would you want a mom like her?

@rhane7315 (5649)
Philippines
August 16, 2011 9:07am CST
i just want to get this off of my chest. so here's my little rant. i just got this news from my cousin who is living with my mom. she told me that my brother and mom were fighting and after that many neighbors are in front of our house (former house that i lived in before i got married and pregnant) watching and listening to them as they argue. then my mom started blaming things (some were happened in the past) to my cousin, house maid, me, my hubby, brother. she keeps on blaming/ranting that i didn't finish my college before i got married and pregnant then tells that i'm a nobody and useless while she tells that my hubby's the same too. i didn't let my hubby know about that since he would really get furious about my mom when i told him about that. all our family secrets are known by her friends and neighbors and she's always like that when she's mad and when she doesn't have money. she also loves to stab people behind their back and when that person is in front of her she's so goody goody with that person. a natural plastic, that's all i can say. when i'm giving her advices she won't listen to me nor to my brothers. she just trust her so called "friends" who are only using her because of her money. i don't know why she didn't notice that they are only using her. sometimes, i wonder and think why my mom is like that whenever she gets angry and wishes that she's not my mom and she would change for good and not for worst. i guess if i were given the chance to pick and change my mom i would choose my hubby's mom or my best friend's mom. i know some of you might raise your eyebrows when i said that but i'm fed up with her attitude. should i confront her this time or just let it pass again just like before?
1 person likes this
5 responses
brew2x
@brew2x (3094)
• Philippines
22 Aug 11
Reading your post made me think that you could be my sister. Why? It is because our mothers have the same qualities. I'm not in good terms with my mother right now because she said a lot of hurtful words to me and my husband, the worst part is the neighbors have heard her. She told us that me and my husband are liars, miserable and she even told me to forget that she is my mother. To argue with her is worthless since she won't listen. It's over a month now that we haven't talk to each other. Unfortunately we are living in my mother's house (supposed to be given to me), she lives some place else though but I am afraid that she might upraid us because of this. Me and my husband is working really hard now to have our own properties and to give a good future for our son.
brew2x
@brew2x (3094)
• Philippines
24 Aug 11
Well, you can still be civil to her. You can update her once in a while about your life, maybe she is concern for real. If she annoys you again then stop communicating with her until things are okay again, it won't be good for your pregnancy. Just don't live with her or near your former house. Distance sometimes help. Just stay strong little sis. We have our own family now, let's just avoid doing bad and humiliating things to our loved ones that our mothers love to do. Enjoy your pregnancy and take care of yourself and your baby =)
rhane7315
@rhane7315 (5649)
• Philippines
24 Aug 11
well i guess i csn call you my big sis last monday she texted me and asks me if i can lend her some money ($150-200) i told her that i can't lend her that kind of amount because i don't have any work or business at all and right now i'm just depending on my hubby's earnings for our expenses. then she told me that i should text or call her once in a while and let her know that we're ok. i just didn't respond to her when she told me that
secretbear
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
18 Aug 11
Hi rhane! I think you just said all of those things because you were angry. Your mother will be your mother whatever happens. I've been angry with my mom like that, wishing that I had a different mother. But it always passes and things would be back to normal. The love would always be there. I think your mother is just frustrated with a lot of things. But I'm sure she loves all of you. My mother gets unlikable sometimes but I just try to understand her and I avoid her if she's not in a good mood. If I pay attention to her I will just get in a bad mood, too. So better leave her alone than clash with her. I do hope that your mother will open her eyes and see the people she can really trust instead of her blood-sucking friends. ^^ You should not stop on reminding her but do it in an understanding tone.
secretbear
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
24 Aug 11
Old people really tends to be close-minded and stubborn at times. There will come a time when she will realize all that, that her friends are not her real friends.
rhane7315
@rhane7315 (5649)
• Philippines
24 Aug 11
you're right my mom will still be my mom and i don't have a power to change it i just wish that she would take my advice and change for the good. also, i hope that she would realize that her so called "friends" are just using her for their own sake
carolscash
@carolscash (9492)
• United States
16 Aug 11
I would ask her about it and I would tell her that I really didn't apppreciate the fact that she was talking about my husband and I in a bad way in front of neighbors. I also think that you should tell her that you do not intend to include her in your life if she can't control her feelings a little more.
rhane7315
@rhane7315 (5649)
• Philippines
24 Aug 11
thanks for that advice. i haven't confronted her yet but if i'll be able to confront her i would really tell her that
vikram3101989
@vikram3101989 (684)
• India
26 Aug 11
I think you should talk to her and sort out the issues and there is no other way. I think if u discuss your problems with her may be your problems get solved. I am sure things would workout if u can express your thoughts to her. Best of luck
luvnmykids
@luvnmykids (40)
• United States
16 Aug 11
You should stop to think how this affects you and makes you feel. What you are feeling is what your unborn child is feeling. Do you want your child to grow up in this environment of unlove and constently blaming each other for everything under the sun? I know that it will be hard to avoid being around family but if you want to be happy this may be the only way. I go through some of the same issues with my family. What I have learned in life that sometimes family is not the people that you are related to through DNA but the people that you are connected to through love and respect (Friends). I am not saying cut momma off all together, but give each other space and distance so when you are around each other its not so much let me blame you for this, it will be more like I missed you so much lets catch up. Good luck
rhane7315
@rhane7315 (5649)
• Philippines
24 Aug 11
yeah i get your point and thanks for the advice. right now i'm keeping myself distance and away from her so that she will miss me if i don't communicate with her that much.