for what i am. I prefer honesty. It's just the way i am. Thanx though and have a great day.
@mods196621 (3652)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
Yes thanks to your post and serves as reminder to all of us, I am really honest to myself and to him i hate to lie but if needed why not. I honestly believe on your tips and i did some of them and follow others until now. THere is nothing wrong doing that tips and if you really a person i think all of these are done and followed by us.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
11 Aug 11
Hi sweetie. I'm glad to hear that you follow at least some of the tips. The lying, i'm just not comfortable with it, though. I know people will fib or tell a white lie now and then, but i just cannot do it. It seems unfair towards my partner. Anyway, have fun though.
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
Hello, Saphy. This made me smile. You are freaking right here , my dear. And if lovers out there will only take this seriously, then, may be we all are making love than war. I absolutely agree with you, Saphy. Been there than that and I know them all. However, show me a partner who will share the same beliefs as yours ,dear and I will make him very happy.
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
11 Aug 11
Hi sweetie. Good to see you again. I don't think people really take it seriously though. They tend to ignore the important things in a relationship, then they wonder what went wrong. Stupid actually. It's all freaking common sense.
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
10 Aug 11
Hi Saphrina I loved the #7 - Love your partner unconditionally - Some people may never agree that the Love is unconditional to be called love, but I have found that true Love always is better off when it is unconditional. I loved reading all the sage suggestions here and hope that these will definitely strengthen our (me and my wife) relation better. I think I should also mention that this is not just between lovers or hubby-wife but also all are perfectly valid for all relationships that one has - And yes, you should be honest and loyal (I hope that unconditional love here covers that)
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
11 Aug 11
Hi sweetie. I know you and your wife have a very strong relationship and that's important. Unconditionally? Not many seem to grasp it though.