clannish families

@SIMPLYD (83349)
Philippines
August 16, 2011 9:17pm CST
Correct me if I am wrong, but I think the Chinese and the Indian Nationals are some of the people who are clannish. Their families lives in one big house , even if some are married and have families already . Some would live within one compound , with all relatives having their own houses. To be honest, my family is a bit like that. My father, took in the kids and my two sisters who were separated from their husbands and they all live in my parents’ house. Then, one of my married sister had their house at the back potion of the compound, while some relatives live in their own houses within the compound too. I find it a happy arrangement. Whenever, one have run out of a supply of something, they would borrow for that moment from the others within the compound. They share what they have , that is more than their need. When there are emergencies , help would voluntarily come from anyone from the compound. For me, it’s good and a happy thing to be clannish.
1 person likes this
10 responses
@ravisivan (14055)
• India
17 Aug 11
simplyd: it is a good thing. Of course nowadays in India joint family system is there only in a few parts. Yes. probably in Rajasthan it may be there or gujarat. In Tamil Nadu it is only nuclear family system that is followed. You are lucky to be with a number of your own family people who can help one another. Now in India joint family is there only in group discussions - we give the topic joint family versus nuclear family.
@SIMPLYD (83349)
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
But i think, having a joint family happens when the parents are well to do. If not, then it would be better for the new family to be on their own, so as not to add to the burden of the old famly. Though, when families are just within one compound and there's no rivalries between families, it would really be beneficial to all, because the compound will be a happy place for the kids to play.
@ravisivan (14055)
• India
17 Aug 11
SIMPLYD: You have changed avatar. You are changing it quite often. good. I can imagine your family to be one like what is shown in tamil movie "Pandavar Bhoomi"(Pandavas land)--In that joint family system is highlighted. The love a brother shows to her sister and + and - of it are brought out vividly. I wish in your compound happiness should be the only word known to all the occupants.God bless you all.You are in Manila, is it not?
@SIMPLYD (83349)
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
Yes, i change my avatar when i am in the mood for it. I sometimes would like to be a bit mysterious so sometimes i choose an avatar, not my real picture. But this time, i am in the mood to show my real picture. We are in the province, 12 hours drive from Manila. Actually, my family don't live in that compound but in the city. It's my parents and 3 sisters with families plus uncles' families who lives there in separate houses. I like visiting them when i have the time. It makes me feel so happy when i am there. There's really no place like home.
@toniganzon (53346)
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
Extended family! When i was young we used to live in an apartment next to my Aunt and she would run to my mom all the time for any help. Well all my mom's siblings went to her for help especially monetary help! I had fun living next to my cousins and we were like siblings. Our relationship with them got better because we lived so near to each other. However, we moved to a bigger house in 1988 but it wasn't far from the apartment which my mother kept as a business establishment. It was only a little more than one kilometer. Like you i like living near relatives but sometimes due to Filipinos crab mentality, i just prefer to live far away from jealous relatives.
@SIMPLYD (83349)
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
It's really fun to have your family and relatives within an arm's length . However, when some would have that crab mentality as you have mentioned, then it's better that they leave the compound and be by themselves only. But for an extended family to prosper, there should be love, fairness and consideration for each and everyone.
@SIMPLYD (83349)
• Philippines
22 Aug 11
Correct! I would rather live without those relatives, if they are jealous and envious ones.
@bonding2 (219)
• South Africa
20 Mar 12
That is true your are not wrong at least that is the way most of us who are not from this nationals see it . they may have there internal wrangling but they are more united and takes brotherhood to another level.
@SIMPLYD (83349)
• Philippines
21 Mar 12
That's what is best with clannish families. They tend to be united in protecting the entire clan. That's why nobody should mess with a clannish family. Right, my friend?
@pibi713 (187)
• China
21 Aug 11
The family members live together or live near to each other is great. They can help each other and never feel lonely. And kids can play together.
