Old Friends: Where are you??

Philippines
August 16, 2011 5:23am CST
I miss my old friends. Sad thing is, they are all married. I got their numbers but they never reply my messages. I feel so bad. Don't they have time to meet their old friends anymore?? Or did they find new friends? People change and that is a fact. Maybe, they have changed and forgot me.
3 people like this
21 responses
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
16 Aug 11
Are you talking about real life friends or mylot friends? It is really bad that your friends do not listen to you now.
@annavi23 (6302)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
i think she is talking about real friends my dear. well, don't feel about it cause they may be too busy at the moment they can't get in touch with you. it's just a matter of time. you know when you are married, there are things you have to keep in mind and priorities to take. friends will stand by. like one mylotter says here, try to call them and not just leave a message.
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
17 Aug 11
annavi23 - Are you sure? I think if one is talking about real life friends and they are not on mylot, how can see this post? It is true that marriage and married life make our friends busy and communication become less.
@ckyera (17261)
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
Hi dpk! I guess things like this can happen whether with our real life friends or on line friends... once in a while we can be all busy with different things that's why we are not able to communicate more with our friends and when we are already married I think our priorities changes too...
@ckyera (17261)
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
Hi Tess! I think they didn't forgot you, and you should not think that way. Maybe they are just busy with their own life, with their family specially if they also have children now. Sometimes when we got married, our priorities in life changes too. Family, work... On my part, I am already married and I also don't have much time hanging out or even communicating with my friends, specially old friends...but it's because we are living far from each other and yes we are all busy with our respective lives. They might already find new friends and I do too but the friendship that we had is different.
@annavi23 (6302)
• Philippines
14 May 12
They might already find new friends and I do too but the friendship that we had is different. I wonder what are you trying to say in here, sis! what is different? the friendship between you and those old friends and the friendship in here, mylot? Well, the good things of having friends is that you realize in the long run who's really true to you and who is there just for fun and who stayed when you need help...
@ckyera (17261)
• Philippines
15 May 12
Hi Vi! What I mean here is that our old friends might already find ne set of friends, but the friendship that we had before is different, coz the memories we share will always be different from other people... I don't mean any difference between friends in mylot and friends in real life except most of our friends here, we don't see them in person...haha and we don't know them personally. Its really difficult to find true friends...
@annavi23 (6302)
• Philippines
15 May 12
Yes, we all have different kinds of treatment to friends. some may be close just a sister and some just so-called-friends who just hang out with you cause we all wanted someone to share things with... There are also different kinds of people who have different attitudes of course. Well, I guess it depends on what have you both shared with each other. Hmmm...seems as if you have seen me in person ah? of course, friends we have in here are just virtual friends. who can talk to but never been able to see in person.
@annavi23 (6302)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
hello tess! i think it's normal for friends to be apart for sometime. but even if they don't text you, it doesn't really mean they forgot about you. they may or not. who knows? well, at least once in your life you have known them. that's the fact. people do change. friends come and go. you may treasure all your moments together. but if they are your real friends they will be there no matter what. well, there's much people all around right? you can gain friends in here as well. keep the faith!
@annavi23 (6302)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
that's good to know dear! I remember when i was newbie here, i don't know anyone but then i begin to like the site and feel like a family in here. I then gained friends who I became close with. We even chat out of this site and feels good that we do share secrets at times. It is indeed a wonderful place to gain friends with. I suddenly missed those friends I have. they are not active long time now. haven't heard from them. I just hope they're always ok. See you around then, my friend!
@ckyera (17261)
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
hi vi! how's life going on? it's really nice that you think that way...so between the two of us, even if we don't communicate that much...we know that we are still friends... hmmm, even if we don't see each other in person yet! hehe i guess it's always like that in life, we lose some, we found some...
@annavi23 (6302)
• Philippines
14 May 12
Of course we are still friends in here...but in real life, we're sisters! how's that? You know what, as I scan through the pages of discussions, I realize we have missed each other even if is just one month gap of not being able to talk to each other... yes, we lose some, we found some! life has to go on even if you don't see those friends you have back then...
@megamatt (14331)
• United States
14 May 12
Old friends far too often tend to rather step right into the night and really it is only an act of faith when we run right into them. There are just times where perhaps they just fall into different areas of life, perhaps they have what they consider to be "more important friends" and therefore, their past friends are not important. It does make you question with some of these people about their friendships. Int he end, everything is really subject to a great deal of change, including the friendships. There were people from my childhood that I thought that I would be friends forever. Barely lasted a handful of years, as people tend to just go to the different areas in life, long forgotten right in life, rather into the distance. Life moves on, some friends remain forever, but many come and go and that is a shame but reality.
• Philippines
14 May 12
People come and go. Though I am not married yet I fully understand why married people are too busy it is because they have changed their priorities in life. Some of my friends even remembers me when they need financial help. Well at least, they do remember me as their friend. It doesn't really matter. Being single is having too much freedom that sometimes you feel so alone because your old friends don't have much free time to spend with you. However, I am still grateful that some of my old friends keep in touch even just in facebook.
@ladym33 (11008)
• United States
17 Aug 11
I am sure they have not forgotten you and probably miss you too, but now that they are married it is harder to get together with people. Their husband's probably want to be with them in their spare time. The best thing for you to do would be to have a party and invite your friends and their husbands (and children if they have them). Get to know their husbands. If you become friends with their husbands as well it is easier for them to include you in things that they do and if their husbands find you trustworthy they are more likely to let their wives hang out with you or even suggest a ladies night every so often.
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
Right. When you get married, you have new priorities. You have limited time and freedom. Everything changed a lot. I fully understand that. That's why sometimes I would think that I should get married next year so that i will be very busy too taking care of my family and have an inspiration in life.
@Airen214 (50)
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
People really change after years and we cannot blame them. We do have different priorities, responsibilities and careers but if we are really a true friend no matter how big things we have encountered or we are in a simple "HI!, HELLO! and HOW ARE YOU?" would really touch our hearts remembering the memories we had with our old friends in the past.
• United States
17 Aug 11
You must be very young or have limited life experiences to be so concerned about these friends. You need to realize that with marriage come a different set of values so to speak - not counting the different set of responsibilities and budgeting of time. If these people were ever TRUE friends, they will not forget you and change their feelings toward you much at all. Just sit back, relax and let the changes take place then one day, some of your 'friends' will wonder what happened with you and seek to find out. Praying for good things to happen to you as you are growing up!
@GemmaR (8526)
17 Aug 11
I don't like losing touch with the people who I was once so close with, but it's a sad fact of life that people do lose touch with each other when things change in our lives. I still have three of my friends from high school, and to be honest with you, I think I've done very well to be able to keep in touch with them over the years because all of our lives have been so different in many different ways. Some of us are married and some of us have children; so our priorities are bound to change as we grow older and how things change.
@xuyxuy (435)
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
I'm sure they have not forgotten you. Yes, there are a lot of changes when one person got married. Since the couple now prioritize their family. As long as they can adjust with the new situation, I'm sure they will find time to get together to common friends again. But I know it will take time. Just try to be more understanding. I know you might feel alone since your missing them. But time will come you'll get together again.
• China
17 Aug 11
I am sorry to hear that ,tess. However ,i think it is better to let it go when you didn't get replies from your friends. Maybe they ,as you said ,have new friends.With the restrition of energy and time ,they are unable to keep in touch with all of their friends. Thus ,they may cut some of their friends out of their life . Although you are upset for your friends'coolness,you may turn into them someday . So just tolerant your friends and move on your life . Have a nice day !
17 Aug 11
hi:) I was going through some of my old things last week and found some letters from my best friend when I was 14/15 yrs old. In all of them, he was saying how much he missed me and loved me. He was such an awesome friend, funny and fun to hang out with. Reading his old letters brought back a lot of good memories, but it also made me sad. because since they migrated to Texas we don't have communication anymore. but I still hope that I'll see her again in time.
• India
17 Aug 11
hey tess there is nothing new people changes after some time its natural and after marriage people become more busy in life due to responsibilities,thats why they sometimes forget to reply thier friends and till peoples are in touch with us they are active but when they are apart from us sometimes they forget us.its natural thing.
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
I have just hook up with old friends from my high school days. I am thankful that a social network has allow me to catch up just like old times. Yes we have to be more accepting of the changes that are happening since we are no longer the person that we were before. We all have our own priorities. Do not judge them rudely because as I said they have different priorities and maybe you got more time on your hands compared to them.
@toniganzon (49971)
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
That's too bad! Or maybe they're just too busy taking care of their family, they don't have time to meet you, not that they have forgotten you. Or some people are just too ashamed to meet their friends again because they believed that they have made the wrong choice in life. There might be a lot of reasons why they couldn't get back to you. Someday they'll have that time i hope.
• China
17 Aug 11
That's is not real friend if they don't reply to you when you send the message, it is not deserve to make friends with them. A real friend is the one who never forget you no matter where they are and what they do. There is an old saying: a friend in need is a friend indeed.
@mindym (979)
• United States
17 Aug 11
Understanding why my friends did not want to hang out as much after they got married was one of the hardest things for me to grasp. It was very difficult for me at first, but now a majority of my friends are married and have separate lives. I have learned to accept that they are married now and their lives have changed. Luckily, my true friends have not forgotten about me. Although we do not talk or get together as much, we can still pick up where we left off the last time we talked, even if it was 6 months prior. If your friends got married and forgot about you, then they weren't true friends to begin with and you will be better without them.
@daud4ms (218)
• United Arab Emirates
16 Aug 11
I also miss my old friends. Its been ages since we talked to each other. This is life, friends that stick together till end are indeed a blessing. Its good at least you are initiating to meet them, now they reply or not, its on them, at least you can say that you never forget them, infact they left you.
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
16 Aug 11
Hi tess! I am fine with it~ If one day they want to come back and contact me again I will accept it and if they leave me once more I can go through it because they are just friends. No best friends in my list. Just friends. When they were just friends they free to come and go. I make it that way so I won't put more trust and believe to them as I know they will not be with me forever and it will hurt me. I don't want to feel the hurt so I am ready with the consequences but not putting any expectation and replies from them..(^^)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
I understand your feelings. It's the same as what I feel to my old friends. They just forget. It's true that people changes. Before they're always willing to hang out with you but now, they seem not interested anymore. But there are still a few who will be there no matter what. I know so many people who managed to maintain their friendship even when they get married.
@zandi458 (27952)
• Malaysia
16 Aug 11
Not many people have the time to rekindle old friendships as they maybe busy with their real world demands. Fortunately I am still in contact with my childhood friends.