@SIMPLYD (83349)
• Philippines
22 Aug 11
Yes, when family members or relatives live near each other, they tend to be closer to each other. They can help one another when someone needs help. And that should be the case with family members and relatives.
@airamtheb (370)
20 Aug 11
I agree with you Simplyd. Living in a family compound is beneficial for the family members provided they live harmoniously. Like you, i do live with my mom within a maternal family compound separated by concrete fences but with side gates for our accessibility to an aunt's or uncle's house. Every new year, the family will gather together in our house for the traditional program and fun games.
@SIMPLYD (83349)
• Philippines
22 Aug 11
Yes, provided that everybody lives harmoniously, that's the catch there. What's nice about living within a compound is that when there's a big occasion like Christmas, we can opt to have a big table where we could share our pot luck food. That way, we minimize the cost of having to cook a lot for the family alone and it's a lot more fun!
• India
18 Aug 11
Dear Dina Thanks for sharing in details. Here in my state and nearby states you can still see family having 30 or more members, the grandparents, the kids with their family and grandkid with their families still live together, have common kitchen, the ladis cook together, no fights, no quarrels.. But i have marked one thing now a days, the present day guys prefer to stay with wife and kids, no love, no respect for the parent. Mine is a very very happy family, my sons, their wife and kids live with me and Kalyani I have 2 big buildings. Bhuwan
@SIMPLYD (83349)
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
Yes, i have noticed in one of Kalyani's responses that your sons and their families live with you and are happy being together. It's really a joy to have your family always together with you, specially when you are getting older. At least, they will always be there to look after you.
@dpk262006 (56482)
• Delhi, India
17 Aug 11
I think you mean to say 'joint family system'? It is there where parents live with their sons and daughters-in-law. However, joint family system is crumbling gradually and couples are staying alone due to paucity of space and nature of their job. I have lived in a joint family in the past and I enjoyed being pampered by each elder and it was great fun to share our joys and sorrows together.
@SIMPLYD (83349)
• Philippines
18 Aug 11
Yes, i mean that and those families also that lives in a compound having houses of their own near each other. Sometimes though, joint family system creates disagreement when the daughters and sons-in laws will be uncooperative or lazy to do their share of the chores. Mostly the problem is that some would not even contribute to the foods they eat everyday. Thus, trouble will erupt between the families. But notwithstanding the above situations, generally a joint family system makes a happy atmosphere for everybody.
@rollylolly (2847)
• India
17 Aug 11
I had the experience of staying in a joint family in my childhood . It was great fun to be with grandparents,uncle,aunts and cousins . Never felt lonely . Learnt the habit of sharing things with cousins . Played with them and never felt low . Grandparents shared stories and experiences with us . I really miss those time . There may have been some misunderstandings and hot talks sometimes but with intervention of elders all got solved in no time .
@SIMPLYD (83349)
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
It cannot be avoided for conflicts to arise in a joint family. But the elders are there to intervene and settle it. It's really enjoyable specially for the kids if they live in one compound with their relatives. They grow up close and as if siblings!
@whengcat (1458)
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
Its a good thing really, but sometimes there are also bad sides specially when misunderstandings begin. There are some families here in our place who live together in one compound but family disputes begun, and it's all about their properties. Disputes like who really owns the land and etc. and it's a sad thing to see that these families are now torn apart, others have some pending cases on court with their own relatives.
@SIMPLYD (83349)
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
That true. When someone starts asking as to who the real owner of the compound is, disputes arises. But usually, as in our case, the compound is owned by our grandfather, but had it subdivided to his children. So each has their own assigned lots, complete with document.
• Indonesia
17 Aug 11
wow, it doesn't happen to me. but it's Happen on my Grand grand grand Father. They are Clanish Family, but they ancestry not follow them, because the progress of the time, their more modern now.
@SIMPLYD (83349)
• Philippines
17 Aug 11
Well you are right , some have chosen not to adapt it anymore. But this was what was prevalent long time ago. Now, some would just live in a compound but not in one big house anymore. Maybe because of conflicts that arises between in-laws, which is usually the case now.